Engagement

[SirFei]

I know I'm never going to be accepted by everyone; I was a nerd/geek growing up and was rejected by most people. Heh. Although that is far in my past, I still try to please everyone to my best ability, including my girlfriend's sister. This, however, doesn't mean I'm going to push the issue, but show the kindness from my heart and love that God would have me show. I know first hand how trying to push someone to like you can cause that person to be pushed farther away.

Thank you all for yor comments, everyone. I asked her about rings when she brought up the subject about them a few days back. I got the info I need to get a ring. Again, thanks to all!

~Marc

 

[LN]

Congrats on finding a great girl!

I'm pretty opinionated about the diamond topic - a lot of my guy friends have come to me for advice on this

Personally, I could have done without a diamond - I'm not really the traditional type. My husband wanted me to have one. Some woman would only want a diamond because they are more traditional. Sounds like your girlfriend fits into this category?

I am in the wedding business (photographer) and I can always tell when a man picked out the setting without the woman because its a lone solitaire. Not that there is anyting wrong with that, but I think most women want a unique setting that reflects their personality.

You have a couple choices - one guy friend presented his fiance with a loose diamond in a box while on a romantic date and they went to the store and picked out a setting together. That was a win/win because there was still the element of suprise but she got to pick out her setting.

I gave my husband a general sense of what I wanted (an antique style ring) and he got me a setting from the designer Tacori (www.tacori.com).

I think that you should at least attempt to get a sense from either her or her friends as to what type of setting she would like. Chances are she has shared this with her friends if she thinks you are going to propose. If you have an engaged friend you could say "what do you think about Sally's ring?" and see what she says. If she say "oh, I like it, but I'd like a more modern setting" or if she says "I love it, but the diamond is set a little high" you have an idea of what she is looking for.

Since you can't return a setting, I think its worth doing some major research before springing for one. You could also purchase an inexpensive temporary setting for a few hundred dollars and then let her choose a new one sometime during the engagement.

I also highly reccomend platinum as a metal. As with most things, you get what you pay for and platinum is expensive, but the strongest metal.

Finally, from the second you bring it home - INSURE IT!

LN

 

[SirFei]

Again, thanks to all who helped me out here... I would like to share the good news!

I proposed to my girlfriend on Christmas day, and she said "Yes" (not that I'd thought she would have said "no"). I got a ring that had a Blue topaz stone with some diamonds around it (to make it glitter); the Blue Topaz is the stone for December, for those who didn't know, so I thought it fitting to give on Dec. 25... That and it's the loveliest stone to me. Anyhow, wanted to let you know of the decision you all helped me come up to and that I am now engaged to a wonderful woman... We're planning on May 22 of this new year.

~Marc

 

[Warrior Poet]

Awsome man Congrats to you and your lady.

Warrior Poet

 

[LN]

congrats.... and INSURE IT!

 

[icebreaker]

congrats may the Lord bless your marriage to be.

 

[Empirion]

I shopped for a ring with my fiance. I guess it helped that we decided to get married before I even proposed. Shopping with her helped because I figured out exactly what style she would want and what kind of money we both wanted me to spend on it. I found the ring on my own and still managed to completely suprise her when I proposed. Don't forget to talk with her father first before presenting yourself to her.

 

[SirFei]

For those who care for an update:

My fiance and myself have been doing a lot getting ready for the marriage (which is still planned on May 22)... We ask for prayers for both of us as it can be frustrating finding what we want and making sure all goes well for everyone involved. We have started marriage counseling with our pastor (which so far has been great!). The day is nearing, and I am both excited to spend the rest of my life with her, and scared! Prayers for that as well would be greatly appreciated.

Also, I wanted to let you all know about the situation with her sister... As you can guess, she blew up when she found out (although, I wish she could have found out in a better way than she did). However, she has come to realize that I love my fiance, and she loves me back. The sister was asked to be my fiance's bride of honor, and at first she put down things she wanted to see at our wedding, and restrictions that she wanted if she was to be there at all... I will admit, this angered me quite a bit to have someone else other than God to try and put rules down on me--tell me who I can and can't have for a best man (for example). I put forth to my fiance that I did not want anyone at my wedding who would be scournful and resentful of both of us getting married, especially the brideswoman of honor. We have prayed and discussed this issue a lot, and my fiance came to the same thoughts as I have. From there, they have talked through things, and the sister has come to realize that that day will be about my fiance and myself, and our committment to each other and God, not about her. This has made things a lot easier for all of us, which I'm glad. There are still a few things the sister won't do, but we can work with them. Thank you for any and all prayers!

~Marc

 

[Ampmonster]

I'm recently engaged and your relationship sounds very familiar. the fights are to be expected because, thats just how it is. but when you come outta fights with both of you learning something new, getting your points across, and meeting in the middle somewhere,...thats how you know your doing great.
on the ring, i had the benifit of lack of surprise. so i took her to look at rings. i got a feel for which one she wanted, told her it's would be a few months before i could afford it, and then bouhgt it right before Christmas anyway and surprised the heck out of her.

god bless you guys!

 

[musikbebe]

Congratulations!!! Many blessings on you and your fiance!!

 

[John the Engineer]

Fights are not the problem, truth and love is found in how you resolve problems. Do you grow through them together and become stronger, or do you just let them brew and "Scab" over to keep on with the relationship.

It's not how your relationship fails, it's if it gets up and keeps going past failure and uses it as an opportunity to grow.