Father doesn't believe

[RepentingSinner]

Hi,

My worldly father has never believed in Jesus or God, and as a child told me that we just end up as "worm food.." His "partner" (a woman) says "only stupid people believe in God!"

This was before I was 'born-again' as an adult for the last 5 months, since then I have tried to reach out to my Dad a couple times to share my testimony and gospel that could help him, because I thought he made a change, because he became a Minister, but seems just to do it for weddings, but I know that to be an official minister, you have to give a testimony of your experience with God.

So again, I sent my Dad some info on Jesus and the spiritual world because he was saying he has ghosts in his home. After that he was like "Thanks, but I don't see it like that, and I am not a believer and I will go about it my way!"

I know Jesus brought a sword to divide father against son, etc.. but I was at least trying to help save my own Father because I can see he is in sin, but I have to respect and honor my father so I disrespect him.

With his statements to me he is just affirming that he doesn't believe in Jesus and essentially saying Jesus is a liar, and that means my father is an anti-Christ, and to him the gospel is not true.

I want to respectfully respond, I don't know if I should ask him why he doesn't believe because of his previous insults, but at the same time I do, because maybe it's something that can be answered with Apologetics or so I can understand why.

What do you recommend I do in this situation?
Let it go, my Dad made his choice?
Ask questions about why he doesn't believe to further my understanding?

Thanks for the help.

 

[Benam]

You can't always witness directly. Sometimes you just have to witness by example, let them see the changes in you. And pray for him and his partner daily.

 

[bèlla]

Pray for your father. Sometimes familiarity makes ministry difficult with loved ones and they’re less receptive. Ask the Lord to bring laborers to minister to your father and show you how to pray for him. Above all, love him. That does more than everything else.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

 

[AK1982]

Yes, pray! Better still, fasting and praying.

Transformation of hearts is Something that only God can accomplish in His timing and according to His will. We need to keep praying and waiting patiently for God’s hand to move.

 

[1watchman]

Hi,

My worldly father has never believed in Jesus or God, and as a child told me that we just end up as "worm food.." His "partner" (a woman) says "only stupid people believe in God!"

This was before I was 'born-again' as an adult for the last 5 months, since then I have tried to reach out to my Dad a couple times to share my testimony and gospel that could help him, because I thought he made a change, because he became a Minister, but seems just to do it for weddings, but I know that to be an official minister, you have to give a testimony of your experience with God.

So again, I sent my Dad some info on Jesus and the spiritual world because he was saying he has ghosts in his home. After that he was like "Thanks, but I don't see it like that, and I am not a believer and I will go about it my way!"

I know Jesus brought a sword to divide father against son, etc.. but I was at least trying to help save my own Father because I can see he is in sin, but I have to respect and honor my father so I disrespect him.

With his statements to me he is just affirming that he doesn't believe in Jesus and essentially saying Jesus is a liar, and that means my father is an anti-Christ, and to him the gospel is not true.

I want to respectfully respond, I don't know if I should ask him why he doesn't believe because of his previous insults, but at the same time I do, because maybe it's something that can be answered with Apologetics or so I can understand why.

What do you recommend I do in this situation?
Let it go, my Dad made his choice?
Ask questions about why he doesn't believe to further my understanding?

Thanks for the help.

There is a saying: "a mind persuaded against its will, is of the same opinion still". If your father ever reads the New Testament of the Holy Bible ---especially noting John 3; John 14; Romans 8; etc. he MIGHT see we WILL all face our Creator-God one day, and good living or just a religion will NOT get one into Heaven ---only being cast into Hell. If you ever have opportunity to write to your father (if not able to speak to him) refer him to these verses to hear God speaking personally. He might read them. I tried that with my father who openly scoffed at there being a creator-God; and later after I was saved I gave him a sound gospel tract to read. He did read it right then and never said anything ever after, so I do not know if he ever changed. We always had a bad relationship and I mostly avoided him due to his temper.

Many years later after I was married and living in another city my father died --never changing his views, as far as I could tell. I can only hope he did come to Jesus Christ for salvation. My prayers for him was not effective, I saw over the years; and he has seemed to me to be one whose mind was made up. I can only hope he changed.

Keep trying to be a witness, friend and pray much to all you meet!

 

[Lukaris]

Perhaps you could ask your father to ponder the moral teachings of the Lord. Until most recent time, these were almost respected as even secular common sense ( I think that is no longer the case but it still might relate to some people). If so, maybe he might consider that are not these teachings a necessary basis for our conscience to know right from wrong in living life?

He might only end up seeing Jesus as a great moral teacher from this but maybe he might eventually consider Him as someone more.

