Every Day a Struggle

[Donnabing]

My husband has been unemployed for over a year and it is putting a lot of stress on our marriage. We have only been married for a few months, but our savings are running out and we have little to fall back on at this point. He has a BS degree and is a highly skilled and intelligent man. I can't figure out why he hasnt been able to get a job! I guess I just need some encouragement!

 

[lovinjesus44]

Don't give up hope! I think God will lead your husband where he wants him to be. I struggled to find a job in a new area when I was first married and when I finally got that job, I found other loving Christians who led me to a deeper relationship with God and introduced me to a wonderful church family. Remember that God's timing is always better than our own and His will is what is most important. Put your faith in Him, He will provide!

 

[Jenna]

Maybe this sounds flippant, but.................

2Th 3:10 For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, If any will not work, neither let him eat.

There are many verses in the bible that speak on the value of hard work and how important it is. If he can be swayed at all in that way, it would be worth a try. Maybe the Holy Spirit would use it as a way to convict his heart.

 

[EmSchmem]

I can feel your pain. My husband is using his college degree to wash dishes. Ironically for the very same college that gave him the degree in the first place. It sucks. He should be teaching and is washing dishes. He hates it and comes home wet, sticky, smelly, and gross. BUT! He has a job and would have so even if he had to go over to McD's if he had to.

 

[Jenna]

Sometimes what we need to do is relax our overblown standards and learn that any work is good work. Working diligently is good for a person, and it doesn't matter if they own a business, sweep floors, or clean the toilets. It's that a person is willing to work hard for their blessings that really matters, not the type of work. However, many men judge themselves very hard if they can't get into a job that they feel they can be proud of. I've heard of many men who would rather be without a job and blame it on the economy or whatever, instead of taking a "lesser" job and feeling shamed. Of course, this is silly. A job does not define a person and make him lesser or greater. All labor is good, not just that which keeps you clean and has you smelling like roses (lol) every day.

Even a meagerly paying job will be bringing in money, which is better than what you've been having to do thusfar in digging into your savings. Urge him to get a job, any job, and pray to the Lord to support you in your efforts. I don't honestly know of anyone close to me who has worked hard and been let down by the Lord. In some way or another, they have always been provided for. Sometimes it is a new job offer or promotion, and sometimes it is an anonymous check that just arrives in the mail for no reason. The Lord works in mysterious ways. If you husband refuses to work to take care of his family, then you might have to be like Deborah and step up to the plate and do it yourself.

 

[pegatha]

I'm not sure I understand the situation. Is it that he's looking for a job and truly can't find one? Or is it that he's refusing to look?

 

[Gerry_NY]

Sometimes what we need to do is relax our overblown standards and learn that any work is good work. Working diligently is good for a person, and it doesn't matter if they own a business, sweep floors, or clean the toilets. It's that a person is willing to work hard for their blessings that really matters, not the type of work. However, many men judge themselves very hard if they can't get into a job that they feel they can be proud of. I've heard of many men who would rather be without a job and blame it on the economy or whatever, instead of taking a "lesser" job and feeling shamed. Of course, this is silly. A job does not define a person and make him lesser or greater. All labor is good, not just that which keeps you clean and has you smelling like roses (lol) every day.

Even a meagerly paying job will be bringing in money, which is better than what you've been having to do thusfar in digging into your savings. Urge him to get a job, any job, and pray to the Lord to support you in your efforts. I don't honestly know of anyone close to me who has worked hard and been let down by the Lord. In some way or another, they have always been provided for. Sometimes it is a new job offer or promotion, and sometimes it is an anonymous check that just arrives in the mail for no reason. The Lord works in mysterious ways. If you husband refuses to work to take care of his family, then you might have to be like Deborah and step up to the plate and do it yourself.

Amen sister! No matter what the job, as long as it gives you a paycheck, is a good job. The Lord will provide what you need. All you have to do is ask. He already knows what you need, knowing that, will make it easier to pray for what you need. Anything he does, make sure he is doing it for God. If he cleans toilets, knowing that God will provide, knowing that he is doing his Father's work, will bless him even more.

