Examples of Submisive Wives

[McScribe]

Sometimes I think submission would be something like 'wife is as devoted to husband as she is to other stuff'. Like she feels obligated to sound cheerful and happy with total strangers and yet can't bring herself out of a mood that is really just a mood to express any pleasure at being with the man she loves. That's hard on a guy--when it goes on for a while you start to wonder if she's hiding something from you or if she's really unhappy with you.

 

[Romanseight2005]

Sometimes I think submission would be something like 'wife is as devoted to husband as she is to other stuff'. Like she feels obligated to sound cheerful and happy with total strangers and yet can't bring herself out of a mood that is really just a mood to express any pleasure at being with the man she loves. That's hard on a guy--when it goes on for a while you start to wonder if she's hiding something from you or if she's really unhappy with you.

Again, this doesn't fall under submission to me, but rather treating him with kindness. Which I also think we must do. It certainly is wrong to treat strangers better than your spouse, as if the strangers are nore important to you.

 

[McScribe]

Submission to me is more about showing up and being part of the team than it is part of bowing down and doing what you're told.

 

[JohnDB]

John,
I don't even consider it submission to be patient with him. That is just being patient. Not getting angry over socks on the floor, etc. Those things would not even bother me, and if he needs time to chill, or whatever, the same is true. I think submission in the sense of self sacrifice, is something that both partners do for each other. But blind submission in the form of, watch porn with me baby, go steal a pack of cigarettes for me baby, Lie to the church and tell them that we already gave, etc. must not be blindly submitted to. Here is another scenario. I believe in total honesty, but my boss thinks it's ok to lie a little here and there. For instance, she wants me to use her card and buy things for her at the supplies store for our work. That in itself is not a problem, however, the supply store will often check ID's, so using someone else's card is wrong. Even though I am doing this for her, with her permission, I would have to lie and say I was her, but I wouldn't have her ID. These kinds of things come up all of the time. Another one is, make 30 copies out of this book, but it breaks the copyright laws. I can't be honest and true and follow those directions, but many things like that are aksed of me continually. What is the right thing to do? This is a work situation, and not marriage, but we are certainly called to submit to our bosses, right?

I don't think I have ever heard of a husband asking a wife to do illegal stuff before. It certainly isn't something that ever crosses my mind as something OK to do. None of the guys I know would think of doing that either. Why on earth someone would guinea pig their wife in such a fashion is beyond me. That certainly isn't love.

And that is why your boss asks you to buy the company things on the company's charge card. Yes, the card is not issued to you. But it is the corporate account...and the things are not personal in nature. Most supply stores know this one way ahead of time...and don't care. The only one who might is some bean counter/self-righteous individual somewhere in the corporate ladder...your boss being the one in trouble and not so much you personally.

And as far as thirty copies of one page in a book...so long as everyone knows the book it came out of...the material isn't being used to raise money, sell stuff or generally directly financially profit off of it is legal. It is considered to be promotional of that book.

We quote people all the time without any issues thought of it. This is just that scenario. Now if she wanted you to photocopy the entire book and wanted everyone to read the whole book from those photocopies....that is another story. One page is a nothing...a whole book is something else.

The little office lie of "not in"...ok...you don't have to say that...you can always say that they are unavailable. Same thing but without the lie.


How about this as a prime example.
I have a rather intelligent son. His birth mother babies him left and right. He makes a worthless attempt with her watching him knowing that she will intervene and do it for him every time. The boy knows how to figure things out but simply knows he doesn't have to. It really eats at his self esteem but he is too young to know that.

I sent him out of the car to put gas into it. No real detailed instructions on how to do that were given to him by me. (he is 12) He began to have trouble getting the pump to pump as he had the nozzel too far into the tank. It kept shutting off and he was frustrated. I didn't intervene at all. I knew what the problem was but was planning on doing nothing.

His now ex stepmother blessed me out for not telling him how to do it with complete instructions. He did get the tank filled...after she intervened. He was on the verge of figuring it all out...but still failed to do so because of her intervention. So...the object lesson and purpose of the task was lost...again. GRRRRRRRR

Young boys need that sense of accomplishment of figuring stuff out and getting those tasks accomplished on their own. Just part of growing up and being a man. It isn't pretty to watch as a parent or as an adult. But it isn't about me telling him how to do it...it is about him having the self confidense that he can do something and figure out how to do it properly.

That is one of the reasons she is now an EX...complete lack of trust, respect, or submission. Those three all go together.

 

[Romanseight2005]

The balance between figuring things out on your own, and teaching them how to do it, (Not doing it for them) is sometimes a tough one, without cut and dried lines. I work in a public school, and the copies made would all be used for different students, and the laws surrounding it are clear. The teacher knows that she is breaking the law but wants me to carry it out. In these particular cases, the publisher has made it so that we have to buy one book per student, but for expense purposes, we buy one book and copy the pages. It is illegal. In the scenario of the supply store, it is the particular teacher who was given the card, not the company, so again it is illegal. In that instance, I might choose to buy the things with my own money. If however it was too expensive, I would have to decline. The husbands who ask their wives to do illegal things are many. Unfortunately I know too many people in those situations. Sometimes the thing asked to do isn't illegal, but just wrong. Now back to the situation with the son, those things need to be worked through with each other. You need to make an agreement about certain things. Sometimes he will be shown how to do something, but then he needs to do it on his own. Other situations where the stakes aren't as high,(an explosion, or something dies,etc.) he can be given time to figure it out by himself. Some give and take is needed here between the spouses. If the man demands to that all his way, it will not always be best for the child. I may be biased in this area, but after teaching kids for many years, I do have my knowledge based on experience, and certainly my opinions.

 

[JohnDB]

Where in the word do you teach?

The ghetto?

Bringing in unauthorized materials to teach children, Parents who try to get their spouses to perform illegal and immoral activities...

NO PLACE I WANT MY CHILD...

You definately need different surroundings.

I am talking about normal places and people and not the one you are working in.

 

[mkgal1]

Sometimes I think submission would be something like 'wife is as devoted to husband as she is to other stuff'. Like she feels obligated to sound cheerful and happy with total strangers and yet can't bring herself out of a mood that is really just a mood to express any pleasure at being with the man she loves. That's hard on a guy--when it goes on for a while you start to wonder if she's hiding something from you or if she's really unhappy with you.

Hmmm....that COULD be an example of submission or maybe not.

Marriage should be a place where we can be completely honest....if we are in a bad mood...we shouldn't have to keep it from our husbands...unless that is what God calls us to do for the time. We can't make a blanket statement and say that a wife should be just as cheerful and happy with her husband at all times...she can do it with strangers...she should be able to snap out of a bad mood for her husband then. We don't have an intimate relationship with those strangers...they don't need to know our moods, but we should be able to be ourselves around our husbands.

 

[Deliberatetourist]

I think the issue of submission has been well defined as that not of subordination. Placing a marriage above personal aspirations is the responsibility of both partners. As I've observed, women who do a Linda Blair every time someone mentions "submission" in a marital context are generally the ones whose spiritual and presonal lives are also a wreck because their issues with submission go far beyond that of the marriage. The root of it all is rebellion.