Things to consider are the basic moral commandments of the Lord. See:

Matthew 7:1-12 & focus on Matthew 7:12 ( the golden rule)

Matthew 19:16-19, Romans 13:8-10 etc. these are basic moral commandments ( which he would probably be ok with). These are rounded out by love God though so he might be ok except for that. Still, is it something that could be left as a worthwhile consideration? I mean some agnostics keep part of their mindset open to greater possibilities.

Other matters to consider are charity & prayer ( Matthew 6:1-15). I know prayer would not be on the radar now but hopefully, charity is ( Matthew 6:1-4).

If he can go further ( it might take time) but matters to consider re the Lord’s teachings is that if we love His commandments, we might love Him. This is what the Lord testifies in John 14:15-18. It is here that an individual might receive the Holy Spirit & begin to get the Gospel.

Pray that he will receive His Lord & Savior. If he only gets the message in a good moral sense, still pray for him. The Lord, I believe, will give everyone a hearing in ways we cannot fully grasp but can have much hope for. The Lord says those who have done good will be saved ( John 5:22-30 etc.). Also, consider Matthew 12:31-33 etc.).

 

[RepentingSinner]

Perhaps you could ask your father to ponder the moral teachings of the Lord. Until most recent time, these were almost respected as even secular common sense ( I think that is no longer the case but it still might relate to some people). If so, maybe he might consider that are not these teachings a necessary basis for our conscience to know right from wrong in living life?

He might only end up seeing Jesus as a great moral teacher from this but maybe he might eventually consider Him as someone more.

Things to consider are the basic moral commandments of the Lord. See:

Matthew 7:1-12 & focus on Matthew 7:12 ( the golden rule)

Matthew 19:16-19, Romans 13:8-10 etc. these are basic moral commandments ( which he would probably be ok with). These are rounded out by love God though so he might be ok except for that. Still, is it something that could be left as a worthwhile consideration? I mean some agnostics keep part of their mindset open to greater possibilities.

Other matters to consider are charity & prayer ( Matthew 6:1-15). I know prayer would not be on the radar now but hopefully, charity is ( Matthew 6:1-4).

If he can go further ( it might take time) but matters to consider re the Lord’s teachings is that if we love His commandments, we might love Him. This is what the Lord testifies in John 14:15-18. It is here that an individual might receive the Holy Spirit & begin to get the Gospel.

Pray that he will receive His Lord & Savior. If he only gets the message in a good moral sense, still pray for him. The Lord, I believe, will give everyone a hearing in ways we cannot fully grasp but can have much hope for. The Lord says those who have done good will be saved ( John 5:22-30 etc.). Also, consider Matthew 12:31-33 etc.).

Thank you for taking the time to reply, these are great suggestions.

I totally agree that Jesus is the only true moral teacher, and disciplinarian, a big reason why I was drawn to Jesus, but I was already on a path on self-control and discipline and inner examination, so I was up early at 4AM working out every morning, then found out Jesus wakes up early too, this started my interest in Jesus because I admire a discipline man, this lead me to asking for forgiveness and repenting from my sins, and seeing my sins, the Holy Spirit filled me with Jesus's love beyond anything I ever felt including the love of my mother who died over 12 years, ago, so for over 12 years I felt nothing of love, until Jesus came into my life in August 2020 and has not left me since, and I became obsessed with learning everything I could about Jesus to get closer to Him and Love Jesus Christ, who saved me, a sinner.

I told my Dad that I am open to understanding his views on why he believes what he believes as I am open to learning and seeing all sides, so I basically opened myself up for him to tell me his views and even convince me I am wrong, but instead he just said that it's important to learn and see other views etc.., but he never gave his own. It kinda felt like he was saying it's I that need to keep searching for the right view, like he figured it all out in 5 seconds, but won't put his views on the line for discussion.

I feel the reason my Dad won't give his views is because he probably dismisses having faith is made up and not real and is used as a type of comfort therapy and it's only for weak unintelligent unexperienced sensitive people that can't make sense of the world, which he told me before, so I guess he doesn't want to push the issue and upset me.

And I don't know how my Dad would react to Jesus's moral teachings, like adultery, looking with lust, using the Lord's name in vain, angry in the heart, being a materialist, because he mainly just desires money and things, doesn't acknowledge his sin or the pain he has cause, he divorces my mother, while I suspect he was seeing another women who is now his partner, who is a non-believer who told me only stupid people believe in God. It feels to me the main reason why my Dad doesn't believe is because of the morals and discipline of following Christ, because he would be guilty and I don't think he can humble himself to feel guilt and ask for forgiveness from Jesus, as he is a very proud man.

