This is long, but I promise it is very much worth reading.
I went to my Campus Christian Fellowship’s “Fall Camp” this weekend. I went with my “Core” which is what we call Bible study/small groups at my college. I am SO glad I went. I was nervous because I don’t really know a lot of people in CCF except for my core girls. I also am a new Christian so I was feeling a little intimidated that most everyone was raised Christian or had been for a long time.
The speaker at the camp was Jim Houston and his wife Rita. Jim studied with C.S. Lewis at Oxford (right?) and they had a great friendship. They’re in their 80’s now and very adorable and witty. They’ve been married for fifty years!!! They are both so wise and it was a once in a lifetime chance to learn from them.
The first night there was the first “session” which is where we go to the gigantic gym/huge building that has basket ball nets, a rock climbing wall, a stage with lots of pews set up around it and just TONS of space which makes it very cold. The sessions all start out with worship and then Jim would teach us and then we’d worship again. There were four sessions, one Friday, two Saturday, and one Sunday.
Our Core was in a cabin together and it was so great to bond with the other girls. Not everyone came, but most of us were there. I really got to know the girls better, especially when we were talking after the sessions. We spent so much time together, it was really great. Each of us is very unique and we all have such love for Christ, I adore seeing that. I really bonded with E and A (haha, I'm not gonna say their names, just in case), my Core leaders and the Core girls in general.
Each session made me feel stronger and stronger in Christ. Jim reflected often on how you don’t live for you, you live for the Other. I really liked that. He has such an eloquent way of expressing himself. I love his Scottish accent too, his wife is British so together it’s like you just want to run up and hug them. E and I wanted to, but we never did. Jim and Rita call themselves CCF’s “Spiritual Grandparents” and it is SO adorable!!
After the first session on Saturday we met in our cabin as a Core to discuss it and use the questions they had on the projection as like…a guide for our topic. We ended up talking about how Satan influences our lives in ways that we tell people things. I had been feeling like I really wanted to share a secret with the girls, but it was like Satan was saying not to because it’s not important. It’s in the past and it’s okay now so I don’t need to share, that’s what I was hearing, but it was of Satan. I sort of described that to the girls and we kept talking on and on but the whole time I just wanted to shout out my secret!
On Saturday I also told my testimony to a couple girls in my Core which plays a part later in the day
The Saturday night session was by far my favorite. The first part of worship was really amazing, how open I was…I could feel the Holy Spirit so much! Then Jim talked about how we are free, but actually how most of us aren’t free at all. It really dawned on me how much I never realized that. It was SUCH a great lesson! He encouraged us to tell others our shamefulness because others are made in the image of God too and can help. Then we broke into our Cores and talked about the lesson. It was realllllly great! I love how we go off on tangents but that they’re thoughtful, not pointless.
Then we had worship again and it was like no worshiping I’ve done before. It was…amazing. People were going down in the front and praying and laying hands on others and it was just so wonderful to see. E was sitting next to me and I SO wanted to lean over and ask her if I could talk with her and A tonight, because I had something I really felt like God wanted me to get out. She got up to go pray with a girl who was sitting in the front so I was just worshiping instead. I was standing and MOVING which is something I don’t usually do yet and I had my eyes closed and it was just incredible. People were coming up to the microphone praying and saying things like “tell people the things that burden you” and it was like God was speaking in them to me, telling me that I really should let it out, let my secret out.
I worshiped and worshiped and worshiped! It was just SO amazing. I was filled with the Spirit, completely and it was…indescribable. The service ended and I turned around to A and asked her if I could talk with her and E, and she said yeah of course and that she’d go find her. We went over to the rock climbing wall area, because no one was there and it was roped off. There were pews all around and I sat down and they were on either side of me and I just…let my secret out. I trusted God that it would be understandable because I had no clue how to say it. I’ve only ever said it out loud to three other people. I told them that I was raped for six years. I told them that it was when I was 6 and I just…let it out. A was rubbing my back and E had her hand on my shoulder, it was so comforting. I told them and I felt free, just like Dr. Houston said. I hugged them both a lot and I leaned into A's shoulder and tears started coming and streaming down my face, something I haven’t done in public since before I can remember. They were hugging me and rubbing my back and it was just...like THAT is love, you know? That's how Christ made us, to love others like that.
