Endless Family Fighting

[blondebriana]

Hi, my family has been struggling with our relationships with each other. Background info: I am 18 and my sister is 19. We both still live at my parents house. My sister and my dad always seem to get into huge arguments over the silliest little things. My sister has built up such a large hatred towards my family. I am not entirely sure why, but it is really hurting all of us. She cusses at us, calls us horrible names, threatens to run away, and just so many other hurtful things. She feels like she is unloved or that I am the favorite child. She thinks this because she is mainly the only one that gets into trouble (because she causes trouble) and I usually just stick to myself and try to be the peacemaker. I am not trying to force her to love us, but it feels like it has gotten so bad and its a never ending cycle of her and my dad fighting and turning a somewhat peaceful family dinner into a "I'm running away and never coming back" scenario. My mom and I don't know what to do. My mom tries to back up my dad, but of course this leads to issues: my sister claiming that its unfair and cruel that she never takes her side. Then if my mom doesn't back up my dads side then she is wrong as well. It feels a never ending battle with no victory in sight. I can't do anything without being yelled at by my sister to mind my own business. For background info: I am more of a peacemaker and I try to calm everybody down, but I have recently learned to just shut my mouth and cry in my room. I know everything happens for a reason and that God has some bigger purpose for me going through this, but it truly hurts and I don't know what to do. Whenever I try to talk to them about our relationship problems, its like talking to a brick wall. They are all too stubborn. I love them all, but I don't want anyone to get hurt from this (physically and mentally). I just genuinely need advice and prayers! Please help me.

 

[seeking.IAM]

Nineteen-year-olds don't run away. They move out.

It seems like this is your parents' problem to solve. It's their house, and their daughter causing an unhappy climate. They have to decide if they want to live with it. If I were you, I'd leave them to figure it out, while trying to accept that I am powerless to change other people or decide for them.

 

[tturt]

Sorry that this is the situation. She definitely feels rejected.

Just keep honoring your parents. Also, it can be difficult but when you say something a "soft answer turneth away wrath..." (Pro 15:1).

praying.

 

[mama2one]

19 yr olds are adults
she probably wants freedom but is stuck living at home

hopefully she is either in college OR working & saving money to move out eventually

 

[timf]

You might want to explore conversation with her alone in which you might try to find out what here ambitions, hopes, and dreams are. She may have a sense of hopelessness that manifests as anxiety and causes her to say and do things that reinforce a sense of hopelessness.

 

[carolina16]

I see the devil in the discussions. Keep doing your things.

 

[Tolworth John]

Whenever I try to talk to them about our relationship problems, its like talking to a brick wall. They are all too stubborn. I love them all,

May I suggest asking your sister to do something with you, go shopping, walk in the park etc and away from home ask her what she wants to do, work, college wise?
Talk about her, her hopes, planes etc.
If she talks about favouretism in the family or bias etc, ask her why do you think that and what evidence do you have for that.
Again let her talk.

Your role is that of listener, helping her talk, supporting her emotionally.

Only offer advise if she asks you for advice.