ERP and feelings

[RachelZ]

Hi all...hope you're having a good Sunday!

Well...I'm trying to do this ERP thing and not sure if I'm doing it right or what my feelings are showing. Basically I'm attempting to not give myself reassurance but to just accept what I fear is true. When I've done this before...more in a desperate attempt to just feel less anxious than in a therapeutic way, I've ended up feeling down. This is what's happening now. I'm feeling pretty low today and don't know if that's to be expected. It makes me feel like maybe thats just because I'm finally accepting the truth cos I thought with ERP you felt more anxious rather than depressed. I feel a mixture of depressed and anxious...not a pleasant mix! Any ideas or input gratefully received...take care, Rachel

 

[Jayangel81]

Hey rachel not sure what you mean by "accept what I fear is true".

Dont believe in youre own thoughts but just let it be there, I remember one time just laughing at them, made me feel happy, which normally i dont see how one can laugh about whats in my head heh..but still I just let it be there, accepted it for what it was ..OCD.

Why are you accepting the things in the head are to be true and not just OCD? maybe thats why youre so down and depressed, or perhaps im reading it wrong or just simply missing something

I hope youre day gets happier, I will be praying for you.

God Bless!

 

[RachelZ]

Hi Jayangel, thanks for your reply...sorry I wasn't more clear...I confuse myself sometimes so how anyone else is supposed to know what I'm on about all the time is a mystery...lol

By accepting what I fear to be true, basically with ERP I thought you got the OCD thought/fear and instead of fighting it you accept it an even try to bring it on more...by accepting it I don't just mean accept it's there and is OCD but accept that what you fear may well be true but not respond by ritualising or ruminating. So for someone who fears they've run over someone cos their car hit a bump, instead of trying to fight or reason with the fear you think OK maybe I did...hey I prolly just ran over hapf the people in town, so what? The idea being as I understand it is that by accepting the possiblity that your fears may be true you take the punch out of OCD. My concern is that I thought this made you more anxious for a while and then you made improvements but I seem to be feeling very down like by accepting that the thoughts are based in reality not just in my OCD terrified brain it takes the hope away...cos I find it easier to believe that my thoughts are reality than I do to believe they're OCD.

Hope that makes a bit more sense...no worries if it doesn't...thanks for your prayers...take care, Rachel

 

[Jayangel81]

Ok I understand what you mean now. Let me give you an example.

Lets say I blasphemed the Holy Spirit If I do Exposure and response and I accept that It is what you call true, I dont care how much I let it be there it is going to get me depressed and perhaps more anxious. I was never too into the rituals as much as just the obsession/intrusive thoughts.

Way I see it as I realize its just there, Just let it be there knowing that it is just OCD, dont give yourself any reassurance, just do nothing. If I dont scream at it and decide to actually go through exposure and response(which never happened much) Id just giggle at it. simply knowing its there and that it doesnt bother me.

And I would be fine. Im not sure im explaining this right

 

[RachelZ]

Thanks Jayangel...yes I get what you mean...it seems there's different ways of doing ERP and the way you would do it would be to simply allow the thought to be rather than trying to bring it on or make it worse in order to disempower, (if that's a real word,) the OCD. Blagh...either way it's hard but I guess tackling something as difficult as OCD is never going to be a breeze! By not trying to deal with the thoughts I just seem to end up with horrible feelings anyway but I'll persevere cos I've gotta give it a chance to work. Thanks again for your help...take care, Rachel

 

[Princess Of Yahweh]

I know it really hard most of the time I keep having to telling myself the rational side and challenge it logically. Either way I think you are probably doing better than me Remember: Jesus said "Come to me all who are heavy laden and I will refresh you."!!
Will Pray, God Bless
Alex xx

 

[RachelZ]

Thankx Alex...yes it is hard...you said you thought I was doing better than you...hope you're not suffering too much at the mo? Thank you for that quote...oh to be refreshed...take care, Rachel