Engaged is this normal?

[Yahyra Velazquez]

Na

 

[messianist]

I had some conflict with my fiancé today and I need some Godly advice. I brought up getting furniture for the room we will share when once we get married. He lives with his parents and I’ll be moving into their home. He became upset and said there was not enough space and was not planning on moving any of his things around. I thought it was odd that he had not considered that once we are married would have to make space for me and that it would become our room. We are getting married in a month. He became angry and said I was taking over everything. He told me that I reorganized his closet and put my cloths in their without him wanting them their. I asked before I did any of those things and he even thanked me for organizing the closet when I did it. I’m confused. Am I being controlling?

I personally don't think you are being controlling, and can totally understand you wanting to make the room accommodating for you both as you become one.

It might be a sign to put the breaks on and think carefully before you get married specially moving into his side of the family.

I know from my own experience how hard it is to live with somone in there family home and personal I didn't find it easy.

Take a step back talk with your own parents if you can, and think about this long and hard as this is a big moment on your life.

I hope whatever you do works out for you.

 

[Jeshu]

His attitude sounds very immature and selfish. Are you sure you want to live with that, for please don't think he change his attitudes in hurry if he hasn't up to now. It may well bite you in the bum.

(i was in love with my wife Yvonne a month before we got married and would have been delighted if she came and shared my room with me. 38 years later i am still in love with her, even more so than then, and am delighted she shares my room with me.

 

[St_Worm2]

Hello @Yahyra Velazquez, surely you two are or have been receiving marriage counseling from your pastor, yes? If you are done with marriage counseling, then I would call and make an appointment to see your pastor again (with your fiance, of course) so that he can help the two of you work through this issue (and others, if need be) before you are married.

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage, BTW

Praying for you.

God bless you!

--David
p.s - oh, and WELCOME TO CF

 

[GaveMeJoy]

Inadvertent post

 

[ReesePiece23]

Well, that's just going to be awful for you...

He's marrying you and moving you into his room, which means that it's not HIS room anymore. Tell him to put Buzz and Woody up in the loft with the rest of his toys. He needs to grow up - fast.

 

[Tolworth John]

Original post gone.

There is an urgent need for both parties to sit down and talk.

If he is denying or not remembering giving permission to move his things then there is a problem there.
That needs to be talked over preferably with a third party there.
If he is not willing to do this, do not Mary him.

 

[bèlla]

Since the tipping point was related to purchasing furniture, you may want to consider if finances are a sensitive issue. After all, you’re moving in with his parents. If money is tight unnecessary expenses can be a strain.

Things needn’t be perfect at the beginning. This is a time of great stress for many. Take a deep breath and listen to him. Try to understand the bigger issue behind his comments.

~Bella