Father Refuses To Allow Organ Donation

[Inkachu]

Organs of brain-dead girl won't be donated | Fox News

Has anyone seen a reason of WHY the father didn't want the girls' organs donated?

Obviously, having never been in this situation (and God forbid any of us ever are), I can't say how I'd react, either.

 

[ThisBrotherOfHis]

Organs of brain-dead girl won't be donated | Fox News

Has anyone seen a reason of WHY the father didn't want the girls' organs donated?

Obviously, having never been in this situation (and God forbid any of us ever are), I can't say how I'd react, either.

There is a link in the Fox News article leading to a more detailed story on The New York Timeswebsite that explains it. He made multiple reports the girl's step-father was abusing her physically, but authorities apparently paid no heed. Then the step-father shook her too violently one day, and she went into a coma. The mother wanted the organs donated, but the dad believed she was still alive. When it came right down to it, I think this quote from the NYT article says it best: “If they’d have been listening to me from the get-go,” he said, then paused, as he was tearing up. “My daughter’s eyes is beautiful; I don’t want nothing removed,” he said, wiping at his eyes with a tissue.

 

[bhsmte]

The father has a right to disagree with the organ donation and he did.

 

[ThisBrotherOfHis]

Organs of brain-dead girl won't be donated | Fox News

Has anyone seen a reason of WHY the father didn't want the girls' organs donated?

Obviously, having never been in this situation (and God forbid any of us ever are), I can't say how I'd react, either.

There is a link in the Fox News article leading to a more detailed story on The New York Times website that explains it. He made multiple reports the girl's step-father was abusing her physically, but authorities apparently paid no heed. Then the step-father shook her too violently one day, and she went into a coma. The mother wanted the organs donated, but the dad believed she was still alive. When it came right down to it, I think this quote from the NYT article says it best:

“If they’d have been listening to me from the get-go,” he said, then paused, as he was tearing up. “My daughter’s eyes is beautiful; I don’t want nothing removed,” he said, wiping at his eyes with a tissue.​

 

[seashale76]

The father has a right to disagree with the organ donation and he did.

Yep.

 

[Billnew]

The decision is never easy.
You first have to give up hope that she will wake up.
Then you have to accept that parts of your child's body will be removed and given to those in need.
I hope I never have to make this choice, but I would probably allow the donation. I think both my daughters have said they wanted to be an organ donor.

 

[Inkachu]

There is a link in the Fox News article leading to a more detailed story on The New York Timeswebsite that explains it. He made multiple reports the girl's step-father was abusing her physically, but authorities apparently paid no heed. Then the step-father shook her too violently one day, and she went into a coma. The mother wanted the organs donated, but the dad believed she was still alive. When it came right down to it, I think this quote from the NYT article says it best: “If they’d have been listening to me from the get-go,” he said, then paused, as he was tearing up. “My daughter’s eyes is beautiful; I don’t want nothing removed,” he said, wiping at his eyes with a tissue.

That's probably how I'd feel, too. "That's my baby, you aren't going to cut him/her up." It's a little different, I think, when it's a child.

 

[Skaloop]

I personally don't understand why anyone would be opposed to having their organs (or the organs of their loved ones) donated. Donated for transplant, donated for research, donated for medical training; I hope to have every single part of me used for something when I die. It's far more useful than just a rotting corpse six-feet under or an urn of ashes scattered.

I'm serious, I cannot think of a good reason not to be an organ donor (other than obvious issues of like diseased or damaged tissue). I understand that it is an emotional and devastating time for him, but her eyes are beautiful? Of course they are. Will they be more beautiful if she still has them when she's dead, or would they be more beautiful used to aid in providing sight to others? I mean, even if nothing gets removed, it's not like they're going to be serving any better purpose.

 

[ThisBrotherOfHis]

I personally don't understand why anyone would be opposed to having their organs (or the organs of their loved ones) donated. Donated for transplant, donated for research, donated for medical training; I hope to have every single part of me used for something when I die. It's far more useful than just a rotting corpse six-feet under or an urn of ashes scattered.

I'm serious, I cannot think of a good reason not to be an organ donor (other than obvious issues of like diseased or damaged tissue). I understand that it is an emotional and devastating time for him, but her eyes are beautiful? Of course they are. Will they be more beautiful if she still has them when she's dead, or would they be more beautiful used to aid in providing sight to others? I mean, even if nothing gets removed, it's not like they're going to be serving any better purpose.

When you have to make that decision for your own child, though, that conviction becomes not so cut-and-dried.

 

[keith99]

The decision is never easy.
You first have to give up hope that she will wake up.
Then you have to accept that parts of your child's body will be removed and given to those in need.
I hope I never have to make this choice, but I would probably allow the donation. I think both my daughters have said they wanted to be an organ donor.

