Exams and depression

[Judy02]

Ok. There's quite a lot of new people here so I might have to explain it all again:

But basically, I got depressed at uni, my academic performance became a disaster. I got uber stressed, then depressed and then couldn't cope. My stress/worry about doing well, seemed to become counter productive where I felt I couldn't work.

Basically, I should have graduated July 2006.

I've had some of my exams deferred. All I have to do now is 1 essay and 2 exams then I'm done and graduated. I've had a year to prepare for this. They are coming up in may...and now as the time is edging closer, I feel myself getting stressed.

I don't know...I've been in education since I was 5, so its been non stop. And I've been a stresshead with exams and stuff, since they started to matter when I was around 15/16. But I still seemed to cope even when I stressed.


I don't know if I'm just running out of steam now, and stress is taking its toll on me, causing me to be depressed about work, therefore causing me to struggle because my mind is consumed with anxiety and sadness as a result of stress. Maybe we can only keep up this stressful state of mind for so long.

But I've been very good with grades, and academicness for years now. Only started falling at uni...

But I am so close to finishing (just passing would be an amazing achievement) it seems a shame to give up now! And after 4 years of time and money being spent on this, I'd like to have something to show for it, even if it is the lowest grade in the year.

But, if some are able, please please pray for me to be able to handle myself better, and that God would give me help, and peace and a calm mind whilst studying for this. I really want and need his peace right now, it just seems so hard to get it!

I will pray too, but I dunno I guess sometimes its hard to focus when u feel so worried and down too.

I understand others are suffering on here, and its not easy to praybut sometimes u get nice people who pop in to help others too and pray. Please can 1 or 2 remember me in their prayers if they are able.

I want to pass so badly, more than anything! I'll feel I wasted my life if I don't and my family will be so disappointed.

If anyone has any advice, or has struggled with a similar thing, I'd love to hear any advice, but no problem if you don't.

I've been a lot better depression wise over the past year, which feels amazing after 2 years of it being intense, suicidal thoughts etc.

But academic stress really does seem to be the worst for bringing it back lately...

 

[blankgirl]

hello judy! this is blankgirl. my my. i find so many similarities in our sufferings. let me share with u wat im experiencing now. im into anxiety. a lot of anxiety. i am on antidepressants. i hav social phobia. i was into self injury before. i also struggle with disordered eating. i hav palpitations. i was like u, high achiever before, only that the past few yrs ive been so stressed that i cant do well anymore. im gonna face my exams just like u. in may i have my A levels. and i m stressing my butt off as well. my sis, this pain that we share seems so unbearable. we tend not to see a way out of it. but there is Jesus. He suffered so much didnt he. not just physical suffering. He had to bear so much stress. Firstly, He had a mission: to save the world. hence, he had to go all the way, hanging on the cross. that is already very stressful. Secondly, He had to face a lot of rejection. even His brothers scoffed at Him. remember John 7:2-5? even His earthly family had problems with Him. Finally, there was that very painful moment when He told God to take away the cup of suffering. so Jesus is always the answer my sister. meanwhile, please PM me if u want. i wud love to keep in touch with u. it ll be great to hav a fren who actually knows what ure going thru. its up to u though. God bless u.

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

I've also battled with depression and trying to study at the same time and I know how difficult it is. My depression is better now though so hopefully this year will be easier for me. I can understand in a small way how difficult it is for you.
I try to remember that nothing is impossible with God, if you just ask Him to help you learn and give you peace He can help you pass.
Another quote that I like is 'Believe you can or believe you can't, either way you;re right.' And its true, as soon as you start doubting yourself, you'll find it much more difficult to concentrate. Believe that you will pass because I know you can and you will!
All the best! Let us know how you do.

 

[Judy02]

Thanks for the replies you two!

I'm a bit stressed right now. I have a job, but only work 20 hours a week (4 hours a day, 5 days a week).

I'm a bit worried about whether I'm messing up my degree by working. Even just after working 4 hours I seem tired for a few hours after work.

I only have 2 exams and an essay to do but yeah. And I've got a max of 4 weeks holiday I can take when I get nearer to the time.

But you wouldn't believe the amount of reading I have to do, and its quite complex, technical and hard to get your head around at first (takes a bit of time).

I basically need some prayer and advice, about whether its a good idea.

Annoying thing is, I moved back in with my parents in the summer last year. And my mum can be quite controlling and opinionated about my decisions. She might sometimes be trying to help, but she can be so annoying!! She thinks I should be able to do it.

I hear of some people who can manage working loads, and studying alongside it. So I dunno what's best to do.

Grr this sounds so petty, but controlling parents can be annoying lol.

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

Hi Judy

Some people learn better than others and can cope with more work, it doesn't mean they're better or cleverer then you.
I look at how badly I did last year then compare myself to other people who took more subjects, work longer hours and still passed and I feel stupid but there's no reason to, everybody's different.
Do you have to work, if you find you don't study enough then stop working if you can. Its normal to feel tired after working no matter how long you work for. You have to take a break after work before trying to study otherwise nothing will go in.