Faith Conflicts

[Antoninus Verus]

Im asking for a friend of mine too stubborn to ask for help. My friend is an agnostic (Bad experiences with religion) and very dedicated. Her boyfriend is a Christian, very very devout and attached to his religion. They both love eachother very much, but they disagree on religion to a point where it turns into a fight. She loves him enough to want to convert for him, but past bad experiences keep her from going through with it.

Other than thier religious conflicts they make a splendid couple. Ive suggested having them both stay away from religion in conversation and dating life, but it always comes around. He patterns his behavior after his religion, she doesnt believe in God or sin so she has no reason to follow those same rules and it always brings up conflict.

What do you think?

 

[LiberatedChick]

I think this is exactly why the bible says this...

14Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

God realised that such relationships would have more difficulties and so told us not to enter into them. I married a non-believer just before re-accepting Christ back into my life and hence I'm in an unequally yoked marriage. I do not have the troubles that your friend has though because we don't tend to discuss religion at all. If my husband asks a question I will answer but I don't try to convert him through words and I don't bring up discussions about it otherwise because the bible also says this...

1Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

I believe that actions speak louder than words and so the Christian partner, whether the man or the woman, should show their Christianity through actions and limit discussion to just answering any questions. The unsaved partner should understand that for the saved partner God will always come first..or at least He should. So nagging or complaining when the saved partner goes to church, takes time out to pray will not help. Mocking or bashing the saved persons beliefs because they deem them to be flawed or wrong is also unhelpful and will just create conflict rather than change someones way of thinking. I'm not saying she does any of these things just stating that they won't help the situation.

You say that she wants to convert for him. She should really want to convert for her. Only she can make the decision to convert and she should not do it for any other reason than because she believes in Jesus. She has to accept Jesus into her heart and it has to be her decision and her choice made because she believes. Faith formed because you feel pressured to believe or because you have another motive besides accepting Jesus will probably not stay strong.

 

[TruthSetsYouFree]

Im asking for a friend of mine too stubborn to ask for help. My friend is an agnostic (Bad experiences with religion) and very dedicated. Her boyfriend is a Christian, very very devout and attached to his religion. They both love eachother very much, but they disagree on religion to a point where it turns into a fight. She loves him enough to want to convert for him, but past bad experiences keep her from going through with it.

Other than thier religious conflicts they make a splendid couple. Ive suggested having them both stay away from religion in conversation and dating life, but it always comes around. He patterns his behavior after his religion, she doesnt believe in God or sin so she has no reason to follow those same rules and it always brings up conflict.

What do you think?

Hi there,

There are two things that come to mind. One is that we aren't to be unequally yoked (2 Cor 6:14). Another thing that comes to mind is that I believe it would be best if she accepted Christ according to her own free will, not for any other reason. We can't make a person 'believe,' that's something they must believe in their own heart. What I guess I'm trying to say, is that the one and only reason I believe a person can come to Jesus, is when they do it on their own free will and belief; otherwise, you could get a whole city saved by giving everybody $20 to repeat the sinners prayer.

If she doesn't convert on her own, I would not recommend them getting married. Because the enemy already has an edge on her, and he would likely use it against their marriage (cause tension, arguments, etc.) sometime in the future, and could cause a lot of problems that they don't see right now. I believe there's a good reason why the Bible tells us not to marry unbelievers. Marriage is a serious thing, and Jesus speaks out against divorce, so I wouldn't rush into anything that doesn't line up with God's Word.

In Christ,
Bobby

 

[NajaHaji]

What is she doing with him? She is just going to get frustrated. It's not going to work. One or the other is going to have to give in if the conversations keep going the way they do.

 

[Sketcher]

It's been said, she shouldn't convert for him. She should convert because she knows she has sin in her life and needs Jesus' forgiveness. That's the only kind of conversion that will take.

 

[carmi]

Im asking for a friend of mine too stubborn to ask for help. My friend is an agnostic (Bad experiences with religion) and very dedicated. Her boyfriend is a Christian, very very devout and attached to his religion. They both love eachother very much, but they disagree on religion to a point where it turns into a fight. She loves him enough to want to convert for him, but past bad experiences keep her from going through with it.

If she converts for him, that would be conversion on the outside only. On the inside she would still be unconverted and their conflicts would continue. They would still be speaking two different "languages".

It might even get worse, if he thinks she is truly converted (meaning that she is a believer) and would feel deceived.

 

[Antoninus Verus]

The only real inner conflict she has about religion is the past bad experiences. But, Ill relay to her what you guys said, see what she says

 

[carmi]

The only real inner conflict she has about religion is the past bad experiences. But, Ill relay to her what you guys said, see what she says

Converting means to me becoming a believer.

I have had bad experiences with some fellow-believers and I have to admit to some I am a bad experience myself. Having disagreements and bad experiences with church members, other Christians made me stay away from them, from church, looking for another church or deciding to just stay by myself ... in any way it did not affect my belief in God. I did not get unconverted in any of my past experiences.

There are times, I remember, when I was hesitant to try a new church because of past experiences. But there was no inner conflict with regards to God and my belief in Him.

Converting does not mean that you get along fine with others and that you never have any bad experiences. Does she believe in God. If she does not believe in God, then that's causing a conflict in her relationship with a man who believes in God. Whether one of them has good experiences and the other bad experiences does not present much of a conflict.

 

[TheMainException]

I have always thought about this and the near fact that it brings up conflicts like these. Even if it only comes up later in life, I think that if they are having problems like this...it is much better for everyone that may be involved now or eventually if they do not continue like this.

 

[Antoninus Verus]

I have always thought about this and the near fact that it brings up conflicts like these. Even if it only comes up later in life, I think that if they are having problems like this...it is much better for everyone that may be involved now or eventually if they do not continue like this.

I told her basically the same thing that LA suggested, but theyre both very comitted to eachother. She gave me a big long speech on how much they loved eachother, which was 100% true, they are both very much in love. But the point of her whole speech was "We will make this work or die trying".

 

[perfection]

14Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

Which i will reply with.

15The voice spoke to him a second time, “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.”

Even the heathens are children of God, wether they believe or not makes no difference. Everyone has to volentarely choose for God themselves. No one likes it to get a religion shuffled in their shoes when they don't want too. So it is of best advice to just promote it, and give it time to let Jesus come into her heart. Meanwhile you just have to give her one positive religious sign after another, remember she only had horrible experiences. And it's up to her bf if he likes to little by little insert and pass some faith over to her. So she can grow with the flow. Make sure he send some love and loving acts of religion in which God can comfort her, and him to try to make up with good mental religious issues for the horrible experiences she had.