Bolding mine.

That part I understand.

I'd rather have my memory of my child be that because of them someone else could see, or even live rather than the opposite.

I do understand his desire to not do what his ex wished, but if I decided to take action in that area it would be far more direct.

 

[Aureus]

When you have to make that decision for your own child, though, that conviction becomes not so cut-and-dried.

For some people it remains that cut and dry. It only gets complicated if you have some kind of lingering problem with it in the first place and you're having to finally confront that lingering feeling. Since I've no lingering feelings on the matter I rather fail to see how it would ever not be a simple decision.

 

[Skaloop]

When you have to make that decision for your own child, though, that conviction becomes not so cut-and-dried.

Speak for yourself. Sure, the decision to proceed with harvesting of her organs could be a difficult one if she's on life support, and that's more a choice of whether to terminate her life. But the choice to actually have her organs harvested ain't no real choice at all.

 

[Inkachu]

I personally don't understand why anyone would be opposed to having their organs (or the organs of their loved ones) donated. Donated for transplant, donated for research, donated for medical training; I hope to have every single part of me used for something when I die. It's far more useful than just a rotting corpse six-feet under or an urn of ashes scattered.

I'm serious, I cannot think of a good reason not to be an organ donor (other than obvious issues of like diseased or damaged tissue). I understand that it is an emotional and devastating time for him, but her eyes are beautiful? Of course they are. Will they be more beautiful if she still has them when she's dead, or would they be more beautiful used to aid in providing sight to others? I mean, even if nothing gets removed, it's not like they're going to be serving any better purpose.

I would probably be OK with it, if it were a parent or spouse. But a little baby or toddler... I think that's a different scenario. Purely emotional, sure, but understandable for me. Frankly, if anything happened to my child, I would probably be so incoherent and demented with grief, I wouldn't be able to talk to anyone, much less discuss something like organ donation.

 

[keith99]

Time to upset everyone.

The Christian faith has many practices that are beneficial in ways that are often not obvious. Forgiveness is one of them. One who does not forgive very often harbors hate which will grow and harm him as much as it does anyone else.

My gut feeling is a large part of this decision is that he is harboring hate for his ex wife. If it continues it will consume him. He would be far better off letting that go and allowing his daughters organs to help others.

 

[Inkachu]

I dunno, Keith, if you had just lost your 2 year old baby, I don't think you'd be so calculating, I think you'd be simply grief-stricken.

 

[keith99]

I dunno, Keith, if you had just lost your 2 year old baby, I don't think you'd be so calculating, I think you'd be simply grief-stricken.

Perhaps. For me it is still easy on that point. Heck I've made it clear that my choice for disposal of my remains would be to send me to the vets office to be part of a mass cremation of pets. Efficient and I'd be in good company.

Frankly I do not care in the least about an empty shell.

 

[bhsmte]

Time to upset everyone.

The Christian faith has many practices that are beneficial in ways that are often not obvious. Forgiveness is one of them. One who does not forgive very often harbors hate which will grow and harm him as much as it does anyone else.

My gut feeling is a large part of this decision is that he is harboring hate for his ex wife. If it continues it will consume him. He would be far better off letting that go and allowing his daughters organs to help others.

You could be right and you could be wrong.

His ex may have been an A-1 jerk and he may be an A-1 jerk, I have no idea. He may just be having emotional issues with his daughter being carved up as well.

 

[abysmul]

The father has a right to disagree with the organ donation and he did.

Amen.

In my opinion, this falls under "none of our dang business".

 

[Inkachu]

Perhaps. For me it is still easy on that point. Heck I've made it clear that my choice for disposal of my remains would be to send me to the vets office to be part of a mass cremation of pets. Efficient and I'd be in good company.

Frankly I do not care in the least about an empty shell.

I agree, because you're a mature, thinking, grown man who can make his own choices. When it's a baby, though... that's where it gets different. You can't say "Well, she would've wanted this" because it's not true, she was just a baby. It's too awful to think about.

 

[Skaloop]

I would probably be OK with it, if it were a parent or spouse. But a little baby or toddler... I think that's a different scenario. Purely emotional, sure, but understandable for me. Frankly, if anything happened to my child, I would probably be so incoherent and demented with grief, I wouldn't be able to talk to anyone, much less discuss something like organ donation.

I'd be incoherent and demented with grief, too, but the choice has already been made. If my two-year old child dies, any of his or her organs or tissues that are acceptable for donation will be donated. Done deal. I wouldn't even need to discuss it.

Not to mention that unless the child died suddenly, there would be ample time to discuss things with the doctors before the grief.

Personally, I think donation should be mandatory. Then grieving parents and relatives wouldn't even be faced with the choice.