Me and my girlfriend are trying to serve Jesus, and both have been saved for at least 4 years each. We have messed up and have had sex a few times. We broke up to recover and just seek God and ended getting back together, trying to get some Men and Women of God to keep us accountable. They said they would, and we even made a contract that we would commit to a year of being pure and we wouldn't touch, kiss, or nothing. We of course messed up, and we didn't break up. I love this girl, she loves me. We tried to make and keep boundaries but to no avail. We both want to obey God and have our relationship restored from the damage incurred by not staying pure. I need some advice and help. I want to marry her, and this is our next goal. I am trying to save up money so I can support us both and pay for the wedding. I want to serve God and stop messing up!
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CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
End of the road...
- Thread starter Dmtj82
- Start date
ephraimanesti
Senior Veteran
Dmtj82 said:
MY DEAR BROTHER,
Perhaps the first step in your serving God might be to start taking responsibility for your actions--your so-called "messing up" is actually choosing to willfully sin. Sex is not a driving passion which you can't control if you CHOOSE to, and your "inability to keep boundaries" is not an accidental occurance but a premeditated indulging of the flesh. Beware of hypocrisy in this situation.
It is like in Alcoholics Anonymous where i got clean an sober. In Meetings when a member would be talking about have a "slip, it was pointed out to them, rather forcefully, "That ain't no slip--you CHOSE to get messed up. The bottle didn't accidentially jump into your hand."
If you and your girlfriend are serious about obeying God--THEN OBEY GOD. It's really kind of simple. But above all, be honest with yourselves--and God--about what is going on.
MUCH LOVE IN CHRIST,
ephraim
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Anti Existance
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Hun, if you two really love eachother then having sex is only a natural thing. Its a way of how we give and receive love. By breaking that up you are only breaking up the bond that you have together , spiritually as wel as physically. What is formed by love God does not break apart.
Rejoice in the lord, and enjoy eachother. For what is better,i know many married couples who have sex and do not love eachother ,for its only a man made legal note, the love that is in your hearts for eachother is what actually makes two become one flesh as the bible describes it.
Rejoice in the lord, and enjoy eachother. For what is better,i know many married couples who have sex and do not love eachother ,for its only a man made legal note, the love that is in your hearts for eachother is what actually makes two become one flesh as the bible describes it.
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ascribe2thelord
Punk Rock Christian
Personally, I know it might not sound like the "wisest" choice according to the world, but... if you love this girl then why don't you just hop in and marry her, promise yourself to her for the rest of your lives? You can have anyone do it. It doesn't even have to be in your own church, or by ministers your parents want. Go to Vegas if you please.
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ephraimanesti
Senior Veteran
Anti Existance said:
MY DEAR BROTHER,
What you are suggesting to an unmarried couple in dire need of sound Scriptural guidance is that they commit what the Bible strongly condemns as "fornication." My Dictionary defines "fornication" as: "VOLUNTARY SEXUAL INTERCOURSE BETWEEN TWO UNMARRIED PERSONS."
Sex,. of course, it not evil, for it is a gift of God. But sex outside of marriage is immoral, for it violates God's law. My Bible states regarding this activity: "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: "THAT YOU SHOULD ABSTAIN FROM FORNICATION"(I Thessalonians 4:3); "But FORNICATION AND ALL UNCLEANNESS or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as it fitting for saints" (Ephesians 5:3); "NOR LET US COMMIT FORNICATION as some did, and in one day twenty-three thousand fell"(I Corinthians 10:3); etc., etc., etc.
Counseling someone to commit a grevious sin and "rejoice in the Lord" while they do it, is beyond my ability to understand. May you repent and perhaps take steps to undo any Spiritual harm you may have done by your "counsel". LORD HAVE MERCY!
IN CHRIST,
ephraim
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UnitynLove
Guest
We have all fallen down at one time or another...not just physically but also emotionally. And picking yourself back up again is, unfortunately, easier said than done.
It doesn't take any special talent to give up, to lie down on the roadside of life and say, "I quit!" In fact, the road to chronic discouragement, hopelessness, and despair, often begins with an ordinary day that ends up piled high with simple disappointments.
