Engagement rings?

[Bky1]

A question for all, what do you think is most important about an engagement ring? Is it the cost or the symbol? Would it have to be personal to you?

My bf has this opinion that he has to have enough money to buy me a 'good enough' ring, I'm not entirely sure what he means by that, any guys care to shed light on what the term 'good enough' could mean?

 

[pepperfish]

I think what the ring symbolizes is infinitely more important than how much it costs. I mean, sure it's ALSO important to pick out a ring that looks nice and one that you will be proud to wear every day...but I don't think the fact that it cost x amount of money makes it better than another ring...

Actually, my SO is obsessing over this issue recently too. We've gone to a few different jewelry stores to look at engagement rings and so I could try a few on (I'm not sure how common it is that the girl actually helps the guy to pick out the ring...but he and I decided that it's best if we look at them together, and then he'll have a great idea of what to choose when he is ready to propose!). My boyfriend read that a guideline on the cost of the engagement ring is that the ring should cost the equivalent of two months' salary. *sigh* And now he's worried that I am going to expect some crazy expensive ring...haha. Anyway, my point is that unless you really, really want an expensive ring (one with a perfect and large diamond, etc.) and have your heart set on something like that, the symbolism of the ring matters more than the cost.

Oh and to answer your actual question (haha), I would just assume that by "good enough", he means a ring that is good enough for you - he probably means expensive, because unfortunately society has decided that all women are overly concerned with how much the ring costs (rather than what it stands for). He also probably means a ring that has a large diamond, which goes along with the cost aspect. I hope this helps!

I would suggest giving him some ideas of the types of rings you like - I would guess that guys stress about finding the "right" ring, and it would be helpful if they at least know if the girl prefers yellow gold over white gold, or wants smaller diamonds set around the main one...or even if she wants a ruby instead of a diamond! (I worked in a jewelry store for a year, and I was actually intrigued by the original ideas I saw for engagement rings - if I didn't love diamonds so much, I'd LOVE to have a unique engagement ring, like a peridot stone or something... *happy sigh*).

 

[gailygirl]

I'm not a guy, so I'm not going to try to figure out what they mean by "good enough," although I know a lot of guys think they need to buy a certain kind of ring for a girl.

And then, some girls have very specific desires for their ring, often very expensive desires . But I think for most girls, the meaning behind the ring is more important. I know it is to me, anyway. I hope that when the times comes, by bf will pick out a ring for me himself that will just be a symbol of his desire to commit to a life together. I'd actually prefer a smaller diamond, because big rings don't look good on me . I hope I can help him not to feel like he has to spend several months' salary (a guideline I've heard before, too) to make me happy.

So the short answer to your question: to me, the meaning is more important than the cost of the ring.

 

[Blank123]

meh... i'm one of those people who think that the sentimental value of the ring is worth much more than the monetary value. i've never understood why some girls are so fixated on price tags actually

 

[bekamorgan19]

A question for all, what do you think is most important about an engagement ring? Is it the cost or the symbol? Would it have to be personal to you?

My bf has this opinion that he has to have enough money to buy me a 'good enough' ring, I'm not entirely sure what he means by that, any guys care to shed light on what the term 'good enough' could mean?

My boyfriend and I have done some looking at engagement rings together, which, even though we're not up to getting engaged yet, has been awesome in giving him ideas and all. For me, what matters most with the ring is it's symbolism as a picture of his love, commitment and devotion to me forever. I could care less about how much it costs.

It sounds like what your guy is saying is that he thinks you're pretty amazing and he wants the ring to be perfect and amazing too. He doesn't just want to buy you some cheap ring. However, if you aren't keen on a big diamond or him spending huge amounts on your engagement ring, don't be scared to give him a gentle nudge in the right direction of the types of rings you do like. Guys don't inherently know what kinds of rings (or jewelry for that matter) that you'll like.

 

[Stolic]

meh... i'm one of those people who think that the sentimental value of the ring is worth much more than the monetary value. i've never understood why some girls are so fixated on price tags actually

My boyfriend and I have done some looking at engagement rings together, which, even though we're not up to getting engaged yet, has been awesome in giving him ideas and all. For me, what matters most with the ring is it's symbolism as a picture of his love, commitment and devotion to me forever. I could care less about how much it costs.

It sounds like what your guy is saying is that he thinks you're pretty amazing and he wants the ring to be perfect and amazing too. He doesn't just want to buy you some cheap ring. However, if you aren't keen on a big diamond or him spending huge amounts on your engagement ring, don't be scared to give him a gentle nudge in the right direction of the types of rings you do like. Guys don't inherently know what kinds of rings (or jewelry for that matter) that you'll like.