By that time three guitar players and about 5 girls had come over about 10 feet in front of us and were playing worship music. I was smiling so much, I was so light…I had no burden. Eventually A left and E and I stayed on the pew.
We talked about so many things; my mother, my childhood, my future, the “crap” which I call the rape years, just…everything. We spent almost two hours just talking and talking. She told me that my testimony was inspiring, that it makes her happy and just so many great things that I never hear about myself. We hugged and she shared so much wisdom with me. Someday I will tell my story to others, hopefully soon...just not today.
I am so grateful for E and A. I’m so glad that God led me to them, to my college which I never planned on going to in the first place.
I’m thankful for the “crap” because it has led to me being saved. I blocked that hurt part of my life out, but about two years ago I had to stop doing pointe (it’s ballet stuff) and it broke my heart, my first broken heart. I talked to my ballet teacher about it a lot, we talked lots and lots. Suddenly the “crap” memories dawned on me and I knew I had to tell someone; so I told her. She was the most incredible about it, she loved me more and didn’t judge and she just comforted me so much. We talked more than ever and she would hug me often. Eventually she became my “other mother” (I don’t have a mother); the closest thing to a mother I’ve ever had. We started talking about faith after awhile. I went to her Easter dance performance at her church and I can say without a doubt that it changed my life. Three days after the performance I spent almost three hours with her talking about all my questions about Christianity. That was April 18th, the day I was saved.
I am so in awe of how God has made all of these events come together to shape me and my walk in life, to lead me to my Savior, to Him, to my Redeemer; my everything. God is always faithful, even when you think He has forgotten about you.
I’m glad it was in God’s plan for me to go to camp this weekend, it has changed me in ways I could never have dreamt it would. Praise the Lord!
Whew, long..but a realllly great thing to share
-Kayla
I went to my Campus Christian Fellowship’s “Fall Camp” this weekend. I went with my “Core” which is what we call Bible study/small groups at my college. I am SO glad I went. I was nervous because I don’t really know a lot of people in CCF except for my core girls. I also am a new Christian so I was feeling a little intimidated that most everyone was raised Christian or had been for a long time.
The speaker at the camp was Jim Houston and his wife Rita. Jim studied with C.S. Lewis at Oxford (right?) and they had a great friendship. They’re in their 80’s now and very adorable and witty. They’ve been married for fifty years!!! They are both so wise and it was a once in a lifetime chance to learn from them.
The first night there was the first “session” which is where we go to the gigantic gym/huge building that has basket ball nets, a rock climbing wall, a stage with lots of pews set up around it and just TONS of space which makes it very cold. The sessions all start out with worship and then Jim would teach us and then we’d worship again. There were four sessions, one Friday, two Saturday, and one Sunday.
Our Core was in a cabin together and it was so great to bond with the other girls. Not everyone came, but most of us were there. I really got to know the girls better, especially when we were talking after the sessions. We spent so much time together, it was really great. Each of us is very unique and we all have such love for Christ, I adore seeing that. I really bonded with E and A (haha, I'm not gonna say their names, just in case), my Core leaders and the Core girls in general.
Each session made me feel stronger and stronger in Christ. Jim reflected often on how you don’t live for you, you live for the Other. I really liked that. He has such an eloquent way of expressing himself. I love his Scottish accent too, his wife is British so together it’s like you just want to run up and hug them. E and I wanted to, but we never did. Jim and Rita call themselves CCF’s “Spiritual Grandparents” and it is SO adorable!!
After the first session on Saturday we met in our cabin as a Core to discuss it and use the questions they had on the projection as like…a guide for our topic. We ended up talking about how Satan influences our lives in ways that we tell people things. I had been feeling like I really wanted to share a secret with the girls, but it was like Satan was saying not to because it’s not important. It’s in the past and it’s okay now so I don’t need to share, that’s what I was hearing, but it was of Satan. I sort of described that to the girls and we kept talking on and on but the whole time I just wanted to shout out my secret!
