Falling back.

[jjust19]

I've been a Christian for about a year now and have been progressing in my relationship with Christ. I first became Christian after a life of empty relationships with other men and things relating to them I'd rather not bring up. Anyway, I've been having troubles with my church and went back on a gay dating site for old friends. I talked to old friends and made some new ones and genuinely felt accepted, even if it was feigned acceptance. After a few weeks on it, not thinking it was a sin and all due to the Bible only saying the act was (I didn't know about the "yoke" verses), I went over to my gay friend's house for a sleepover. I had no intention of it turning into anything more (others were supposed to come) and as you can imagine, things got out of hand. I'll spare you the details but I've fallen into despair over what I've done, especially after I repented of it before in tears promising that I'd never do it again. I think God used it in order to humble me by letting me fall into sin for not paying attention to him (i.e. rebelling, even if it was unintentional). Now I'm freaking out because even though I've repented and have got rid of the dating sites, I feel as if I can never be a true Christian and am Hell-bound. Mainly because of the sinning wilfully verse, even if it wasn't my initial intention. So now, I'm lost, confused, and am all alone in this world with no certainty and no support from my church. Should I even remain a Christian anymore? I want Christ in my life so badly, but I'm scared that I might of just lost my salvation for good.

 

[whitebeaches]

I'm sorry you don't have a a support system with your church and that you are feeling so confused and alone. He loves you so much and wont ever push you away. You are so precious to Him. ((( hugs )))

If you would like you may ask one of our Chaplains here this question or any others you may have at Ask A Chaplain located here.

praying for you

 

[Purge187]

JJ, a Bible verse that you and all of us can relate to is Romans 7:15: "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."

It sounds as if you allowed yourself to be placed into a position where you'd be more likely to fall into temptation, the same way David did by climbing up to the top of his house to peer at Bathsheba. Avoid those dating sites, and don't stay over that friend's house for extended periods of time. More importantly, ask God to transform you little by little, and to forgive you forthe times you fall.

I pray for you, bro.

 

[Purge187]

Testing.....

 

[Johnnz]

God is still there for you. Changing from past sexual patterns is usually pretty difficult, especially initially. Add that to wanting relationship, which you have not found in church, sadly. You have some strong pressures pushing you.

See if you can find a church with healthy teaching and who are better at caring for people who struggle with issues in their lives.

John
NZ

 

[keelercd]

Just like you I have same problems- but mine is of the straight, one of the things I did was to seek Christian counseling away from my church, take the advice of never be alone with the same sex who is openly gay- not at the movies, not a coffee shop, gay bar etc, get a porn blocker on your computer- a good one is XPRO it will give the option to have an accountability partner- example- You really want to go on that Gay dating site- but once you do- a friend is notified and so it keeps you accountable( give that person your password so you can not go in and turn XPRO off), Remember that Satan is the Master of all lies- and he loves the idea that he has placed in your mind - that now you are doomed for hell- well there is no verse that says if you are gay - you can not get right with Jesus or that you are thrown out of the heaven- its all just a mind game- Satan knows your young in Christ- by you focusing all the time on your sin- It will be hard for you to focus on Gods will. Another thing that you probably will have to do AND I KNOW IT IS HARD! but you have to start giving up your gay friends- and understand that they are going to bring you down- because unlike you they may not have Jesus and have been instructed spiritually by Satan to tell you that Jesus does not care about what your are doing. Go to Father figures that will give Godly advice- believe me, there will be the self righteous and the ones that say you are condemned from God! But JJ that is impossible God cannot hate something he made in his own image! See its all just a mind game from Satan! <Staff Edit> My prayers are with you- your sister in Christ!