enlighten me..

[volleybelle]

hi!..
as you can see i'm new here. This site was recommended by a family member. Great and interesting stuff you have in here...

I strongly believe sex is a wonderful gift from God but only to be enjoyed in the context of marriage. I have a boyfriend who is also a believer and at times we get intimate, turning each other on and sometimes to a point of reaching [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] but we never have sex.And we don't intend to have such. Now i would like to know your ideas/opinions as to what extent does petting become a sexually immoral act?How and where do we draw the line between commiting sexually immoral acts and being physically affectionate to one another to show love? I know we can show love in many other ways and affection is one of them. Hope you can enlighten me with this issue..
thanks. May God's favor be upon you all..

 

[Mr.Cheese]

You'll find a wide range of beliefs on this subject.
As far as procreation, I believe that marriage is the safesst and healthiest context because of the habit it has to create children. That is a responsibility. I'm glad you don't do that. If you're not ready for kids, don't try to make them.

But messing around...I think...I'm still working out what to think about it.
It sounds like you two are comfortable with yoru own sexualities. I can say this: I believe that having healthy attitudes about sex and messing around a bit is healthier than having very confused and misguided attitudes and remaining entirely abstinent.

One thing I always say about this is to Proceed With Caution. These are powerful emotions that you have awakened. Messing around can consume your relationship, thus derailing the development of a strong foundation. It ends up being all you ever do if you don't watch out.

Propriety. Living with the good of your christian family in mind in all you do. Living with integrity. Being a positive example. Things of this nature. Messing around is frowned upon generally. So you will have to figure out how to balance all of this out.

I've been trying to figure out what to tell you guys about this as well. Until then, this is all I have to offer. it's not much.

 

[janny108]

1 Thessalonians4:3,4

"It is God's will that you should be sanctified; that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God." I think this covers a lot.

Jan

 

[oat02351]

hi!..
as you can see i'm new here. This site was recommended by a family member. Great and interesting stuff you have in here...

I strongly believe sex is a wonderful gift from God but only to be enjoyed in the context of marriage. I have a boyfriend who is also a believer and at times we get intimate, turning each other on and sometimes to a point of reaching [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] but we never have sex.And we don't intend to have such. Now i would like to know your ideas/opinions as to what extent does petting become a sexually immoral act?How and where do we draw the line between commiting sexually immoral acts and being physically affectionate to one another to show love? I know we can show love in many other ways and affection is one of them. Hope you can enlighten me with this issue..
thanks. May God's favor be upon you all..

Keep your virginity as long as you can. Once you loose it, you can never go back. How long have you been seeing eachother? Are you going to get married? It depends on how old you are too.

 

[Johnnz]

This will depend on what standards and values you chose to live by. Is this the only guy you will ever be that intimate with? Is marriage over the horizon or coming up soon? Are you both committed to abstaining from intercourse until marriage, or are there differences?

Answers to these questions will give a context to how you should be behaving.

John
NZ

 

[bliz]

hi!..
and at times we get intimate, turning each other on and sometimes to a point of reaching [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] but we never have sex.And we don't intend to have such.

Just how do you define "sex"? Penis in vagina? That is only one kind of sexual relation. Turning each other on to the point of [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], no matter what you are doing to get there, that sure sounds like sex to me. The Bible does not make a very big deal about maintaining one's virginity. Rather the Bible calls upon us to be pure - a higher standard. Way too much has been made of remaining a virgin until marriage so that we have people do all sorts of things, except penis in vagina intercourse, and claiming they are still virgins. This is absurd. Oral sex, anal sex, turing each other on with your hands or your mouths are all sexual activities that belong only in marriage. It's hard to say exactly where the line is...but you crossed it a long time ago.

 

[simplicity]

I think people are so different you know. For instance I have a very pragmatic personality. Within that context there is honour, commitment and respect. Respect not just for the human body but the thousands of years of those who came before me seeking lives of enlightenment and peace. But I admit there are things that, looking back, make me unhappy about myself - by how I treated beautiful and wonderful people. Procreation is mandated by God. But sex these days and the intimacy that leads up to it often has nothing to do with procreation but rather indulging the senses. There is little commitment but much gratification.

My two cents worth is, if something has no point, it very well may be pointless. And sometimes when we go down a particular path, a lot of people who may have shown interest suddenly lose all interest. Sometimes we get exactly what we seek. If you are not interested in a partner of substance, ethics and character, indulging in the shortterm albeit enjoyable things in life is often a way to scare them off. And it does set the person you are permanently. This is what I have seen. So it is what I share.

 

[madison1101]

I am going to ask you some questions. They are not meant to judge you, but to help you examine your thinking on this subject.

Read Philippians 4 "8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Are you thinking pure thoughts while you have foreplay to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]?

Read 1 Corinthians 6, "18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." Are you really honoring God with your body when you are doing this?

Finally, just a worldview question. President Clinton stood on national television in front of television cameras and said "I did not have sex with that woman?" He did not have intercourse with Monica. What was all the fuss about if he didn't have sex?

 

[Marie D]

IMHO the thing you've been doing it wrong because it's sexual activity outside of marriage. I pray that you and your boyfriend will find the strength to stop doing these things and respect each other's purity. If your lust remains too strong, you should marry, as marriage is the only place that such behaviour is morally sanctioned.
BTW, I'm not judging you or your boyfriend, just your behaviour.

 

[soonto_be]

Instead of toeing the line, wouldn't it be better if you tried to stay as pure as possible?

 

[Equineartchick]

To me, the line is way before that hon. I agree with soonto_be- why even try to find the line? You should be focusing on God, and asking Him if this relationship is right. If you get too close to your boyfriend, you may wind up ignoring God's will. Don't get so attached, it can only lead to bad things. As pure as you can possibly stay, the better for you both later on.

 

[SparkyMel]

The thing is, all of us can offer advice from out various denominations, and we all believe our opinion to be more or less right, either becasue we formed it or becasue we believe that since our church told it to us, it has to be right. But deep down, do any of us really know where the line is and when we have crossed it? I think that telling people that they are wrong is more a matter of opinion (unless it clearly says in the Bible, where it is not open to interpretation - but even then some of us believe the Bible to be the exact word of God and others do not...)

I don't condemn what you're doing with your boyfriend, it's probably healthier than trying to supress any sexual feelings for one another. My advice would be to follow your heart, and it will tell you to do the right thing. You may regret sleeping with this guy if he's not the right one.

In the end, God will love you no matter what you do - not saying that this is an excuse to sin - but He would want you to be happy and to me it seems silly to beat yourself up about this issue when there are probably more fulfiling things you could be doing in your Christian life. I say do whatever you feel most comfortable with.

 

[Steve J.]

1 Thessalonians4:3,4

"It is God's will that you should be sanctified; that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God." I think this covers a lot.

Jan

Exellent quote.

When the Word speaks so plainly Christians should listen. I wish I had.

 

[Steve J.]

I say do whatever you feel most comfortable with.

With all due respect, I have been unable to find a biblical reference for "If it feels good, do it". Perhaps a tad more research is in order.