On Saturday I also told my testimony to a couple girls in my Core which plays a part later in the day
The Saturday night session was by far my favorite. The first part of worship was really amazing, how open I was…I could feel the Holy Spirit so much! Then Jim talked about how we are free, but actually how most of us aren’t free at all. It really dawned on me how much I never realized that. It was SUCH a great lesson! He encouraged us to tell others our shamefulness because others are made in the image of God too and can help. Then we broke into our Cores and talked about the lesson. It was realllllly great! I love how we go off on tangents but that they’re thoughtful, not pointless.
Then we had worship again and it was like no worshiping I’ve done before. It was…amazing. People were going down in the front and praying and laying hands on others and it was just so wonderful to see. E was sitting next to me and I SO wanted to lean over and ask her if I could talk with her and A tonight, because I had something I really felt like God wanted me to get out. She got up to go pray with a girl who was sitting in the front so I was just worshiping instead. I was standing and MOVING which is something I don’t usually do yet and I had my eyes closed and it was just incredible. People were coming up to the microphone praying and saying things like “tell people the things that burden you” and it was like God was speaking in them to me, telling me that I really should let it out, let my secret out.
I worshiped and worshiped and worshiped! It was just SO amazing. I was filled with the Spirit, completely and it was…indescribable. The service ended and I turned around to A and asked her if I could talk with her and E, and she said yeah of course and that she’d go find her. We went over to the rock climbing wall area, because no one was there and it was roped off. There were pews all around and I sat down and they were on either side of me and I just…let my secret out. I trusted God that it would be understandable because I had no clue how to say it. I’ve only ever said it out loud to three other people. I told them that I was raped for six years. I told them that it was when I was 6 and I just…let it out. A was rubbing my back and E had her hand on my shoulder, it was so comforting. I told them and I felt free, just like Dr. Houston said. I hugged them both a lot and I leaned into A's shoulder and tears started coming and streaming down my face, something I haven’t done in public since before I can remember. They were hugging me and rubbing my back and it was just...like THAT is love, you know? That's how Christ made us, to love others like that.
By that time three guitar players and about 5 girls had come over about 10 feet in front of us and were playing worship music. I was smiling so much, I was so light…I had no burden. Eventually A left and E and I stayed on the pew.
We talked about so many things; my mother, my childhood, my future, the “crap” which I call the rape years, just…everything. We spent almost two hours just talking and talking. She told me that my testimony was inspiring, that it makes her happy and just so many great things that I never hear about myself. We hugged and she shared so much wisdom with me. Someday I will tell my story to others, hopefully soon...just not today.
I am so grateful for E and A. I’m so glad that God led me to them, to my college which I never planned on going to in the first place.
I’m thankful for the “crap” because it has led to me being saved. I blocked that hurt part of my life out, but about two years ago I had to stop doing pointe (it’s ballet stuff) and it broke my heart, my first broken heart. I talked to my ballet teacher about it a lot, we talked lots and lots. Suddenly the “crap” memories dawned on me and I knew I had to tell someone; so I told her. She was the most incredible about it, she loved me more and didn’t judge and she just comforted me so much. We talked more than ever and she would hug me often. Eventually she became my “other mother” (I don’t have a mother); the closest thing to a mother I’ve ever had. We started talking about faith after awhile. I went to her Easter dance performance at her church and I can say without a doubt that it changed my life. Three days after the performance I spent almost three hours with her talking about all my questions about Christianity. That was April 18th, the day I was saved.
I am so in awe of how God has made all of these events come together to shape me and my walk in life, to lead me to my Savior, to Him, to my Redeemer; my everything. God is always faithful, even when you think He has forgotten about you.
I’m glad it was in God’s plan for me to go to camp this weekend, it has changed me in ways I could never have dreamt it would. Praise the Lord!
Whew, long..but a realllly great thing to share
-Kayla
