Eyes everywhere...

[youthwalk]

that's how i feel. like there are a hundred little eyes staring and blinking at me. sly, hidden, dark and whispering little eyes. i imagine that that statement must sound disturbing but it is how i feel. i'm not paranoid; i don't think they'll harm me...no i think they would but it's that i believe they can't harm me. they would if they could.

What's going on with me?

I'm an artist so I tend to express myself visually sometimes so don't let the weird cats disturb you. It's just that they captured the essence so well.

I may be put back on Paxil soon if my current state doesn't lift. i'd like that actually because paxil worked quite well for me before. i had a huge fight with my mother and sister last night and the bf and i are stuggling; he called this morning to say that he hopes we can work this through. nothing seems ok right now.

i sleep...all the time. i barely eat or i eat too much. i'm cranky, frustrated, i missed a period last month because exams had me stressed so now i feel like i've been PMSing for the last month ( the campus doctor doesn't want to induce it..."don't worry, just hold out, it's on it's way"), i can't concentrate...it's difficult to even be creative because i find no joy in that.

And of course the thing depression can't be without: I think everyone hates me....

 

[Eclecticsoul]

Hi there

Have you been diagnosed Bipolar? I'm just wondering because Paxil is an anti-depressant. Is that the only medication you're on? You may want to ask your doc about a mood stabilizer if your bipolar.

I'm very sorry that things are so confusing for you right now. I hope to hear more from you regarding your situation so that we can be more supportive and helpful. It really isn't good that your eating habits are irregular.

If you are bipolar, it is an illness that needs to be combatted from every direction. First of all you need the proper medication to balance out your poor brain chemistry that is causing you to feel and act the way you do. Which isn't always easy.... finding the right meds. Also you need to treat your spirit, pray and as hard as it can be sometimes, read God's word and realize by faith how deep His love is for you. So deep that you can learn to love yourself in spite of what tricks your mind plays on you. Soon enough you will find the right medication that will make this easier for you.

Also, you really do need to eat regularly, avoiding caffiene, alcohol and street drugs to the best of your ability. Also sugars and starchy foods, a good Omega 3-6-9 twice a day is very helpful! You don't need to eat large meals, but keep some veggie sticks and dips and fruits and cheese and sliced meats on crackers and you're safe to munch all day (Paxil is so bad for the munchies:o)

Exercise and sleep play a major role in controlling this illness as well. If you'r doc isn't giving you anything safe and non-narcotic for sleep then talk about that as an option. There are some good medications that will help you get a good night sleep and that can make all the difference in the world.
I take a small dose of Serequel and it works great for me.

Even if you feel like you can't get out of bed today. Do one thing! Take a walk around the block. Put on a CD and dance to 2 songs. Take a bike ride to the variety store in the next neighbourhood for a power drink or protien bar! Just one thing. Maybe tomorrow you can do two things. Make a list of things you would like to do and look at it each day, and just do one thing if you can.

I know how hard depression can be. As well as the confusion and craziness of hypomania or full blown mania.

Talk to us more. We would like to learn more about you so we can support you. We are here for you and so is the Lord.

Love~E Psalm139

 

[lemonflavor]

I'm praying for you. Please keep us updated and how the Paxil works with other stuff you're taking. The cats definitely won't hurt you.

 

[youthwalk]

Hi there

Have you been diagnosed Bipolar? I'm just wondering because Paxil is an anti-depressant. Is that the only medication you're on? You may want to ask your doc about a mood stabilizer if your bipolar.

I'm very sorry that things are so confusing for you right now. I hope to hear more from you regarding your situation so that we can be more supportive and helpful. It really isn't good that your eating habits are irregular.

If you are bipolar, it is an illness that needs to be combatted from every direction. First of all you need the proper medication to balance out your poor brain chemistry that is causing you to feel and act the way you do. Which isn't always easy.... finding the right meds. Also you need to treat your spirit, pray and as hard as it can be sometimes, read God's word and realize by faith how deep His love is for you. So deep that you can learn to love yourself in spite of what tricks your mind plays on you. Soon enough you will find the right medication that will make this easier for you.

Also, you really do need to eat regularly, avoiding caffiene, alcohol and street drugs to the best of your ability. Also sugars and starchy foods, a good Omega 3-6-9 twice a day is very helpful! You don't need to eat large meals, but keep some veggie sticks and dips and fruits and cheese and sliced meats on crackers and you're safe to munch all day (Paxil is so bad for the munchies:o)

Exercise and sleep play a major role in controlling this illness as well. If you'r doc isn't giving you anything safe and non-narcotic for sleep then talk about that as an option. There are some good medications that will help you get a good night sleep and that can make all the difference in the world.
I take a small dose of Serequel and it works great for me.

Even if you feel like you can't get out of bed today. Do one thing! Take a walk around the block. Put on a CD and dance to 2 songs. Take a bike ride to the variety store in the next neighbourhood for a power drink or protien bar! Just one thing. Maybe tomorrow you can do two things. Make a list of things you would like to do and look at it each day, and just do one thing if you can.

I know how hard depression can be. As well as the confusion and craziness of hypomania or full blown mania.

Talk to us more. We would like to learn more about you so we can support you. We are here for you and so is the Lord.

Love~E Psalm139

Hi E,

Yes I am diagnosed bipolar II. For about three years now. I've been on Lithium for almost 2. Worked well but recently I've found that it makes me more irritable so my pdoc decreased my dosage to 300mgs once per day instead of b/d. I was put on Paxil earlier last year after I had a crisis and I (miraculously I have to say) got out of that depression after about 6-8mths. My pdoc and I were really pleased with my progress since I seemed to be able to self motivate and fight my way out of the rut. Back to square one it seems now.

I must say thank you for the wonderful advice. It was greatly appreciated. I thought that something may have been off about my diet so that info really helps.

I feel a little better today. Got a stable job today. I start on Monday. I'm really thankful to God for His mercy to an ungrateful one like me. I really to try to live right and to live a life of worship which is usually ok but this swing left me feeling like there was nothing beneath me or around me.

Again thank you and Lemonflavor, your prayers are very much appreciated. God bless you too!

Brianna

 

[Eclecticsoul]

Hi Brianna,

Just checkin... how is the new job going? I hope you are doing well and just want ya to know you are in my prayers. Lord Bless you!!

Love~E

 

[youthwalk]

Hi E,

It's great! Really youthful and dynamic environment. Nice! Of course I have little apprehensions and doubts but I have to banish those because God put me here "for such a time as this" as my avatar says.

I went through a depressive/hyperemotional spell the week before I began and I'm just coming out of it. My period finally came so here's to sweet relief from PMS!

I've been getting excellent reports from my managers. So, so far so good.

Thank you for asking

God Bless you!

Brianna