According to Webster, to disappoint is "to fail to satisfy the hope, desire, or expectation of." In other words, when we set ourselves up to hope for something and that hope is not met, then we become disappointed. We feel let down and betrayed.
Let's face itnone of us is ever going to get to the place in life where we have no more disappointments. We can't expect to be sheltered from every little thing. Disappointment is a fact of life...one that must be dealt with. If not, discouragement and devastation are never far away.
Too often people end up devastated and don't understand why. They seemed to be going along just fine, and now they've fallen by the roadside without knowing how or why. Many people don't realize that the problem could have started a long time ago with simple disappointment that they failed to work through.
Deep hurt doesn't just come from huge disappointments, like when we fail to get the job or promotion we really wanted. Deep emotional hurt can even come from a series of minor annoyances and frustrations.
That's why we must know how to handle the small disappointments we encounter daily and keep them in perspective. Otherwise, they can get out of hand and be blown up out of proportion.
For example, imagine that you start out your day behind schedule, so you are already frustrated. On the way to the office, unexpected traffic delays cause you to be even later. Then when you finally get to work, you find out that someone on the job has been gossiping about you behind your back. You get some coffee to help you calm down, but you spill it all over yourselfonly making matters worse since you have an important meeting with the boss and no time to change clothes!
Facing each of those little things separately is just annoying, but when they pile up together, it becomes almost more than you can bear. Then just about that time you get a report from the doctor that's not what you were hoping and praying for. And to top it all off, your fiancé calls and threatens to break off your engagement even though the wedding invitations have already been mailed!
How will you respond? Will you be full of faith? Or will you find yourself full of fear, and on that road to disappointment and discouragement? All of those minor frustrations and disappointments with the traffic, the office gossip, and the spilled coffee have set you up for a major calamity. And when you have to face some really serious problems like sickness or a failed relationship, you find that you don't have the means to deal with itso you fall, plunging headlong into hopelessness and despair.
What are you to do when disappointment comes? When it weighs upon you like a rock, you can either let it press you down until you become discouraged and even devastated, or you can use it as a steppingstone to better things.
Learn to adapt and adjust. You can do it! Face the disappointment at its onset and be quick to make any adjustments required to remedy the situation. God has better things for you, and He will help you. He says in Hebrews 13:5, "...I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support...[I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down.... Instead of concentrating on your problems and getting discouraged, focus on God and meditate on His promises for you. Yes, you may have fallen down but you don't have to stay down. God is ready, willing and able to pick you up.
It doesn't take any special talent to give up, to lie down on the roadside of life and say, "I quit!" In fact, the road to chronic discouragement, hopelessness, and despair, often begins with an ordinary day that ends up piled high with simple disappointments.
According to Webster, to disappoint is "to fail to satisfy the hope, desire, or expectation of." In other words, when we set ourselves up to hope for something and that hope is not met, then we become disappointed. We feel let down and betrayed.
Let's face itnone of us is ever going to get to the place in life where we have no more disappointments. We can't expect to be sheltered from every little thing. Disappointment is a fact of life...one that must be dealt with. If not, discouragement and devastation are never far away.
Too often people end up devastated and don't understand why. They seemed to be going along just fine, and now they've fallen by the roadside without knowing how or why. Many people don't realize that the problem could have started a long time ago with simple disappointment that they failed to work through.
Deep hurt doesn't just come from huge disappointments, like when we fail to get the job or promotion we really wanted. Deep emotional hurt can even come from a series of minor annoyances and frustrations.
That's why we must know how to handle the small disappointments we encounter daily and keep them in perspective. Otherwise, they can get out of hand and be blown up out of proportion.
For example, imagine that you start out your day behind schedule, so you are already frustrated. On the way to the office, unexpected traffic delays cause you to be even later. Then when you finally get to work, you find out that someone on the job has been gossiping about you behind your back. You get some coffee to help you calm down, but you spill it all over yourselfonly making matters worse since you have an important meeting with the boss and no time to change clothes!
