since I relapsed, I've cut every day, more than once a day. I don't know why I do it. Somehow I justify it by saying this is something God will use in the future so it's okay that I'm doing it now--and I know that's wrong! I find every reason to cut myself... earlier, because I felt I hadn't studied enough for my final. I need reasons not to do this! I've figured that as long as I'm not suicidal, it's ok. Can someone please convince me otherwise? I mean, I know I shouldn't do it. I just haven't found a good enough reason to resist the urges. I can tell myself that my body is God's temple, or that I'm made in His image.. but somehow that's not enough. It should be! I don't know when/why I became this person who doesn't care!
I'm sorry that you're struggling so much. Can you try replacing the cutting with doing the thing you are cutting for instead? For instance - can you convince yourself to go and study a bit more rather than cutting? Then, reward yourself with something small that you enjoy for the extra studying or getting the task done that needed to be done?
