Are many of you married couples are on Facebook? AND... if you are... have you ever had any negative experiences? I'm asking because... I just got on like a month ago & my husband, deep down rather that I didn't, but I did. Our marriage has been through the ringer & for some reason people are sooo interested in our lives... well.. my husband thought by me being on Facebook, someone would one day bring up something about our past..like 3 yrs. ago... WELL... sure enough someone did.... So I'm deleting my page, but I'm a stay-at-home-mom & it's like my social outlet... I do work one day a week, just to get out. My husband would really prefer me not be on anyway.. and he said that I should maybe find playdates for my daughter, so we can get out! Ultimately.. it's about protecting my marriage...at ALL cost!!! I was just wondering what some of you thought about the situation & your experiences with Facebook. Thanks & God Bless
-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
-
CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
Facebook... Do or Don't ?!?!
- Thread starter ILUVMYHUBBS
- Start date
Hmm,we haven't joined, but we, mainly I, was thinking about it. i was thinking about a joint page, so that we both know everything that was going in and out. Could you PM me with a little more info about what was so negative if you don't want it in public. But only if you feel comfortable.
Upvote
0
Cright
Veteran
- Apr 18, 2004
- 1,855
- 141
- 47
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Republican
My husband and I each have a page (so do our pastor and his wife too.. along with many others from our church family).
John and I know each others passwords and check anytime we wish. With that said... I rarely if ever do. We also have each others email passwords. Full accountability. We've not had bad experiences other than some "friends" posting status with cursing in them... we usually either "hide" those friends status or delete them all together. For us this is a great way to share the life of our kids with our family and friends that live far away. They get to see pictures of park outings, birthdays and other fun events all within a couple days or less of them happening.
It's also great for social interaction for this stay at home mom. I love that so many of my church family is on there and we can all update each other on happenings. It actually has helped me plan many past play dates with other mom's of little ones.
However, if this hurt my my marriage in any way... I'd delete it and not look back. My marriage will always be my first priority on earth!
John and I know each others passwords and check anytime we wish. With that said... I rarely if ever do. We also have each others email passwords. Full accountability. We've not had bad experiences other than some "friends" posting status with cursing in them... we usually either "hide" those friends status or delete them all together. For us this is a great way to share the life of our kids with our family and friends that live far away. They get to see pictures of park outings, birthdays and other fun events all within a couple days or less of them happening.
It's also great for social interaction for this stay at home mom. I love that so many of my church family is on there and we can all update each other on happenings. It actually has helped me plan many past play dates with other mom's of little ones.
However, if this hurt my my marriage in any way... I'd delete it and not look back. My marriage will always be my first priority on earth!
Upvote
0
Macx
Well-Known Member
- Aug 7, 2007
- 5,544
- 412
- Faith
- Anglican
- Marital Status
- Private
- Politics
- US-Libertarian
Well, Idon't know what sort of ringer ya'll were through, but I suppose that would make a diference.
I understand Facebook as a social outlet, I use it that way too. It has been cool to get in touch with old High School friends, seminary friends . .. wish I could find more of my college friends. It is good stuff and it has even helped with my political activity. I don't know of anything to be nervous about, my wife isn't nervous either .. . does your husband have an articulateable reason to not want you talking with folks online? If you ask him why he feels he'd perfer you weren't, what would be his answer?
I understand Facebook as a social outlet, I use it that way too. It has been cool to get in touch with old High School friends, seminary friends . .. wish I could find more of my college friends. It is good stuff and it has even helped with my political activity. I don't know of anything to be nervous about, my wife isn't nervous either .. . does your husband have an articulateable reason to not want you talking with folks online? If you ask him why he feels he'd perfer you weren't, what would be his answer?
Upvote
0
SmileAndAHandshake
Senior Veteran
Are many of you married couples are on Facebook?
Me.
AND... if you are... have you ever had any negative experiences?
Not really.
