Ex girlfriend

[Warrior4TheLord]

I have had 3 back to back dreams the past few nights in which my ex girlfriend from almost 4 years appeared. A little background I was very young back 17-18 than and we were both sexually active, it was a very hard breakup for me, and eventually led me into a year long period of ecstasy use at raves. I am doing a lot better now and am walking with God every day. I have continued to have dreams about her ever since we broke up, I have always wondered why...Anyone know what they might mean

 

[StoneWater]

I have had 3 back to back dreams the past few nights in which my ex girlfriend from almost 4 years appeared. A little background I was very young back 17-18 than and we were both sexually active, it was a very hard breakup for me, and eventually led me into a year long period of ecstasy use at raves. I am doing a lot better now and am walking with God every day. I have continued to have dreams about her ever since we broke up, I have always wondered why...Anyone know what they might mean

When you divorce your wife, you are separating what God divided. When she sleeps with anyone else, you are forcing her to have adultery. When you sleep with anyone else - even if you get married - you are committing adultery and causing the woman you are sleeping with to commit adultery.

 

[Warrior4TheLord]

When you divorce your wife, you are separating what God divided. When she sleeps with anyone else, you are forcing her to have adultery. When you sleep with anyone else - even if you get married - you are committing adultery and causing the woman you are sleeping with to commit adultery.

thanks for the advice, i am aware of all of that, and have recently kicked bad habits, I am not married though, I'm 21 and am single. Blessed to have the opportunity so few have to develop a deep intimate relationship with God to prepare me for my wife one day

 

[All4HISglory]

I have had 3 back to back dreams the past few nights in which my ex girlfriend from almost 4 years appeared. A little background I was very young back 17-18 than and we were both sexually active, it was a very hard breakup for me, and eventually led me into a year long period of ecstasy use at raves. I am doing a lot better now and am walking with God every day. I have continued to have dreams about her ever since we broke up, I have always wondered why...Anyone know what they might mean

Not sure. It's possible you are healing correctly now with the love and knowledge of God where in the beginning of your break up you turned to drugs and the world to cope where now you are walking with God. He can be leading you through your healing.

Also the soul-ties through sex doesn't help much. but God is a healer and you are in a far better place now with God then you were without Him.

If you haven't already, pray for her as well as yourself. Ask God why it is that she is still in your mind and possibly heart and what the dreams are. If she is not your future ask God to heal you from it so that you can be completely free and available for the helpmate that He ordained for you. She deserves all of you.

~Jrs_Lovely1 {iPad}

 

[Humble Pie]

I read an article claiming 1/4 of men dream about ex girlfriends, even when they are in new relationship.

 

[All4HISglory]

Also want to add this for you.

"If you attempt to build intimacy with another person before you've done the hard work of becoming a whole and healthy person, every relationship will be an attempt to complete the wholeness that you lack and end in disaster." (Relationships, p. 20)

In other words, if our identity is not secure in Christ, if we are still looking to others to make us feel secure, complete or "okay," our relationships will never be healthy and strong. This is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL to understand. Contrary to the pop philosophy of Jerry McGuire, the most romantic thing you can say to someone is not "you complete me." If you must be completed by another person, you will find that whatever they have to give you will never be enough. Only God, through His Son and through the Holy Spirit, can provide what each of us need to be complete. When we are whole and secure in Him, then we can approach a relationship in a healthy way.

Best wishes

~Jrs_Lovely1 {iPad}

 

[Warrior4TheLord]

Also want to add this for you.

"If you attempt to build intimacy with another person before you've done the hard work of becoming a whole and healthy person, every relationship will be an attempt to complete the wholeness that you lack and end in disaster." (Relationships, p. 20)

In other words, if our identity is not secure in Christ, if we are still looking to others to make us feel secure, complete or "okay," our relationships will never be healthy and strong. This is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL to understand. Contrary to the pop philosophy of Jerry McGuire, the most romantic thing you can say to someone is not "you complete me." If you must be completed by another person, you will find that whatever they have to give you will never be enough. Only God, through His Son and through the Holy Spirit, can provide what each of us need to be complete. When we are whole and secure in Him, then we can approach a relationship in a healthy way.

Best wishes

~Jrs_Lovely1 {iPad}

Thank you for your kind words of wisdom sister !!!Really encouraging, I appreciate your intake, and I will definitely do everything you have mentioned!!!

 

[parsley]

It's natural to get fatalistic too -- imagining that she is "the one" because you can't let go of her.

Emotions happen in the brain, and decisions happen in the brain. Your brain has stored up a lot of memories and categorized them as what you appreciated, what you didn't like, who she reminded you of, what she said... the time together became a part of you, a collection of segments stored within your brain.

There will be things you wish you had again, but couldn't define. Your brain can use her image as the visual definition, and you grasp the connection.

For instance, if a new friend annoys you by being pushy, but you still like them. At night while your brain is making sense of that, it brings up past instances where you had that same emotion. Your ex comes to mind, and you conclude, [oh yeah it turned out okay because she still liked me]. Or whatever.

Or you wish you could find another person with similar qualities, and those qualities are showing up in your dreams. Think of her as symbolic of certain characteristics, and then see if the dreams make sense.

