*snipped for space*
If both partners do not meet the major needs of the other then the chance of Divorce is high. Then it would not matter if he or she was right or wrong the family would be fractured. I think it much better to concentrate on what each partner can do to prevent getting a divorce than get into a speculation debate as to which sex is wrong.
I think you raised excellent points. I only want to observe that whether he or she is creating the tension between them, in neither case is it the *entire gender* at fault. And it's probably both of them, because I've learned that it's usually not the fault of only one or only the other. Most of the time, they both contribute.
I say that because in another discussion at another site, the topic was nagging. Several women voiced the frustration that they wouldn't feel they had to nag, if their husbands would only follow through on what they said they were going to do. This led to a man I now believe to be what's called an "MRM troll" (Men's Rights Movement) to say in response, "You hear that, men? Our only function in life is to do what the women tell us to do. That's all we're good for." I pointed out that it isn't a matter of what the women told them to do; it's what they themselves already said they were going to do, which prompted from him a very sarcastic, "Oh, of course. How silly of me. I should have remembered it's always the man's fault. The woman is never the problem." Which, of course, is a strawman argument, because everybody except that MRM troll was talking about their own experiences, and he was the only one trying to make it about "always" and "never."
And although nobody has, I could just HEAR the same thing being said here, when we speculate (as is the correct term) such things as maybe he's selfish in bed, or he's drunk. If there were MRM trolls in this thread, they would be reacting the same way, accusing the speculating women of saying, "It has to be the man's fault. It's never the woman's." And nobody said that. We're all just kicking around a bunch of "maybe," based on our own experiences. I, for one, know exactly how it is when he's both drunk and selfish in bed, although it would be indelicate of me to elaborate.
Except on 6-16 she was the drunk one.
Point. I had some neighbors once, a married couple. Both of them were raging alcoholics, constantly drunk, loud, foul-mouthed, and obnoxious to about an equal degree. I didn't know whether it was funny or sad, the irony of it, when one of them would accuse the other of being "nothing but a blankety-blank drunk!"