Facing each of those little things separately is just annoying, but when they pile up together, it becomes almost more than you can bear. Then just about that time you get a report from the doctor that's not what you were hoping and praying for. And to top it all off, your fiancé calls and threatens to break off your engagement even though the wedding invitations have already been mailed!
How will you respond? Will you be full of faith? Or will you find yourself full of fear, and on that road to disappointment and discouragement? All of those minor frustrations and disappointments with the traffic, the office gossip, and the spilled coffee have set you up for a major calamity. And when you have to face some really serious problems like sickness or a failed relationship, you find that you don't have the means to deal with itso you fall, plunging headlong into hopelessness and despair.
What are you to do when disappointment comes? When it weighs upon you like a rock, you can either let it press you down until you become discouraged and even devastated, or you can use it as a steppingstone to better things.
Learn to adapt and adjust. You can do it! Face the disappointment at its onset and be quick to make any adjustments required to remedy the situation. God has better things for you, and He will help you. He says in Hebrews 13:5, "...I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support...[I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down.... Instead of concentrating on your problems and getting discouraged, focus on God and meditate on His promises for you. Yes, you may have fallen down but you don't have to stay down. God is ready, willing and able to pick you up.
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Anti Existance
Guest
ephraimanesti , i thank you for your reply.
I only listen to Jesus, and not to Paul who persecuted Jesus. Paul teaches old Jewish traditions that Jesus wanted to get rid off. Since Jesus is the son of God, and quite frankly im anti-paulus, he has made many people feel very very guilty about what they do , Paulus even suggests that woman wear headscarves like Muslims, no christian woman i know off does that, or should do that. He has portraited homosexuality as a sin, making Christians not understand what God means with homo's, who are still Gods children and making us christians into homo haters, and sinners. he persecuted Christians and sentenced them to death thinking he was serving the lord, Jesus did not say for no reason that paulus was backfiring his hand into the spikes with his actions and saved his soul.
However as a result i have become very anti-paulus. I once was a severe homo hater,because of his teachings until i got whistled back by God For has showed me the real meaning of marriage, why gaysexuals exist, and how the bond of love is holy,supreme and above the laws of mankind.
ephraimanesti if you could ever accept. For a bible is a mere 'stepping' stone that leads us back to God. You can't possibly 'fully understand God' with merely the bible, for God is so much more. In his infinite love these two people have bonded their hearts to eachother and to God. Must they seperate because 'paul' said so in a letter of more then 2000 years ago? The only thing that should be seperated is pauls teachings from the bible.
I only listen to Jesus, and not to Paul who persecuted Jesus. Paul teaches old Jewish traditions that Jesus wanted to get rid off. Since Jesus is the son of God, and quite frankly im anti-paulus, he has made many people feel very very guilty about what they do , Paulus even suggests that woman wear headscarves like Muslims, no christian woman i know off does that, or should do that. He has portraited homosexuality as a sin, making Christians not understand what God means with homo's, who are still Gods children and making us christians into homo haters, and sinners. he persecuted Christians and sentenced them to death thinking he was serving the lord, Jesus did not say for no reason that paulus was backfiring his hand into the spikes with his actions and saved his soul.
However as a result i have become very anti-paulus. I once was a severe homo hater,because of his teachings until i got whistled back by God For has showed me the real meaning of marriage, why gaysexuals exist, and how the bond of love is holy,supreme and above the laws of mankind.
ephraimanesti if you could ever accept. For a bible is a mere 'stepping' stone that leads us back to God. You can't possibly 'fully understand God' with merely the bible, for God is so much more. In his infinite love these two people have bonded their hearts to eachother and to God. Must they seperate because 'paul' said so in a letter of more then 2000 years ago? The only thing that should be seperated is pauls teachings from the bible.
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ephraimanesti
Senior Veteran
Anti Existance said:
LORD HAVE MERCY!LORD HAVE MERCY!:
LORD HAVE MERCY!MY DEAR BROTHER,
MAY OUR LORD BLESS AND KEEP YOU, AND MAY HE LEAD YOU OUT OF THE DARKNESS INTO HIS LIGHT!
ephraim
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