 

[Warrior4TheLord]

It's natural to get fatalistic too -- imagining that she is "the one" because you can't let go of her.

Emotions happen in the brain, and decisions happen in the brain. Your brain has stored up a lot of memories and categorized them as what you appreciated, what you didn't like, who she reminded you of, what she said... the time together became a part of you, a collection of segments stored within your brain.

There will be things you wish you had again, but couldn't define. Your brain can use her image as the visual definition, and you grasp the connection.

For instance, if a new friend annoys you by being pushy, but you still like them. At night while your brain is making sense of that, it brings up past instances where you had that same emotion. Your ex comes to mind, and you conclude, [oh yeah it turned out okay because she still liked me]. Or whatever.

Or you wish you could find another person with similar qualities, and those qualities are showing up in your dreams. Think of her as symbolic of certain characteristics, and then see if the dreams make sense.

Never thought of it that way, thank you for your insight & wisdom!!!

 

[Warrior4TheLord]

Just had another dream last night this one was pretty interesting. In this dream I ran into saw her somewhere and we didnt really talk much. She ended up sending me a bunch of shoeboxes in the mail, which had a bunch of old newspapers in them...I remember opening them and I started crying for some reason. I then put the old shoeboxes back into my closet. What do you think that's symbolic of???

 

[paul1149]

Hi Warrior,

I was going to echo the advice given here to watch and pray on this, because the exact purpose of the dream wasn't clear to me. But I think that with what you've just added, what's happening comes into focus. Shoeboxes are where we keep memories - typically pictures and mementos from the past. You said you had a very difficult time with the heartbreak of this relationship. It drove you into behavior that dulled the pain but could not heal. It seems to me that there still are memories that need to be grieved in the comforting and healing presence of the Lord. As the Holy Spirit ministers to these sensitive areas you will be entirely healed and free of any sadness or wrong attachment that would hinder you.

casting all your care on Him, because He cares about you. -1Pet 5:7​

 

[parsley]

Shoeboxes are where we keep memories

Yes, and it's a very simple personal storage system. We tuck them under the bed where others won't get to them. If I read it right-- dating 4 years is a big chunk of your life. You must have been very close.

Long relationships are very hard to get over. They are a part of us. A breakup is a shock to our system, and changes the way we think about daily life.

The brain has natural ways of delaying trauma til later. You say that you turned to substances, so the delay in grieving might have been a lot more distinct. Now your mind could be saying, "okay, I'm ready to handle a little more of it."

 

[paul1149]

Yes, the healing is a process, like peeling onion layers. It can't be artificially sped up. The best we can do is cooperate with it fully.

 

[Warrior4TheLord]

Thanks guys! Yes the whole process has taken time, and I feel like the last memories are fading away, the Lord has definitely healed me of any anger, depression, heartbreak that was experienced in this relationship. Parsley, I took your advice earlier this week and have been praying for her the past few days, that she may be spiritually awoken, and find that freedom in the Lord. I will continue to pray to God asking that he take away any attachment and heal me to the fullest. I have faith & know God's going to restore & give justice to anything inside of me that was broken. God bless you guys, I really appreciate the encouragement!!!

 

[paul1149]

Thank you, Warrior. And God bless you and speed you to a wonderful destiny in Him.

 

[All4HISglory]

Just had another dream last night this one was pretty interesting. In this dream I ran into saw her somewhere and we didnt really talk much. She ended up sending me a bunch of shoeboxes in the mail, which had a bunch of old newspapers in them...I remember opening them and I started crying for some reason. I then put the old shoeboxes back into my closet. What do you think that's symbolic of???

I agree with what our Brothers & Sisters have said already (Paul & Parsley).

Earlier with your first dream it seemed that you were going through a healing process and now with this dream, it appears that God desires to do it! PTL.

You first have to expose it. In this last dream, you put the shoebox in the closet. The shoebox represents protection and keeping something protected (keepsake). The closet symbolizes trying to keep those things hidden.

In the dream you didn't receive the shoebox until after you ran into her somewhere. (bringing something up that you didn't know was still there).

It's alright to be vulnerable and still dealing with feelings concerning her. As Parsley stated, 4 yrs. is a long time. I think that's what the newspaper represents. All of the time spent, events shared etc. Old newspaper are historic records of life events.

I believe in order for you to be healed from this truly, you have to bring all of what is in you for her out in the open and lay it before God. Its possible that there is still something lingering within you even though you have come a long way in healing. Psalms 55:22 "Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken." & 1 Peter 5:7 <---- echoing Paul.

The more you try to hold on to the old relationship, the longer you are prolonging your complete healing. If you have been praying about your healing, the dream could be God showing you that you are still holding on something when He wants you to give it to Him.

I love this saying "there is no pain on earth that Heaven cannot heal." No matter how difficult it is to let go, you must do it in order to allow God to fill you up with His love, comfort, peace and understanding of this situation. The healing process isn't always easy BUT the end result is worth praising for!

You can't receive the wife that God has already ordained for you if your heart is wrapped and bound to someone else.

~Jrs_Lovely1 {iPad}