Everything is changing and I can't cope. I need Christian Comfort.

[HeatherPd]

My life has taken a drastic change that most teens my age come across at this time in their life. I am currently seventeen years old and after graduating high school in Montana, at the age of sixteen and in three years, I moved to California to attend college. Because of my age, my parents, and myself I suppose, decided that I was not ready to go off to school by myself, so instead I recently moved in with my Dad, who I have only spent time with briefly during summers. Living with my Dad I am able to attend a two year college while preparing to move away in the next couple years.

Montana to California is a big change. I find nothing desirable about California and miss my beautiful home-state very much. I left behind many great friends, family, a boyfriend, and a life that I was content and comfortable with. I come from a beautiful small-town where I am able to spend a majority of time outdoors doing everything I love to do; hiking, going to the lake, river, and simply enjoying the nature. California is a whole different story. Unlike a small-town, people are not often courteous and staying safe is sometimes a question. Comfortable is the last thing I am.

With my new life I do not receive much social interaction. I am not having the conventional, normal college experience. I do not experience living in a dorm, meeting people through shared housing, or engaging in "freshman activities" and campus parties in order to meet people. I live at home, do not have a car (I sadly had to leave my old, gas-guzzling pick-up back home), and go to school twice a week, to a college that does not encourage student activities, although I'm not sure this wouldn't even do me much good. I crave intelligent, deep, and creative people that I can relate to, but this is not a place that harbors many of these sorts of people. Most kids my age that I meet are concerned with partying and conversations with them often are shallow. Because of these obstacles I have lived here for a month and have met virtually no one. Suddenly, this is beginning to have an effect on me. I've begun getting very lonely, pitying myself, dedicating most of my time to reading and watching season after season of TV shows. I am jealous of friends back home, still in high school, and of friends off in college, living in dorms, easily meeting new people.

Finding a church and attending are also proving to be challenges. Without a car I have to rely on my Dad for rides anywhere. My Dad, who considers himself an Atheist, is not the most avid church-goer as you would imagine. He does not consider getting me to church as a top priority, which is killing me. I want to go. In fact, I need to go. What I need more than anything right now is God and because of these negative emotions of mine and car-issues (which is ridiculous), I am having a hard time being with him.

I apologize for my sob-story, but I very much need Christian comfort and guidance right now. Any advice, sympathy, or inspiration would be amazing.

I need good people to talk to. I know you all are.
Thank you!

 

[Wedjat]

Churches are fantastic community groups, and church youth groups can be some of the most socially engaging gatherings of people. My advice is to make it very clear to your father that you are feeling socially isolated and need to get out more, explain to him that going to church can help you meet new people and help you acclimate to California. He doesn't need to go to church with you, but as a father I believe it is his responsibility to help his daughter feel more comfortable in her new home, and if giving her a lift on Sunday morning is all it takes, well... it's the least he could do.

 

[Aino]

It's hard being a christian in the middle of hard-core athists, I know it well enough. Perhaps you could tryto getto know those from your school anyway? Just use all chances you have to get to know them anyways; perhaps there are other christians anyways and really most likely some nice non-christians as well. Some social activity and new friends will cheer you up for sure! You could of course ask your dad if you could use his car every now and the or if he could give you a lift... He's your dad, it's his responsibility to take care of you as long as you live with him and he'll understand your differing life views. I hope you'll get well again and get a new start.

 

[ModestGirlsRock]

I'm so sorry. I love being a freshman at the University of Oklahoma. It's in my state, it's balanced between sports, arts, and academia, there are plenty of organization including tons of Christian organizations one can plug into, and it's a dry campus. I wish you could experience what I've experienced socially and academically.

You should be able to attend a college that personally fits you. I mean, I have friends right now who have changed universities/colleges for the one I'm attending because the previous one wasn't fitting socially, academically, and/or religiously. If you're frustrated, you should think about attending a new place for the spring. Now, homesickness is natural, but this university doesn't sound like it fits you at all. I will pray that God will lead you to a better 4-yr University.

 

[HeatherPd]

I appreciate everyones replies! I wrote this post when I was in a very miserable state and feel almost silly about it, but thank you again. I've taken in all the advice and with a positive attitude things are already beginning to look up. Church on Sunday is looking like a reasonable prospect; the only issue now is finding the right one.

And yes, I don't think I will ever truly be comfortable and happy here so when the time comes I look forward to transferring and finding my place.

 

[Aino]

It's great to hear that you're doing better and that you acn do something about things. Oh, and there's no need to feel silly about it, we all have our moments. God bless!

 

[PhilosophicalBluster]

California and Montana are two of the most beautiful states I've ever been to. As far as church goes, if your dad won't bring you, ride a bike if it's close enough, or take the bus. Both options will require extra time, but if church is as important to you as you say it is, you should be willing to make the sacrifice.

Being social really isn't as hard as people make it out to be. Just find common ground. If you have that, other stuff follows.

 

[Truffle]

for you tonight homey in cali world. i am here too.

 

[renee09]

HII
have you talked to your dad yet ?? tell him everything you have told us especially the part about finding a church. see how he feels about it.
God Bless.

 

[JessYca!]

I am thinking of something enlightening to say but in the meantime just know that I'm praying for you and wish you the best. PM me anytime if you need to talk.

 

[aandb]

How did you graduate so early? Maybe you should have gone back for another year.

 

[Girly101]

Hi Heather. My names Kaitlin. I'm a newbie. And I'm really sorry for what you're going through. I hurt for you. Just know that the Lord is with you and He will guide you. I don't have much advice but I'll be praying for you. I know how hard it can be to find friends.."the right kinda friends". Even though I still go to high school and am 17.Wish I was with you in real life I'd be your friend.