I still didn't give up and I sent my Dad one last message with a link to the movie "Paul, Apostle of Christ", so he could watch it to understand my faith better, but I got no reply.

I think I have done all I can for now, I don't think my Dad is interested or doesn't care, or really doesn't want to recognize God's laws and how he is guilty of breaking them and he needs Jesus to be forgiven and to have internal life.

One thing I notice also about my Dad, is that he will use Jesus's name in vain, and even say stuff like, "ye of little faith" or "we all have our crosses to bare" and I don't think he realizes it, or he does, but he is breaking Gods laws with the blasphemy. But he is also taking from Jesus and using his words, out of context of what Jesus meant. So next time my Dad says one of these phrases, I think I will ask him what he means and why is he using Jesus's words when he doesn't believe in Jesus. Maybe he is mocking Jesus and he knows exactly what he is doing or he is clueless.

At this point I guess I will just pray, and maybe be able to share more when he is ready, but he is a proud man, so I don't know if that will ever happen. The only thing he gets excited about is making money, only photos in his phone are of his car, which he jokes about not having family photos.

And Jesus said he will bring a sword to divide Father against Son, so it seems I can't really do anything at this point and the scriptures are fulfilled.

 

[Lukaris]

Thank you for taking the time to reply, these are great suggestions.

I totally agree that Jesus is the only true moral teacher, and disciplinarian, a big reason why I was drawn to Jesus, but I was already on a path on self-control and discipline and inner examination, so I was up early at 4AM working out every morning, then found out Jesus wakes up early too, this started my interest in Jesus because I admire a discipline man, this lead me to asking for forgiveness and repenting from my sins, and seeing my sins, the Holy Spirit filled me with Jesus's love beyond anything I ever felt including the love of my mother who died over 12 years, ago, so for over 12 years I felt nothing of love, until Jesus came into my life in August 2020 and has not left me since, and I became obsessed with learning everything I could about Jesus to get closer to Him and Love Jesus Christ, who saved me, a sinner.

I told my Dad that I am open to understanding his views on why he believes what he believes as I am open to learning and seeing all sides, so I basically opened myself up for him to tell me his views and even convince me I am wrong, but instead he just said that it's important to learn and see other views etc.., but he never gave his own. It kinda felt like he was saying it's I that need to keep searching for the right view, like he figured it all out in 5 seconds, but won't put his views on the line for discussion.

I feel the reason my Dad won't give his views is because he probably dismisses having faith is made up and not real and is used as a type of comfort therapy and it's only for weak unintelligent unexperienced sensitive people that can't make sense of the world, which he told me before, so I guess he doesn't want to push the issue and upset me.

And I don't know how my Dad would react to Jesus's moral teachings, like adultery, looking with lust, using the Lord's name in vain, angry in the heart, being a materialist, because he mainly just desires money and things, doesn't acknowledge his sin or the pain he has cause, he divorces my mother, while I suspect he was seeing another women who is now his partner, who is a non-believer who told me only stupid people believe in God. It feels to me the main reason why my Dad doesn't believe is because of the morals and discipline of following Christ, because he would be guilty and I don't think he can humble himself to feel guilt and ask for forgiveness from Jesus, as he is a very proud man.

I still didn't give up and I sent my Dad one last message with a link to the movie "Paul, Apostle of Christ", so he could watch it to understand my faith better, but I got no reply.

I think I have done all I can for now, I don't think my Dad is interested or doesn't care, or really doesn't want to recognize God's laws and how he is guilty of breaking them and he needs Jesus to be forgiven and to have internal life.

One thing I notice also about my Dad, is that he will use Jesus's name in vain, and even say stuff like, "ye of little faith" or "we all have our crosses to bare" and I don't think he realizes it, or he does, but he is breaking Gods laws with the blasphemy. But he is also taking from Jesus and using his words, out of context of what Jesus meant. So next time my Dad says one of these phrases, I think I will ask him what he means and why is he using Jesus's words when he doesn't believe in Jesus. Maybe he is mocking Jesus and he knows exactly what he is doing or he is clueless.

At this point I guess I will just pray, and maybe be able to share more when he is ready, but he is a proud man, so I don't know if that will ever happen. The only thing he gets excited about is making money, only photos in his phone are of his car, which he jokes about not having family photos.

And Jesus said he will bring a sword to divide Father against Son, so it seems I can't really do anything at this point and the scriptures are fulfilled.

Prayers for you in your efforts. I hope he will watch the movie: Paul: Apostle of Christ, it is really good.

