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Falling apart

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dj12776

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I'm at my lowest point ever. I have been with fiancee for 13 months. We just got engaged 7 weeks ago and everything that can come against us has. We live 8 hours away from each other. We have made this long distance relationship happen for 13 months but it's been so hard. We love each other so much and we are both very spiritual. That spiritual bond was the most important thing when we met. We both have been hurt in past relationships and we just connected from day one. The love is strong but the problems we've faced in 13 months have been so tough. I wonder if God is telling us something. I'm beginning to wonder if this is not meant to be. I love her with all my heart but we haven't caught a break. About 3 months into the relationship she started having trouble with her ex husband and they have a kid together. When they got divorced a few years ago they agreed out of court on 50-50 everything. Well after we started dating the ex started just being mean and wasn't doing his court appointed duties and threating my fiancee with all kind of actions her would take and just lying. She decided to go back to court for full custody so her daughter would be with her most of the time and hoping the court get control of the ex's behavior. We'll the court system of course takes there time and get's everyone invovled and now its been right at ten months and they are still waiting on a trial. Mediation didnt work because the ex is out of control. SO that's a very hurting thing right now and we are trying to get through it.
I've been planning on moving for the past few months to be close to her and everything has gone wrong. We thought the court thing would be over by now. Then all of a sudden her new boss over only 4 months as really made her work enviroment crazy. She has been changing everything and switching schedules. My fiancee has her daughter for 7 days straight every other week and this is messing her up. She's had this schedule for over 5 years and now its being changed. This has also affected our travel plans to see each other once or twice a month like it has been. Of course money has become an issue with her court deal and I don't have a lot.
My father has recently got sick with heart problems and that has become an issue. Also my ex agreed to a visitation arrangement for my child and I for when I move and now she is playing hard to get along with after years of working together. She has full custody of my child and I get every othr weekend. She agreed to let me have my child summers, Holidays and every weekend I can come back after I move. I have business interest here where I currently live along with my child so it's important to come back on a regular basis.
My grandmother is in nursing home and my mom has to basically be there for her at all times. Well my grandmother is not doing good and my mom is trying to handle it the best way possible.
My fiancee and I have had a few other issues to deal with in the 13 months that have been difficult. BUt we love each other and really want to be with each other and trying to make it happen but everything that can come against us has. I wonder if it's not meant to be. I don't know a couple who loves each other that had to go through all this type of bad ordeals to be together. I feel alone, empty and scared. i love this woman with all my heart. She came along when I needed someone the most and has really showed me love and respect and is really go with my child. The thought of losing her really troubles me. She is special to me. But we are both being dragged every which away except in the direction to be together. I need some advice. I really need your prayers. I thank you and God bless you all...
 

cardfan1

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May 17, 2007
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I can relate with the engagement. I'm engaged right now, and my fiance and I have been through a lot the last couple years. When depression struck, I thought that the Lord was telling me I shouldn't be with her. I questioned so many things including our relationship. So I understand your concern and know how painful this can be. my fiance and i also live apart. (only about 3 hours though - i'm impressed with the 8!)

I'm not trying to get your hopes up or down, but one thing i've learned in the last few months - the decision to marry this girl is going to be up to you. I remember when I first started questioning every thing and having doubts. All i wanted to do was find the answer. I thought the Lord was trying to tell me something, so I prayed a bunch and asked my parents, pastor, friends, I looked everywhere, and is part of the reason i found this website. I know all you want is an answer and for the pain to go away, but I still want to warn you that the other people on this website, or anywhere for that matter, will give different advice and that is about all that can be given. and some prayers. so please remember that just because someone says you should or should not do this or that, it is still going to boil down to your decision.

Besides that, though, I know that the Lord allows for individuals as well as relationships to go through trials to strengthen. I don't know how much the Lord will use circumstances outside of the relationship to dictate whether or not someone should or should not be with someone else. I would just take everything to the Lord in prayer. your likes, dislikes, doubts, troubles, everything. and truely let Him have everything. If you truely love this girl, and the Lord wants you to be with her, you will. but it is the Lord's will that be done.

I will pray for you and your fiance. I really hope that the tough times ease up and that you may find happiness together. Please let me know if I can help further or answer anything else. May God bless you.

In Christ...
 
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