Favourite Britcoms

[Labrador]

I did a search for it in googel, all that came up was some show with Eddie Griffin (guy from Undercover Brother) that's not the one I mean

 

[JPPT1974]

[size=+3]Dead Parrot Sketch[/size]




The cast:

MR. PRALINE
John Cleese
SHOP OWNER
Michael Palin



The sketch:

A customer enters a pet shop.

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
show...

(owner hits the cage)

Owner: There, he moved!

Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

Owner: I never!!

Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

Owner: I never, never did anything...

Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

(pause)

Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of parrots.

Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner: I got a slug.

(pause)

Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk? Owner: Nnnnot really.

 

[Col]

help me out here, I can't think of the name, but the two main characters were named MALCOLM and EDDIE. It was a lot of slapstick comedy and crude humour.

Malcolm and Eddie bottom.... something like that

"Bottom" staring Adrian Edmunson as "Eddie Hitler" and Rick Mayall as "Richard Richard".

The Mighty Boosh
Men Behaving Badly
Dad's Army
Steptoe and Son
The Good Life
It aint Half Hot Mum
Kenny Everett Video Show

 

[shari54]

At Home with the Braitwaits is the best but I guess it is not a sitcom

 

[symphonyb]

monty python!!

 

[Danyr]

Trigger happy...good clean fun...

 

[Arwen Undomiel]

"Bottom" staring Adrian Edmunson as "Eddie Hitler" and Rick Mayall as "Richard Richard".

...and they were much better in the Young Ones.

 

[elenas_flickaby]

yeah the dead parrot sketch is fabulous but you can't beat the nobody expects the spanish inquisition sketch!

whoever it was who said the office, so right. that never tires of being funny, especially the whole conversation about what'll happen if gareth's stapler which tim threw out the window kills someone!! and of course the talking cookie jar.

Col, i congratulate you, i seriously didn;t think anyone else would know the mighty boosh. the tv series was hilarious, and i have the radio series on cd...cheers me up every day

i also love blackadder fawlty towers and the thin blue line (totally underrated)

 

[LondonsBurning]

Blackadder and the Young Ones.

 

[Diane_Windsor]

Father Ted

Keeping Up Appearances

My Hero

And of course Monty Python is the greatest comedy show to come out of Britain!

I'm sure there are a few others that I have yet to really discover.