Explaining PTSD to the Church When...

[Barzel]

I have avoided going to church in years past partly because I have PTSD. The reason I have PTSD is due in part to abuse I suffered at the church I grew up in. I am looking to go back to church and overcome my anxiety and fear, but I am concerned about how to explain my PTSD to others. It's not something I easily hide, and there are numerous triggers that could lead to unpredictable results. I am on medication, but I still have panic attacks that result in stomach problems.

Recently someone from the church I grew up in asked me why I wouldn't go back to that church. I decided to be honest with them and tell them it was because of the abuse. Now, I have received messages from others within the church asking what abuse I think I suffered, and why I'm trying to spread dissension.

It's enough to give me a panic attack just thinking about it.

 

[J0SHUA]

You should pray and talk to the pastor about it. It seems like a good opportunity for exposure if you can go with someone and sit in the back. Time and exposure in small steps helped me with triggers. I will pray for you.

 

[Englandlied]

I have avoided going to church in years past partly because I have PTSD. The reason I have PTSD is due in part to abuse I suffered at the church I grew up in. I am looking to go back to church and overcome my anxiety and fear, but I am concerned about how to explain my PTSD to others. It's not something I easily hide, and there are numerous triggers that could lead to unpredictable results. I am on medication, but I still have panic attacks that result in stomach problems.

That's awful! Abuse of any kind from the church is a such a devastating prospect to me, I can't even imagine the anguish you're going through.

Recently someone from the church I grew up in asked me why I wouldn't go back to that church. I decided to be honest with them and tell them it was because of the abuse. Now, I have received messages from others within the church asking what abuse I think I suffered, and why I'm trying to spread dissension.

Ignore them. You don't have to explain anything to them, especially when they deny you compassion.

It's enough to give me a panic attack just thinking about it.

I wish I was there to hug you right now.

 

[PetLuv]

Perhaps meet with the minister of the church you are thinking of attending and explain your situation.. See how he responds to you first of all, and then see if maybe they have someone who would be willing to be a sort of "mentor" to you while you get your feet back under you.

 

[Cherished One]

I have avoided going to church in years past partly because I have PTSD. The reason I have PTSD is due in part to abuse I suffered at the church I grew up in. I am looking to go back to church and overcome my anxiety and fear, but I am concerned about how to explain my PTSD to others. It's not something I easily hide, and there are numerous triggers that could lead to unpredictable results. I am on medication, but I still have panic attacks that result in stomach problems.

Recently someone from the church I grew up in asked me why I wouldn't go back to that church. I decided to be honest with them and tell them it was because of the abuse. Now, I have received messages from others within the church asking what abuse I think I suffered, and why I'm trying to spread dissension.

It's enough to give me a panic attack just thinking about it.

I know what you are talking about here because I have experienced the same thing, and I to chose to leave. Going back to a Toxic Church will only cause you further hurt and harm, and what these people are saying to you is the 'Proof in the Pudding'. I have left for this very reason, it is not healthy for me. No form of abuse, is God's will, this is blatant spiritual abuse!

What those people are saying to you is 'The Answer' to your question. You do not have to go back there, find a safer place to go where there is real agape love and grace.

 

[Barzel]

I started going to a church last Wednesday that I can sort of slink into the back without too many people noticing. I may find a small group within the church to be involved with later, but only after I've started to feel more comfortable with the church.

 

[Press On]

You're on track; just take your time. Pray to see if you feel led to talk to the pastor when you're ready.

Good advice on here. I have chemical imbalance depression and I know first hand that "Christians" can be the most mean spirited abusive people on the planet. Please use discernment and protect yourself. Godspeed brother!

 

[Gracybelle]

Unfortunately, that seems to be the reaction of many people, question your honesty, motive and behavior. Why we got PTSD - that's different for each person. What we share are these cruel accusations, that we were deserving, or "asking for it". I have gotten this from people in our neighborhood; that a Nurse, Detective and Psychologist, would say, "I was naive, careless, or that I have learned my lesson," was pure evil.
I'm on meds, they can take the edge off, but PTSD is unpredictable. God, supportive people (like here), friends/family, pets and a new church - are our comforters. We want to be honest, but victim blaming (we find out) is an epidemic.
In new situations (like church), I try to have someone I trust with me - who knows we'll leave immediately - if I say so. It's weird - but it beats a melt down in public. I pray God will heal you and bless you with amazing people you can rely on. PTSD Gracy

 

[parsley]

Even though the thread started last summer, it seems a worthwhile one. We can't deny that a lot of people leave churches because of the things other members and leaders have said to them, and the way they've been treated.

People are competitive by nature, and each person has their own tricks for feeling a notch higher than the other person. This should not be played out in church, but sadly it is.

In fact, the church venue gives a defined list of expectations that people can "compete" under -- making it even more tempting to appear better and higher and more competent. Jesus confronted religious leaders for using religious rules to keep others under their thumbs. But we tend to read those verses as though there are evil bad-guys out there, and forget we are the ones participating in the oppression.

I don't know if there's a solution for it, let alone an easy one. Finding support means finding people, and finding people means subjecting yourself to possible criticism. One never knows if a source of support is really a source of critique, until they walk into the situation.

But at least you can give yourself some protection by checking things out in advance. Research a group before immersing yourself. Listen to sermons online and then decide what else you want to get out of a social experience. Keep a focus -- like, "today I want to find someone to go hiking with." Or to talk about the book you just read. Or determine to find out what others need prayer for. Narrow the randomness.

Be the one who sets the tone, and steers the conversations. Other people will steer in a way you don't want it to go, unless you grab the wheel first.

I gained a great insight from a friend who is ADHD, and tends to talk a lot. They said that when others aren't talking much, they tend to get nervous and fill in the gaps with chatter. Sometimes when I am in that situation I feel stuck and decide not to talk more, since they aren't listening; but with that insight I realized they weren't listening bc I wasn't talking enough to give them structure.

There's a lot of healing that needs to be done after people demean each other or act generally as opponents, under a premise of support. I hope you find some tactics to make these experiences more worthwhile overall.