Ever had this happen?

[NewCreation517]

When you recovered from your ED you had just the opposite problem? I'm a recovered anorexic/bulimic. Now I have a problem with overeating and I can't seem to get over it. I feel HORRIBLE most of the time. So fat. Like such a failure. It feels like there's no happy in btw for me. It's either Im not eating or I eat everything. Can any of you relate?

 

[bumblebee62331]

When you recovered from your ED you had just the opposite problem? I'm a recovered anorexic/bulimic. Now I have a problem with overeating and I can't seem to get over it. I feel HORRIBLE most of the time. So fat. Like such a failure. It feels like there's no happy in btw for me. It's either Im not eating or I eat everything. Can any of you relate?

I can totally relate. When I recovered my recovery weight was too big for me to handle. It may be nice and healthy, but it's icky to feel that big. Part of it might be your warped view of yourself.

However another part may be that you have finally started realising that eating isn't that bad. It's yum. It's nice. You shouldn't restrict. However, this means that you will be eating more often, more food, different types etc. It's easy to start enjoying it too much.

The sad thing is, you stop and look at yourself (as I did) and go "oh oh..." and start restricting again so you're back where you started from. I'm in the process of working back to where I was.

I guess you have to now strive to maintain at a healthy weight and try to surround yourself with healthy food to nibble on if you start craving. It's so hard. To go from one extreme to the other is horrible!

I hope you are taking care of yourself.

 

[PureGrace]

I havent struggled personally with that (Im still on the anororexia side) but I will definately be praying for you. I can only imagine how hard that must be! PLease PM if you ever need anything!

 

[bumblebee62331]

Do you know if your weight is healthy or overweight?

Is it your warped view talking, or is it not?

That's the most difficult thing I faced. I knew I wasn't fat, I was normal sized, but through the eyes of anorexia I was fat and gross.

 

[NewCreation517]

I feel HUGE and GROSS. I'm on the low end of avg for my height. I don't feel very "average" though.

Thanks for the comments.

 

[bumblebee62331]

I feel HUGE and GROSS. I'm on the low end of avg for my height. I don't feel very "average" though.

Thanks for the comments.

Oh I know what you mean...

What you feel like and what you look like are two different things. Are you able to talk to someone to try to figure out which feelings are true and which are false? You can by physically recovered (like you sound like you are right now) but mentally still struggling. And if you are still struggling mentally, you are never totally going to be able to recover and accept yourself.

You've come so far with recovery - don't let your mind drag you back in!

 

[fanintoflame]

When you recovered from your ED you had just the opposite problem? I'm a recovered anorexic/bulimic. Now I have a problem with overeating and I can't seem to get over it. I feel HORRIBLE most of the time. So fat. Like such a failure. It feels like there's no happy in btw for me. It's either Im not eating or I eat everything. Can any of you relate?

I Can relate completely.
And I have to add that it never really helps when people come out with well meaning comments. Alright I guess that means I might be a little sensitive to what others say or what I think they might be thinking or saying. What help's me is looking at myself the way God looks at me. Reminding myself of who I am in Christ. This might sound really stupid but try to think of how you should eat as a challenge instead of another chance to fail or opportunity to relapse. Sometimes we might not always get it right but we have won half the battle by trying.

 

[Daysoni]

I to also suffer from an ED. It's a tuff battle. I am anorexic and also purge. I've lived with this most of my life. Ihave had to look at it as kind of being like a diabetic. There are good days and bad. Buy learning to manage our symptoms we can keep it under control. The on thing that is making it a little easeir is that I'm learning to give my control to God. I need to take the strict dicipline that I have used to loose the weight and use it in my walk with God. His shoulder is large, large enough to carry our burdens and to rest upon. He doesn't want us to suffer his Son already did that on the cross. I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts. Don't give up. All thought the tunnel may seem long the journey is worth it and the end of it is better.

 

[BeanMak]

You say your weight is on the low end of average, yet you are calling yourself huge and gross. Sorry, sounds to me that you haven't recovered from your eating disorder, you have just added a few pounds so that they don't put you back in the hospital so that you don't die. You need to get professional help. If you have stopped seeing a therapist, then you need to get to one fast! I don't mean to be harsh or cruel. I am speaking in love because you are still ill.

 

[bumblebee62331]

It's normal to feel like you are fat and gross because you have put on the recovery weight - it's how I'm feeling right now. You need to make sure that you are getting proper assistance and help all the way through your recovery - you aren't suddenly "better". You may be physically recovered, but mentally it's another story. You need to conquer both aspects of recovery.