Exhibitionism

[CLansfordA]

I've struggled in the past with showing my naked body to women that I don't know, either in real life or online. I have gone out in the middle of the night under streetlights, taken my clothes off, and masturbated right next to houses. In these times, I would look for a woman sitting next to her window, either in the living room or kitchen, and I would honk my car horn until she looked out the window...then I would touch naked as she watched. I'm not sure if these women would watch out of mere shock or if they were actually turned on by it. At the time, I wanted them to be turned on by it. That was why I did it.

I have also taken nude photographs of myself masturbating (with my face edited out) and posted them online in pornographic forums so that women could see them. Again, I wanted women to be turned on by this.

I haven't done these ACTIONS in a while, but my thoughts sometimes still are tempted. I know it's wrong and I know it's some kind of perversion, but I still have temptations from time to time. I'm not even sure why I have them. I was never sexually abused as a child, I was never ashamed about sex, I'm not gay, and I'm married. So why have I done these things, and why do I still feel tempted?

Has anyone else--male or female--struggled with this?

 

[tapero]

bumping to top of forum

 

[Canuk]

Did you read the advise that I gave you in the men's forum when you asked this question?

Habitually acting out in this way has deep roots...it's not something you just start doing. You need to figure out what you are REALLY looking for when you start feeling the urge to take these actions. Any Christian counselors specializing in sexual dysfunction in your area? It might be time to see someone.

 

[Johnnz]

You need to get some professional help before you end up getting arrested. That will have lifelong consequences.

John
NZ

 

[Ceridwen]

Have you thought about going to the police to confess your crimes to them? Why would you wish to make women aroused by this? Do you want to do them some good? Have you been to therapy? Have you ever been stopped by the police or arrested? Have you ever had to run away from law enforcement?

 

[CLansfordA]

That's one reason why I stopped any public exhibitionism out in the open. After I masturbated naked in the street in front of those houses that time, I drove home and a cop car turned onto the road I just came out of. He was obviously coming for me. It was close. I realized it was stupid afterwards and I haven't done any public things since.

However, I had been continuing online for a while. I would find women who seemed interested in porn, etc, and I would send them nude photos of myself. I still, to this day, feel tempted in this area.

 

[Saucy]

well...you've quit doing the public thing due to fear of getting caught and going to jail. So, what about making yourself accountable to your wife. Is she okay with you posting naking pictures of yourself online? I don't know her, but I don't think she would be. There are ways to end the internet stuff...find an accountable friend who's willing to help you end this and not judge you. Put internet security things on your computer so that you cannot access certain sites without a password, but only your friend has the password. Then you can't access those sites. Brother, you really need to do whatever you can to get away from this because it can ruin your marriage and your life if you get caught. All it takes is for one of the women who called the police to drive by your house and see where you life and recognize you and send the cops there. You need to stop and do WHATEVER it takes! God Bless you in your efforts!

 

[CLansfordA]

I'm still struggling with these thoughts, but I don't actually do it anymore.

I was wondering...what would a woman actually think if she saw a man exposing himself in public and masturbating? Would she be disgusted, or turned on? I was doing mostly because I wanted to turn women on. I know it's wrong but that's what I wanted.

 

[sphsjags]

Remove yourself from the situations.
Ex.) Don't be online unless your wife is in the room with you (as long as she disapproves, or would disapprove).
You said you don't do anything in public anymore, that's good. I agree that it has deep roots, to something in your past or subconcious present. I would maybe suggest professional help, too.

 

[Chococat]

In answer to your last question a young man exposed himself to me about 18 months ago and it really traumatised me. I screamed and had to sit for at least 15 minutes when I got into my house silently in order to pull myself together. For several weeks I was afraid when coming in and out of my home. I was also very angry and felt like I'd been violated. Even now I am a bit nervous when I open my front door at night. Thankfully God has healed me of most of the trauma and I have forgiven the young man who did this but I can assure you it is a horrible experience for any woman to have a strange man expose himself to her. I am not saying this to make you feel bad or to judge you. In fact I admire your honesty and courage in opening up to us all here about your struggle. IMO you need Christian counselling and maybe even deliverance from demonic oppression. I'll certainly pray for you. You are my brother in Christ and I love you.