Emotions/guy

[smfrie]

My relationship with my guy friend kind of happened randomly. He is 10 years younger and had a crush on me when I worked at his school. After he graduated, we became friends. I have kind of been like an older sister to him and care about him very much. I believe God brought me in his life for a reason. For whatever reason, I am not exactly sure yet. I love and care for him as much as I do my female best friend.

Lately though I have been struggling with my feelings for him. I think about him often and miss him a lot. *side note: we are currently in separate countries* If I could spend every day with him, I would. There's always this voice in my mind that says 'I wish I could marry him'. The thing is though, when I am with him, I don't have any butterflies. No "tinglies" when he touches my hand, no beating of the heart. If I truly did like him more than a friend, wouldn't I have these feelings? I do get butterflies sometimes. Just recently when he came to visit, I was waiting at work for him to come. I was a nervous wreck! Another time, I was thinking about him and didn't know he was there. I heard his voice and my heart went crazy. I also cry so much when I have to say goodbye to him. I would do the same thing with my girl friend though. Am I just making it complicating 'cause he is a guy?

However I feel though, I just have my heart set on marrying him. He makes me happy and I feel comfortable around him. Realistically though, I know it will not happen for several reasons...but still I hope.

I dunno. What do you think? Please help me sort my crazy emotions.
(I'm writing this before bed, so sorry if the wording is a bit off--I hope it makes sense)

 

[miss-a]

Well, I'm writing this before bed so forgive me for being brief. I would encourage you to pray about every response you get. Get quiet with the Lord and ask Him if He is in these responses.

Here what I can tell you. It is resonating more and more with me that the ideal would be to become friends with a man first. I wouldn't see myself seeking out men friends in hopes they would become romantic, but if a male friend developed, and I found myself forming a crush on him or desiring it to move in a romantic direction, my plan is to discuss it with him, to pray for the right time and that we would both seek the Lord's will, and then discuss it with the guy.

For me the discussion would be very simple. "So-and-so, you are a wonderful friend, and I need to tell you, I'm getting a crush on you...." I'm not sure what I'd say after that, but it's all hypothetical at this time in my life. If and when the time comes, I'm sure I'll figure out what to say even if I stumble a little.

That's what I picture myself doing. I know me enough to know I couldn't hold it back. And I'd need to know where my friend stood. I'm not sure it's the answer for you, but it's an option to pray about.

Blessings and prayer,
a

 

[dayhiker]

Sounds like you two have a great relationship. Praise God for that.

I think its common as we mature and have had more experiences that the emotions aren't always as powerful as they were in our teens into our 20's. Sounds like that transition is what your experiencing to me.

Sounds like it could be a good marriage from what you said, but you say it can't happen for a number of reasons, so you have a friend and your husband will be someone else from what you said.

But I agree with miss-a, I think you need to work on communicating these feelings to him and getting him to tell you his feelings. One of the major reasons my marriage failed is communication. So I'd say it will benefit you a whole lot to work on that.