ERP for HOCD with you are a christian?

[ranchdoritos88]

Hey Everyone!

Well I've realized one thing that is making me hesitant on getting over this HOCD. Is that Exposure and Response Prevention teaches that you "agree" to the thoughts and expose yourself to being gay/bi. My main struggle is with being bisexual NOT gay. I fear being bisexual because I hate not knowing if there is another side to me. I hate the idea of not know what gender I'd be with next if I were bisexual and it makes me sick to my stomache like what if I am secretly.

Anyways, because I am christian, I find great resistance in my head against exposing myself to that lifestyle and even being okay with it, cause God is not ok with it. I am really confused on how to apply ERP to this form of ocd. Anyone with any experience/advice?

Also, I would like to talk to someone on yahoo messenger, preferably another girl.

Thanks.

 

[shelovesChrist]

God knows your heart . Trust in Him and let Him work it out . He can distinguish between you and things not like you . Don't be down on yourself, its hard, but ask God to help you . He will . The Spirit will give you power over all that try to overcome . You are a conqueror in Jesus . we are here to encourage . praying for you

 

[zingiber]

No, you don't have to "agree" to it, or believe that bisexuality is right, to do ERP. Not at all! All you have to do is expose yourself to the obsession that says that you might be bi and do nothing about it. You can do perfectly good ERP, all the while thinking about how wrong bisexuality is!

Remember, ERP isn't about agreeing with the obsession; it is merely about exposing yourself to it. It isn't Agreement and Response Prevention: it is Exposure and Response Prevention. Imagine a person like me with blasphemous thoughts: we don't agree with the thoughts - far from it. We disagree with them, we hate them, we long for them to go; but we do not fight them. There is absolutely nothing morally wrong with this; indeed, you could say that ERP is actually the right course, because even if the "bad" thoughts are stronger for a period, in the long run there are fewer of them. Your motivation for letting them remain is a good one, because you wish to get rid of them.

 

[jakstarr]

hello im 19 years old and i belive i have HOCD! (i hope anyway) im going to tell you my symtoms and want you to tell me wether or not you think im gay or i do indeed have hocd.
- constantly imagine myself with men to see wether or not i like it
- feel the way i talk or the way im sitting or walking was gay
- feel weird and anxious when i see men i dont even wanna be with my mates or watch tv anymore or play sports
- feel asif ive lost my attraction for women
- the gay thoughts do not give me pleasure they make me feel disturbed, weird, make me wanna cry, major anxiety. but they feel so real i get adrenalline bursts which make me think i must like it
- i even get anxiety when i think of women now hoping that when i think of women and i dont feel anything i get anxiety becuase i think that must mean i dont like them anymore
- bascially i know im straight but the thoughts feel so real and actually convince me that im gay ive even tried saying to myself im gay my heart beats so fast and i feel really weird and i just cry but then i think wait a minute im not gay though.

i mean how can i be gay i get aroused by women ive slept with women ive loved a woman ive had many emotional and sexual relationships with them and i was happy never failed to become aroused. i just think to myself how could a member of the same sex fancy a member of the same sex it just does not make any sense. this all started january this year i was happy knew i was straight a normal 18 year old teenager having fun enjoying life and then one thought in january ..what if im gay! bam this starts i just want to die. i dont want to be gay its as simple as that its not even that im homphobic because im not ijust dont want to be gay and its just not who i am. what as happened to me whenever i get gay thoughts now it feels asif i like them when i know i dont its disgusting! i think its also important to mention that before this i obsessed over heart attacks, cancer and death. they would also feel very real. i even went to bed one night with a little rash on my hand and i would think a poisonous spider had bitten me and i was scared to sleep incase i didnt wake up. ive suffered with panic attacks all my life really not much but i do get them. i get anxiety just going for a haircut or at a job interview which is why im unemployed and its just all destroying my life. seriously i would rather be dead than be gay. if i truly was gay i dont think id be going through this if i was gay and i didnt find women aytarctive then fair enough but the thing is im NOT gay thats why its such a problem this shoudnt be happening to me. isit normal for all the thoughts to feel so real and true that you actually belive them? thanks

 

[kaykay9.0]

Jak, they ask us not to "diagnose" here on this forum, but I think it's acceptable to tell you that quite a bit of what you've posted does sound like OCD battles and this is a common theme for it. Praying for you~

 

[angelamarie10]

Hey Everyone!

Well I've realized one thing that is making me hesitant on getting over this HOCD. Is that Exposure and Response Prevention teaches that you "agree" to the thoughts and expose yourself to being gay/bi. My main struggle is with being bisexual NOT gay. I fear being bisexual because I hate not knowing if there is another side to me. I hate the idea of not know what gender I'd be with next if I were bisexual and it makes me sick to my stomache like what if I am secretly.

Anyways, because I am christian, I find great resistance in my head against exposing myself to that lifestyle and even being okay with it, cause God is not ok with it. I am really confused on how to apply ERP to this form of ocd. Anyone with any experience/advice?