 

[Walking the Path]

Hi,

My worldly father has never believed in Jesus or God, and as a child told me that we just end up as "worm food.." His "partner" (a woman) says "only stupid people believe in God!"

This was before I was 'born-again' as an adult for the last 5 months, since then I have tried to reach out to my Dad a couple times to share my testimony and gospel that could help him, because I thought he made a change, because he became a Minister, but seems just to do it for weddings, but I know that to be an official minister, you have to give a testimony of your experience with God.

So again, I sent my Dad some info on Jesus and the spiritual world because he was saying he has ghosts in his home. After that he was like "Thanks, but I don't see it like that, and I am not a believer and I will go about it my way!"

I know Jesus brought a sword to divide father against son, etc.. but I was at least trying to help save my own Father because I can see he is in sin, but I have to respect and honor my father so I disrespect him.

With his statements to me he is just affirming that he doesn't believe in Jesus and essentially saying Jesus is a liar, and that means my father is an anti-Christ, and to him the gospel is not true.

I want to respectfully respond, I don't know if I should ask him why he doesn't believe because of his previous insults, but at the same time I do, because maybe it's something that can be answered with Apologetics or so I can understand why.

What do you recommend I do in this situation?
Let it go, my Dad made his choice?
Ask questions about why he doesn't believe to further my understanding?

Thanks for the help.

That's a tricky one!

I wouldn't force it with your father; provide information and provide your viewpoint, but don't try and force something that doesn't want to go. What you have done is brave and honest, and that is commendable. My parents are like your father; they have little faith, however, I pray God will guide them.
I will remember you, and your father in my prayers.

Blessings!

 

[terryjohn]

Hi,

My worldly father has never believed in Jesus or God, and as a child told me that we just end up as "worm food.." His "partner" (a woman) says "only stupid people believe in God!"

This was before I was 'born-again' as an adult for the last 5 months, since then I have tried to reach out to my Dad a couple times to share my testimony and gospel that could help him, because I thought he made a change, because he became a Minister, but seems just to do it for weddings, but I know that to be an official minister, you have to give a testimony of your experience with God.

So again, I sent my Dad some info on Jesus and the spiritual world because he was saying he has ghosts in his home. After that he was like "Thanks, but I don't see it like that, and I am not a believer and I will go about it my way!"

I know Jesus brought a sword to divide father against son, etc.. but I was at least trying to help save my own Father because I can see he is in sin, but I have to respect and honor my father so I disrespect him.

With his statements to me he is just affirming that he doesn't believe in Jesus and essentially saying Jesus is a liar, and that means my father is an anti-Christ, and to him the gospel is not true.

I want to respectfully respond, I don't know if I should ask him why he doesn't believe because of his previous insults, but at the same time I do, because maybe it's something that can be answered with Apologetics or so I can understand why.

What do you recommend I do in this situation?
Let it go, my Dad made his choice?
Ask questions about why he doesn't believe to further my understanding?

Thanks for the help.

I have come to realise that if we are make a difference in others lives, we have to first and continually seek his kingdom and his righteousness before anything is to come to pass. I can confess to having witnessed that I am continually amazed when I am in Christ things happen and when I am not, they do not.

 

[Cormack]

Hey mate, I hope the situation has improved with family since you posted the thread. Not knowing the situation or people in depth I’ll write in a more general way.

Admitting we’re wrong isn’t easy, but to admit you’re wrong to your own children is doubly trying for some fathers. It’s very humbling, to say the least. You pointed to his pride, that means being humbled by his baby son and having to put to death some lifelong habits isn’t likely.

Maybe your father will change his mind and come to a place of faith and hope, your job in that could be a seed planter, a waterer or something else. Don’t see yourself as bearing all the weight of changing his mind.

I’d recommend two things that’ll help. First off abandon the idea of changing his mind or making faith based conversations a top priority, people can sense when religion is dominating the conversation and they often resent Christ for it.

Second I’d say “adore the gospel” by your life, be on your purpose, enjoy life with him and never let your passion for God destroy your bond together. Rather help him see how much better your life together is thanks to Gods involvement in your life.

If you’re on fire for the Lord right now this should be even easier, channel that fire, not into debating but into your cars, your successful marriage, your faithfulness to a wife.

Put your success at the foot of Christ and give God thanks, be an impeccable example to your father (so far as you’re able) and let him come to you.

We can all achieve, and I’m sure your father has too, that’s what he values, but none of that has the shine of having achieved in Christ. Be a strong man, avoid the cliches, cliches are how people outside the church dismiss us.

This advice has helped me in the past. God bless mate, we all have someone dear in our lives who isn’t there yet.