Totally agree with both you guys! Not at the point of looking myself, but hold the same views - it's making that step towards committment in marriage that counts - being led byGod of course

 

[Argent]

Let me chime in on this one:

The "two months salary" is the DeBeers Diamond Co.'s way of getting guys to spend more than what has been the average in the past. So, your guy shouldn't fall for this marketing ploy. Your guy should decide how much he can reasonably afford for the wedding set (engagement ring, her wedding band, his wedding band), and stick within that budget. God willing, the two of you will prosper and he will be able to lavish somewhat more expensive pieces of jewelry on you in the future e.g. aniversaries, mother's ring with the birth stones of all your children, ect.

A lady never accepts a gift of jewelry from a man she isn't related to. The exception is the engagement ring. A man gives a woman an engagement ring with a precious stone within his means as a sign that he is serious and not just trying to bed her by a making a promise of marriage. If a guy is spending 500.00, 1000.00 or 2000.00 or 5000.00, or whatever is withing his means, he's showing her that he is serious, and she has the proof to show her family and friends when she tells them he proposed marriage.

Prince Charles gave Princess Diana a blue saphire as an engagement ring. Of course, a few hints to the guy are helpful, like complementing married women on their rings when he's around so he gets and idea of what you like.

I think the proposal should be a surprise (but not unexpected). So, he should buy a ring he's determined that you will like and is within his means, and get down on one knee and ask you to marry him, holding the ring out to you. It could be in private, but also in public (the scoreboard at Yankee Stadium is not romantic, guys). If you say yes, then the two of you can take the ring to the jewelry shop where he bought it and have it sized to fit your finger (after you've shown it to everybody and their neighbor, of course).

Now, he wants you to be happy. So he should be very, very willing to exchange the wedding set for something more to your liking BUT IN THE SAME PRICE.
Traditionally, the man buys the set, but some women these days want to buy the man's wedding band, and no, it doesn't have to match hers.

And as far as other gifts of jewelry for women:

Parents and brothers give daughters/sisters a gold chain with a precious stone pendant or a watch for highschool granduatation. The parents give a pearl necklace for college graduation, and brothers give a diamond tennis bracelet or other bracelet or formal watch to wear to work for college graduation.

Of course, a new car is always nice too.

 

[sunshinejennii]

Well tradition is one months salary as far as im aware, and when ive browsed rings generally ive been pleasantly suprised to discover there are plenty of lovely rings that cost far less than the amount my boyfriend would make on one months placement salary (i.e he'll be earning significantly more by the time engagment is likely) so basically he can pick whatever he'd like on my finger.

I think good enough means that it is making a significant dent in his pocket, its something he'll have saved or budgeted for, which can be important to a guy, he wants to feel he's treating you, its not going to be as extravagent as it would be if he saved for years more, but its be no means an embarassment and you'll be proud to wear it.

 

[Andrealin]

Diamond rings are a relatively 'new' thing in the history of the world. 100 years ago, they were totally unheard of. Even 50 years ago-- they were not so common.
In 1880 a company called De Beers Consolidated Mines, LTD, came up with the marketing plan to put diamonds in the forefront of retail business. Platinum was used primarily in the making of rings. In the 20's and 30's, during the depression, less folks were buying diamonds because they simply didn't have the money.
Then during WW II platinum was banned for all but war use and so the platinum diamond engagement rings as we know them today almost died out.
De Beers started a marketing program that began in 1947. The slogan: "A Diamond is forever" was born. This was to mark the beginning of a change in the history of the engagement ring.
Subsequent campaigns would convince families to hold on to their diamonds as family heirlooms... and it worked! Used diamonds were not being released back into the industry which in turn created the demand that De Beers were seeking.
Jewelers were unofficially educated by De Beers to instruct men that two to three months personal wages were an ideal price to pay for the diamond engagement ring that their prospective fiancée's would gladly accept.
In 1953 the world's two most glamorous women of the time Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell were the stars of the hit film musical Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.
The plot involves Monroe and Russell chasing potential husbands on a cruise to France. The movie also features a very famous song sung by the blonde bombshell Marilyn Monroe, Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend.

 

[MandiMarie]

Oh, it is by far more important what the ring stands for! I could get a ring from a little 25 cent machine thing and still be happy (granted, I would eventually want a real ring cause i love LOVE diamonds). I also think it is sad that there is so much pressure on a guy to buy an "expensive" ring. I was listening to the radio the other day and there was an ad that tried to make it sound like we all go comparing rings. And they wouldn't want to be "embarrased" if we have the smallest ring of the group. I'd be happy with anything my man got me!