Some people have drudged up my past, but never my husband's. I just deal with it as it comes. Your husband sounds quite insecure about whatever it is in his past, that's not really your problem, but overall I don't see why people on your facebook would ever bring up anything about your husband's past.
Just don't talk about him. *shrugs*
Me.
AND... if you are... have you ever had any negative experiences?
Not really.
Some people have drudged up my past, but never my husband's. I just deal with it as it comes. Your husband sounds quite insecure about whatever it is in his past, that's not really your problem, but overall I don't see why people on your facebook would ever bring up anything about your husband's past.
Just don't talk about him. *shrugs*
Upvote
0
WhiteWillow
Busy motherhood takes priority!
we both have accounts,we have fun. alot of mine are Navy personnel. :0) a great way to stay in touch with my fellow enlisted.
Upvote
0
dorig59
Senior Veteran
- May 18, 2008
- 4,931
- 1,406
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Republican
I'm on it for the sole reason of wanting to keep track of all my kids. Sometimes it's the only way I can get their attention! Or see what theyr'e up to, haha. My husband isn't interested in it, he works too many long hours and does a lot of driving to and from work, so he's tired when he gets home and doesn't really ever mess with the computer other than to look at the football scores and maybe read a little news.
I don't have old boyfriend types looking for me because none of them would know my married name, so it's all very safe for me. I don't even get on there too much, just once or twice a week to take a peek.
I don't have old boyfriend types looking for me because none of them would know my married name, so it's all very safe for me. I don't even get on there too much, just once or twice a week to take a peek.
Upvote
0
- Mar 4, 2005
- 5,189
- 273
- 37
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Seeker
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Others
My husband and I have them. Nothing about our pages, e-mails, comments, etc. is private though and we are extremely open about them. He doesn't really talk to anyone on his though and mostly uses it for lame apps, lol. I guess if we had something really bad that we didn't want to come up again or whatever, it would be different, but we don't. I even have an ex on there who I talk to fairly regularly.
Mostly though, I just use it to talk to people who are my friends who I don't get to see that often. A lot of friends moved away from high school and a lot of friends are inthe military.
Mostly though, I just use it to talk to people who are my friends who I don't get to see that often. A lot of friends moved away from high school and a lot of friends are inthe military.
Upvote
0
JohnDB
Regular Member
I have heard reports of some people connecting with ex sweethearts and subsequently getting involved in a physical relationship. It does make it easier to do.
Posts can be deleted...
But...I would worry about my husband's wishes more if I were you. For some reason this is a worry for him. Play dates with ladies from the church or other mothers who have similarly aged children are great play dates...I wouldn't quit the job. (they are too few these days to give up...and keep you somewhat liberated and involved with the community in which you live)
Dump facebook...connect with other ladies and moms...that is your best bet.
Posts can be deleted...
But...I would worry about my husband's wishes more if I were you. For some reason this is a worry for him. Play dates with ladies from the church or other mothers who have similarly aged children are great play dates...I wouldn't quit the job. (they are too few these days to give up...and keep you somewhat liberated and involved with the community in which you live)
Dump facebook...connect with other ladies and moms...that is your best bet.
Upvote
0
Cright
Veteran
- Apr 18, 2004
- 1,855
- 141
- 47
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Republican
I'm wondering if some of you are thinking of myspace vs. facebook. The reason I say so is because myspace allows questionable advertisements, pictures, porn stars can advertise, and it very much seems like pick-up joint to me. I can't stand it... it's awful. I've NEVER seen anything like that on facebook. Although I'm sure it "can" happen, it's not set up for it, and doesn't condone the offensive material that myspace does. I've also heard of affairs happening in churches or with pastors, or at the work place or at the local library... We MUST keep our guard up at all times, we can't quit everything because there *might* be a temptation...
unless.. again I agree, if it negatively effects your marriage. Then don't go... but facebook is not inherently bad!
unless.. again I agree, if it negatively effects your marriage. Then don't go... but facebook is not inherently bad!