Also, I would like to talk to someone on yahoo messenger, preferably another girl.

Thanks.

HI Ranchdoritos,
I read your post and thought wow, there is someone out there that is having the same issues as me... I have just started Therapy with my doctor after 15 years of Hocd, how ever i did not know what it was until recently. Im 35 now, so hoping for some good years ahead. I can totally relate to your issues around exposer therapy.. I am also struggling with it... I would love to chat some time, however I don't have yahoo... I have been looking for fellow christian, in which to talk to about hocd.. Blessings, keep you chin up.

 

[LoveAdoni]

Hey Everyone!

Well I've realized one thing that is making me hesitant on getting over this HOCD. Is that Exposure and Response Prevention teaches that you "agree" to the thoughts and expose yourself to being gay/bi. My main struggle is with being bisexual NOT gay. I fear being bisexual because I hate not knowing if there is another side to me. I hate the idea of not know what gender I'd be with next if I were bisexual and it makes me sick to my stomache like what if I am secretly.

Anyways, because I am christian, I find great resistance in my head against exposing myself to that lifestyle and even being okay with it, cause God is not ok with it. I am really confused on how to apply ERP to this form of ocd. Anyone with any experience/advice?

Also, I would like to talk to someone on yahoo messenger, preferably another girl.

Thanks.

Hi -

About 14 years ago I had fears about my sexual identity, too. I'm a devout Christian and this just tore me up. It eventually went away and then later reappeared in a different form (now harm OCD).

I don't like some of the ERP/CBT therapy approaches for these forms of OCD. I can see how the approach works with compulsions (counting, washing, etc.) but not HOCD, personally. I choose to agree with what the Lord says in His word about me rather than what a worldly approach says. ERP rules do say to "agree" with the thought and to not seek reassurance (at least this is the ERP advice I was given). I don't think the Lord would want you to agree with the lying thought in your head. Everyone has thoughts here and there about the same sex it is just that our (people with OCD) frontal lobes deal w/thoughts differently than other people's. We get into a sort of brain lock and we give a stupid thought ammunition by giving it time and reacting with panic and anxiety to it.

You are not gay. Do you realize that if you were bisexual, then the very thought of being attracted to another woman would not scare you or make you sick to your stomach like it does? This obsession will pass. Your OCD has just grabbed onto sexuality. OCD goes to where our fears are. That is why I believe this disorder must have originated in the pit of hell because Satan is a liar and his power is to make us fear. This is just my personal opinion.

I've been on meds for 12 years for my OCD. I'm believing for total deliverance or the strength and grace to deal w/mine. I'm not where I need to be with my OCD but I can empathize with you and let you know I dealt with fears about being gay, too. I'm married with a child now.

Don't fear, (easy to say, right?) the Lord is with you and He loves you so very much. Just realize this is your OCD messing with you not you.

I hope I didn't break any forum rules. I'm not diagnosing just encouraging.

Hugs.

 

[kaykay9.0]

Hi -

About 14 years ago I had fears about my sexual identity, too. I'm a devout Christian and this just tore me up. It eventually went away and then later reappeared in a different form (now harm OCD).

I don't like some of the ERP/CBT therapy approaches for these forms of OCD. I can see how the approach works with compulsions (counting, washing, etc.) but not HOCD, personally. I choose to agree with what the Lord says in His word about me rather than what a worldly approach says. ERP rules do say to "agree" with the thought and to not seek reassurance (at least this is the ERP advice I was given). I don't think the Lord would want you to agree with the lying thought in your head. Everyone has thoughts here and there about the same sex it is just that our (people with OCD) frontal lobes deal w/thoughts differently than other people's. We get into a sort of brain lock and we give a stupid thought ammunition by giving it time and reacting with panic and anxiety to it.

You are not gay. Do you realize that if you were bisexual, then the very thought of being attracted to another woman would not scare you or make you sick to your stomach like it does? This obsession will pass. Your OCD has just grabbed onto sexuality. OCD goes to where our fears are. That is why I believe this disorder must have originated in the pit of hell because Satan is a liar and his power is to make us fear. This is just my personal opinion.

I've been on meds for 12 years for my OCD. I'm believing for total deliverance or the strength and grace to deal w/mine. I'm not where I need to be with my OCD but I can empathize with you and let you know I dealt with fears about being gay, too. I'm married with a child now.

Don't fear, (easy to say, right?) the Lord is with you and He loves you so very much. Just realize this is your OCD messing with you not you.

I hope I didn't break any forum rules. I'm not diagnosing just encouraging.

Hugs.

Good post! I agree with all that you've expressed here. Yes, I also think there are certain things we should not as Christians "agree with" but the point of that kind of therapy is to allow the thought to be there without reacting in panic to it. Perhaps this is possible without "agreeing with it." I dunno. As you pointed out it is the anxiety that drives the OCD usually, and as you very aptly said, Love Adonai, our OCD does indeed go to where I fears are, the kind of things that matter most to us.