 

[Paddington]

Definitely the symbol. I think the typical diamond ring is lovely but I'd want one that is a bit different because my boyfriend knows I'd like it - e.g I love emeralds, I'd rather have an emerald than a diamond.
But, it could be the cheapest thing on the planet and if it came from the heart I wouldn't care. Expensive things aren't what holds a relationship together.

 

[sunshinejennii]

Yeah it's not the cost, you can get something that looks pretty, means a lot, is personal to the girl/relaionship and is in no way a stretch to pay for!

 

[MrsSeptemberPenguin]

Its definitely not the cost. Its the thought behind it, and if his promise holds true.

 

[emilina22]

the cost isnt what matters to us...i know we have my ring picked out and although it may be on the expensive side he choose it and the reason that he did choose the setting he did was becasue his family has handed down the stone we will be using in my setting (a 3 carat asscher) the value of this stone is unrealistically high his sister and i had gotten it appraised recently and the jeweler had told us the stone if we were to selll it which were not becasue its an heirloom and its been in his family for forever we can sell it for close to 65,000....to me thats insane that people in real life spend that much on a stone!!!!...even if we hadnt received this gift from his family i would have been happy with anything he got for me.....

 

[Freak4Dell]

Well...I'm young, so you can choose to ignore what I say, but I can offer a guy's perspective. I haven't gotten to the engagement ring dilemma yet, but I know that for some guys, the only way we know how to show we care is by buying you nice expensive things. Of course, I'm sure that your boyfriend knows more ways to show his love, but when it comes to something as important as an engagement ring, there's just that desire to give you girlfriend the best, and we sometimes worry about that more than the costs. We do realize that you will love us even if we don't spend a lot, but I know that I personally wouldn't feel good unless I worked my butt off to get my girl (whenever I get one, that is) the nicest things, whether it's just a stuffed animal or an engagement ring. Remember, guys don't always pick up on things very quickly, and we can get carried away in our caring for you, so it's okay for you to sit us down and maybe bring us back to reality.

 

[Steph725]

Most definitely the symbol is the most important to me. I personally do not want a super fancy/expensive ring. I have browsed before and have seen plenty of nice rings that only cost a few hundred dollars, as opposed to thousands. I want my boyfriend to get me an engagement ring that he has picked out himself to be a symbol of his love and lifetime commitment to me.

 

[khakigirl]

A question for all, what do you think is most important about an engagement ring? Is it the cost or the symbol? Would it have to be personal to you?

My bf has this opinion that he has to have enough money to buy me a 'good enough' ring, I'm not entirely sure what he means by that, any guys care to shed light on what the term 'good enough' could mean?

I feel that the symbol is all that matters. If my boyfriend buys me an expensive ring, we are going to sell it after the wedding. We don't really care about material things. If I had it my way, we'd get a really inexpensive ring because it's only temporary. I am not really materially motivated. I love my boyfriend and can't wait to be his wife so what does a stupid piece of metal mean in the course of our entire lives together?

 

[ANurseInChrist]

A question for all, what do you think is most important about an engagement ring? Is it the cost or the symbol? Would it have to be personal to you?

My bf has this opinion that he has to have enough money to buy me a 'good enough' ring, I'm not entirely sure what he means by that, any guys care to shed light on what the term 'good enough' could mean?

First of all there's "Ebay!"

Second of all... if anyone is worried about the cost of something they are focused on the WRONG reason for getting the ring. Expensive or inexpensive... doesn't matter. In today's world, the girl should be proud that the man even gives her a ring and that he's focused on a budget for their life together.
When my b/f puts a ring on my finger, I will be proud to wear it no matter what it costs or looks like. Yes, I've said my peace because he asked, but that's his final decision. It's from his heart after he's prayed about it and knows he wants to marry me. The ring is a symbol of love, not money.
Guys do want to buy that special ring and they want their women to show it off. It's a 'guy thing'. They will get opinions from their dad, friends, etc about what to buy, but ultimately it's the love of the guy that says everything. I've never seen any woman say "Oh my, how cheap!" I've always heard women squeal with delight getting a ring or looking at their friend's ring when they get one. It's the moment of love that you will never repeat and that's what the ring symbolizes.

 

[cslrwilliams]

And I Am The Luckiest Man In The World To Be Boyfriend To Anurseinchrist Who Wrote The Post Just Above!!! I Thank God Everyday For Sending Me His Special Angel!!!! I Am So Blessed!!!

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

The importance to me is the symbolism behind it. However, I'm not going to pretend I don't want a nice ring either.