Upvote
0
Macx
Well-Known Member
- Aug 7, 2007
- 5,544
- 412
- Faith
- Anglican
- Marital Status
- Private
- Politics
- US-Libertarian
Yup, there is a difference between Facebook and Myspace. Myspace is pretty scuzzy. Facebook seems easier to keep the content managed. While I have no doubt that one could use a social networking site to facilitate an affair, the coffee bar two blocks away could be used just as easily.
The nervous husband thing. . . . that seems like a sign there is unresolved stuff that should be talked through.
The nervous husband thing. . . . that seems like a sign there is unresolved stuff that should be talked through.
Upvote
0
Conservativation
Well-Known Member
The ads are irrelevant. Both sites to the active trolling, overlapped friends and all that, THATS where the issues are. You make a page and if you post and accept a few friends within a couple weeks everyone you ever knew is inviting you to befriend them and you didnt have to look.
Upvote
0
b.hopeful
Sharp as a razor, soft as a prayer
- Jul 17, 2009
- 2,057
- 303
- Faith
- United Ch. of Christ
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Others
My dh and I both have them...we are "friends" on there(meaning our pages are available to each other) and we joke back and forth. He got on there first and met a bunch of old high school friends and reconnected with some old military friends...he kept prodding me to get one.
I agree with the comment that it's like a coffee bar. Those that seek, shall find.
I agree with the comment that it's like a coffee bar. Those that seek, shall find.
Upvote
0
:o
Soulwings
A true original.
I'm on Facebook, and I got my husband into it. He's connected with some old friends from the state in which he used to live (1200 miles away from where he moved to be near to me), some family, etc. I've never had any negative experiences with it, and I think it's fine to use that as a social outlet if you can't get out of the house much. However, I do think that socialization IRL is the best thing. (I'm one to say that... haha... 
)
)
Upvote
0
snoochface
Meet the new boss -- same as the old boss.
- Jan 3, 2005
- 14,128
- 2,965
- 59
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Libertarian
My husband and I both have FB pages. I got mine first, then got him into it. We have many mutual friends and many individual friends - it's not a problem.
If you have trust in your relationship, if you have a healthy marriage, and if you are both mature individuals with integrity and the same values, things like this are rarely going to be an issue for you. If your marriage is not like that, then just about anything has the potential to be an issue. Running to 7-11 could be an issue.
Don't blame the venue when the problem is the participants.
If you have trust in your relationship, if you have a healthy marriage, and if you are both mature individuals with integrity and the same values, things like this are rarely going to be an issue for you. If your marriage is not like that, then just about anything has the potential to be an issue. Running to 7-11 could be an issue.
Don't blame the venue when the problem is the participants.
Upvote
0
snoochface
Meet the new boss -- same as the old boss.
- Jan 3, 2005
- 14,128
- 2,965
- 59
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Libertarian
My husband and I both have FB pages. I got mine first, then got him into it. We have many mutual friends and many individual friends - it's not a problem.
If you have trust in your relationship, if you have a healthy marriage, and if you are both mature individuals with integrity and the same values, things like this are rarely going to be an issue for you. If your marriage is not like that, then just about anything has the potential to be an issue. Running to 7-11 could be an issue.
Don't blame the venue when the problem is the participants.
If you have trust in your relationship, if you have a healthy marriage, and if you are both mature individuals with integrity and the same values, things like this are rarely going to be an issue for you. If your marriage is not like that, then just about anything has the potential to be an issue. Running to 7-11 could be an issue.
Don't blame the venue when the problem is the participants.
Upvote
0
poohgirl
It's Great to be a Championship FLORIDA GATOR!
I'm on Facebook and my hubby is not, he thinks it's best. My facebook or anything I do online period is left wide open for him to see. As far as Facebook I do nothing more than say hi, read what's up and play games. So, many farms so little time. lol
If facebook is a concern or a problem within a marriage best thing is to avoid it period. It's not worth it.
If facebook is a concern or a problem within a marriage best thing is to avoid it period. It's not worth it.
Upvote
0
Similar threads