 

[InTheFlame]

Donna - what's your own job situation like? Are you working, or are you both unemployed?

 

[oldrooster]

Any job is a good job now.....

 

[Truly Blessed]

If he is looking for a job and cant find one in his field then he needs to take whatever he can get. McDonalds if necessary. If he isn't looking - he needs to be kicked in the pants (back side).

Prying your husband will find a job.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Well, from reading your posts you married the guy in August, which means you knew he hasn't had a job for all this time.
What exactly were you expecting?

 

[Donnabing]

Ok, lemme clarify a bit. My husband has been actively seeking employment for over a year. We live in a small college town, hence the low availability of jobs. He is so exhausted from filling out applications, submitting resumes and calling back. It is the search that is causing him to be discouraged. He is doing all he can do, humanly.

 

[mamaneenie]

I know exactly how you feel. My hubby is going through the same thing, we have a little boy to add to our worries as well. He has been unemployed for 8mths, and it's not easy. He is trying very hard to find work, but keeps getting knocked back. He is running his own business doing technician work, but hasn't got many customers yet. So it's not easy. He would prefer to be in full time work like he was earlier this year before the company he was working for went bust. He was a manager for an IT company earning $55,000 a year.

 

[isaiah5213]

just keep praying. don't get discouraged.. keep telling your husband how much you believe in him, and how awesome of a man he is, and how glad you are that you married him.. don't give up telling him that.. and remind him that God has a plan for him. you guys just don't know what it is yet...
and keep asking God to reveal his plan.

 

[mghalpern]

I'm a career counselor in Bakersfield, CA where the unemployment rate is always in the low to mid teens. Just up the valley, it's as high at 25%. I don't know where you live, but you might have some of the same issues. I would encourage him to seek the assistance of a career counselor, such as a Workforce Investment Act program (like the one I work for) or a professional search firm that can help place him. Also, please remember how devastating it can be for some (used to be most) men this can be. I wouldn't doubt that he is discouraged and depressed by the rejection of not being hired. Please try to be his encouragement at this time and take most of your discouraged emotions to God and a close trusted friend. I told my wife before we got married that I not her provide, God is! it's just that he'll probably use me as an instrument to bring home an income...Michael

 

[InTheFlame]

Donna.... I'm still curious as to whether you're working, or studying, or unemployed? If you're not working, is there any work you can do to help bring in some extra cash? There are some jobs (eg secretarial) that women tend to get more easily than men, sexist though that is.

 

[Donnabing]

I am a student and I work 15hrs a week at minimum wage in Mount Pleasant, MI. With that I can pay all of our bills, but the rent goes unpaid...not fun. A praise though! Eric's dad owns a computer store, and this weekend we had an opportunity to purchase 11 used monitors at the University I attend and sell them for $43 profit per monitor! We can pay rent this month, YEAY GOD!

 

[FranklinNoble]

The Lord will provide. I went through a period of six months without a steady job after getting laid off. I have a wife and two kids... one infant, so she's a stay-at-home mom.

It was not easy, but somehow, I always managed to find some contract work and other means of putting food on the table. Keep praying! The Lord has a way of growing your faith through trials. (James 1:3)

 

[InTheFlame]

Donna - that's great!

Can your church help out at all? Does it need a cleaner or anything? Maybe some people in the church could have odd jobs your husband could do, or some volunteer work he could do that might lead to paid work?

 

[brokenbananas]

I know this may sound weird, but this is a wonderful time where you can seek God, step out in faith, try something different, trust God and see Him work. Pray, watch, do what you feel God is leading to. Go to His Word and claim His promises.

My husband got laid off over a year ago, but it opened opportunities for us. We also added another kid to our finances. God has helped us better manage our finances, be better stewards. Some months it's harder than others, but we just keep trusting God to meet our needs. He provides contract work for my husband at just the right times. And, he's working through our emotions with the stock trading stuff. It's been a very challenging road, but that's ok.

We see God's hand totally all over our lives. It's a very exciting time. Look at this instead of a struggle, but as a big adventure and see what God will do for, with, and through the both of you.

Be Blessed & Encouraged,
Doris