Thanks for sharing that... I had been thinking recently about something similar... Last year during some counselling we reached a point where I had to kinda 'break ties with' some behaviours... kinda tricky to explain the exact context of the session...anyway...
At the end of it, I was exhausted, lost and crying... my counsellor recognised & explained some of what was going on inside of my confusion at that time. For so long SI had been a 'faithful friend' to me - one that I had come to rely on & could turn to for 'comfort' and 'release' and 'help', when there was no-one else 'safe' in my world. The problem with this 'friendship' however, is that it is based completely is lies & secrecy - the devils favourite destructive tools. SI is not a true comfort or help... is does not bring a lasting release from the inner turmoil that fuels our pain. In short, SI is not a friend to be trusted - 'he' is a pawn in the hands of the enemy of our souls... There are some 'friends' we just don't need in our life -SI is one of them. Sadly, somehow, we still need to mourn the loss of a relationship which has in a warped way given us so much... and it takes time to adjust to not having this 'friend' in our life anymore... especially when 'he' keeps calling and promising things will be different...
Even now as I write this, it has been probably 16 or 18 months since I cut, and nearly 12 months since that session with my counsellor...and yet, SI is knocking at the door every day begging me to let him in to 'play' and promising so many things...
So far, through God's grace & the strengthening of the faithful prayers of a few friends, I haven't opened the door to this thief... I just have to keep chosing to open the door to my heart & life to Jesus, as He is the only one who can truly comfort, release, and help... more than that He also promises forgiveness, healing, restoration, safety, a refuge, understanding, loyalty, protection, provision, acceptance, mercy, love & an abundant life.
I pray that together, with God's tender guidance & strength, we will find a way through the next minute, hour, day, week, year, etc, to keep the door closed to SI, and open to our precious Saviour.
