Hi all,
This is a blog posted yesterday by Gordon Wright. I wanted to comment on it, but it was closed already. So I relocated it here.
###
(The blog)
I'm pretty sure I posted this before, but can't remember when or where. After this, I intend to give the topic a rest for a long while...
There is a false god being worshiped in Christian churches; a destructive false doctrine hidden in plain sight. The god is family.
When is the last time you encountered a church that didn't emphasize that it was family-friendly? A church that didn't promise that living by the Bible would solve your family problems? A church that didn't put marriage and children front and center. A church that didn't act as if singles were somehow defective? Did you just assume this was the way things should be? The Bible says otherwise. And churches are failing because of this idolatry.
Consider these two propositions:
1. The main purpose of the church is to seek and save the lost
2. The main purpose of the church is to build strong family relationships.
Which of these two can you cite Biblical support for? And which is preached and practiced by your church?
"But, wait a minute!" you object. "Isn't a strong family a good thing?" Of course it is. So is banana nut bread. Should your church's main purpose be banana nut bread? Should you set aside other things for banana nut bread? And if your devotion to banana nut bread interferes with seeking and saving the lost, do you sacrifice the Great Commission for banana nut bread?
"Don't be absurd!" you reply, indignantly. "There's nothing about family that conflicts with seeking and saving the lost!"
In fact, there's quite a lot about a family emphasis that conflicts with seeking and saving the lost.
Anything set in place of God is an idol.
Churches set family in place of God.
This is idolatry.
To overemphasize family goes against Jesus
Persecution comes from family
It has consequences.
- Family-centrism makes church alienating
- kids raised in church can't relate
- people from bad families can't relate to church
- cult of marriage alienates singles
- alienates those from dysfunctional families
- destroys faith with false promises
Alternative: a balanced view.
###
(My comment) Ever read something, and you feel like they took the words right out of your mouth?
For a few years I attended a home fellowship group in a family home, new kids continually added, but there was never any over-emphasis on family. It was a healthy home with a healthy atmosphere.
Then they moved away, and I started going to another fellowship. This one was another story entirely. The leader preached family, talked incessantly of family, swore by James Dobson and never missed a broadcast. He spoke of those who were "coming after our kids" and there was a severe vibe of Us Against Them. This was a hard-line right-wing conservative group, and the "them" in this case were liberals. I don't know if there's anything like this on the left.
That was years ago. Reading Mr. Wright's post, I felt over and over again like he'd hit the nail on the head. Like:
>Anything set in place of God is an idol.
Churches set family in place of God.<
How many times have I thought, these people made an idol out of family? I don't think it's too much of an exaggeration. The leader had us listen to long, solemn sermons about the importance of family, and messages from Focus On The Family. (Now doesn't the name say it all? What's the focus on? Not on God, not on the new life. And then there's Family Christian bookstores, Family Radio, Family Research Council, etc. etc.) Which brings up the points:
>Family-centrism makes church alienating<
Being single, as I was and am, that was certainly the case. Seeing, hearing all the incessant celebration/defense/preaching of family, you feel like you're on the outside looking in, however much they insist you belong.
>people from bad families can't relate to church
- cult of marriage alienates singles
- alienates those from dysfunctional families<
It also doesn't help that my own family upbringing wasn't nearly as sunny as the leader's, as well as other ministers/pastors I've heard, especially when they boast so often of how good their boyhood years were. As well as, inevitably, their amazing wives and delightful children, laughing, gushing, reminding me every single meeting of what I'm missing.
What really makes me angry is that people seem to think, well, if you've got no family, then the church people are your family; your Bible study friends are your family. Metaphorical mind games. They were friends, certainly. But they habitually emphasize the importance of family, and do they really think something so important can be so easily substituted?
So anyway, that's my two cents.
This is a blog posted yesterday by Gordon Wright. I wanted to comment on it, but it was closed already. So I relocated it here.
###
(The blog)
I'm pretty sure I posted this before, but can't remember when or where. After this, I intend to give the topic a rest for a long while...
There is a false god being worshiped in Christian churches; a destructive false doctrine hidden in plain sight. The god is family.
When is the last time you encountered a church that didn't emphasize that it was family-friendly? A church that didn't promise that living by the Bible would solve your family problems? A church that didn't put marriage and children front and center. A church that didn't act as if singles were somehow defective? Did you just assume this was the way things should be? The Bible says otherwise. And churches are failing because of this idolatry.
Consider these two propositions:
1. The main purpose of the church is to seek and save the lost
2. The main purpose of the church is to build strong family relationships.
Which of these two can you cite Biblical support for? And which is preached and practiced by your church?
"But, wait a minute!" you object. "Isn't a strong family a good thing?" Of course it is. So is banana nut bread. Should your church's main purpose be banana nut bread? Should you set aside other things for banana nut bread? And if your devotion to banana nut bread interferes with seeking and saving the lost, do you sacrifice the Great Commission for banana nut bread?
"Don't be absurd!" you reply, indignantly. "There's nothing about family that conflicts with seeking and saving the lost!"
In fact, there's quite a lot about a family emphasis that conflicts with seeking and saving the lost.
Anything set in place of God is an idol.
Churches set family in place of God.
This is idolatry.
To overemphasize family goes against Jesus
Persecution comes from family
It has consequences.
- Family-centrism makes church alienating
- kids raised in church can't relate
- people from bad families can't relate to church
- cult of marriage alienates singles
- alienates those from dysfunctional families
- destroys faith with false promises
Alternative: a balanced view.
###
(My comment) Ever read something, and you feel like they took the words right out of your mouth?
For a few years I attended a home fellowship group in a family home, new kids continually added, but there was never any over-emphasis on family. It was a healthy home with a healthy atmosphere.
Then they moved away, and I started going to another fellowship. This one was another story entirely. The leader preached family, talked incessantly of family, swore by James Dobson and never missed a broadcast. He spoke of those who were "coming after our kids" and there was a severe vibe of Us Against Them. This was a hard-line right-wing conservative group, and the "them" in this case were liberals. I don't know if there's anything like this on the left.
That was years ago. Reading Mr. Wright's post, I felt over and over again like he'd hit the nail on the head. Like:
>Anything set in place of God is an idol.
Churches set family in place of God.<
How many times have I thought, these people made an idol out of family? I don't think it's too much of an exaggeration. The leader had us listen to long, solemn sermons about the importance of family, and messages from Focus On The Family. (Now doesn't the name say it all? What's the focus on? Not on God, not on the new life. And then there's Family Christian bookstores, Family Radio, Family Research Council, etc. etc.) Which brings up the points:
>Family-centrism makes church alienating<
Being single, as I was and am, that was certainly the case. Seeing, hearing all the incessant celebration/defense/preaching of family, you feel like you're on the outside looking in, however much they insist you belong.
>people from bad families can't relate to church
- cult of marriage alienates singles
- alienates those from dysfunctional families<
It also doesn't help that my own family upbringing wasn't nearly as sunny as the leader's, as well as other ministers/pastors I've heard, especially when they boast so often of how good their boyhood years were. As well as, inevitably, their amazing wives and delightful children, laughing, gushing, reminding me every single meeting of what I'm missing.
What really makes me angry is that people seem to think, well, if you've got no family, then the church people are your family; your Bible study friends are your family. Metaphorical mind games. They were friends, certainly. But they habitually emphasize the importance of family, and do they really think something so important can be so easily substituted?
So anyway, that's my two cents.
