Embarassing question.

[SoC]

It is rape. He forced you beyond where you wanted to go. Honestly, here's a few things I would encourage you to do.

- Kick him in the junk. Hard. Maybe more than once. Then walk away and never look back.
- Tell the police. Rape is a crime. He needs to be punished. More than a hard kick(s) to the junk. (If I knew someone that had raped a girl I would be hard pressed to not castrate him with a rusty spoon, but that's me)
- Seek the counsel of a trusted adult. Parents, pastor, best friend's mom, someone. Talk it out and deal with the feelings that are going to be haunting you for a while now. Don't hold it in.

Now, I'm not saying it was a smart choice going so close to the line in the first place, but that doesn't make you being raped your fault. My last bit of advice would be to learn from this and not get so close to having sex with any future boyfriends. The Bible says to avoid sin like the plague, not skirt the edge of it.

 

[Hottdogs]

thats very Sad You need to talk to someone

 

[JacobHall86]

I dont think you should file rape charges, with what you have said it wont hold up in court, regardless of what it seems like.

Right or wrong, this would not stand in a courtroom as rape.

 

[UBERROGO]

Its kind of fuzzy since you were down with having sex at first, then all of a sudden wanted to stop.

 

[UBERROGO]

It is rape. He forced you beyond where you wanted to go. Honestly, here's a few things I would encourage you to do.

- Kick him in the junk. Hard. Maybe more than once. Then walk away and never look back.
- Tell the police. Rape is a crime. He needs to be punished. More than a hard kick(s) to the junk. (If I knew someone that had raped a girl I would be hard pressed to not castrate him with a rusty spoon, but that's me)
- Seek the counsel of a trusted adult. Parents, pastor, best friend's mom, someone. Talk it out and deal with the feelings that are going to be haunting you for a while now. Don't hold it in.

Now, I'm not saying it was a smart choice going so close to the line in the first place, but that doesn't make you being raped your fault. My last bit of advice would be to learn from this and not get so close to having sex with any future boyfriends. The Bible says to avoid sin like the plague, not skirt the edge of it.

Dont listen to this guy cause

1. Kicking people in the junk days after an 'assault' gets you put in jail for assault.

2. spoons dont cut.

3. Go ask your religious leader what to do.

 

[Sketcher]

It doesn't really sound like rape to me, with the mixed signals and condom talk and all.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

It doesn't really sound like rape to me, with the mixed signals and condom talk and all.

Even though it might not fly with a jury, she said no. That is all that is required legally. That certainly doesn't mean that it is a win- able case. And then there's the refusal to use a condom. He verbalized that he knew she wanted him to use a condom and refused. That sounds like it could be an assault.

 

[Sketcher]

Even though it might not fly with a jury, she said no. That is all that is required legally. That certainly doesn't mean that it is a win- able case. And then there's the refusal to use a condom. He verbalized that he knew she wanted him to use a condom and refused. That sounds like it could be an assault.

For something to be an assault, it would need to be violent. This sounded more like an accident.

 

[lilyy]

Just an update. I am not pregnant and all tests came back clear. What a sigh of relief! Anyway I wanted to thank everyone for their pm's and prayers, they helped alot. No, I'm not gonna press charges, he has apologised and I have forgiven him, we are just friends now. For the poster that said it wasn't rape cuz it wasn't violent, not all rapes are violent. I didn't come hear for pitty or for people to gang up on him. When I came here I was hurting and confused, and upset. There is no doubt that what took place was rape,(thinking back on it) unless you have had sexual relations,which required force, with a woman who tried to fight you off with her legs, and said stop more than once. If you don't see that as a clear violation,then I have nothing else to say.

 

[SoC]

Glad to hear you aren't pregnant. I don't think it's smart to be friends with this guy if he forces himself on girls, but it's your life, not mine.

Dont listen to this guy cause

1. Kicking people in the junk days after an 'assault' gets you put in jail for assault.

2. spoons dont cut.

3. Go ask your religious leader what to do.

Um...

1. A guy who rapes a girl deserves any and all junk-kicks he gets. And he'd be pretty darn stupid to file assault charges on junk-kicking when he just raped her a while ago.

2. That was entirely the point. It would hurt more. Call me vengeful, but I really don't like rapists and think they should be castrated to keep them from repeating/breeding later in life. By castrated, I mean that "it" should be cut completely off.
[EDIT: I mean this part froma governmental point of view, not personally. IE: I blieve that this should be the punishment for repeat sexual offenders, but not a thing should be done in revenge. The Bible teaches us forgiveness and to leave the punishment of criminals to the government. This would certainly keep them from repeating. And the rusty spoon is optional. ]

3. Not everyone's comfortable with their pastor, but they still need to talk about issues like this. That's why I suggest any trusted adult.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

For something to be an assault, it would need to be violent. This sounded more like an accident.

.a sudden, violent attack; onslaught: an assault on tradition. 2.Law. an unlawful physical attack upon another; an attempt or offer to do violence to another, with or without battery, as by holding a stone or club in a threatening manner. 3.Military. the stage of close combat in an attack. 4.rape1. –verb (used with object) 5.to make an assault upon; attack; assail.
Please note definition 2. I don't have my penal code book handy and that would've been my first choice. I'm very glad she isn't pregnant or the recipient of any STI's, but that is a real possibility with unprotected sex. Exposing someone to life changing/ending circumstances against their will sounds like assault to me.

 

[Hope_0004]

Well, I haven't read all of the other responses, but it sounds like you have started to figure things out for yourself, which is really the point, right?

I don't know that any of us really have all of the information to determine whether or not someone was raped at this point. There could be the scenario where a person might say the word "no", or "this is bad" or "we really should use a condom"... all the while continuing on with foreplay so that whatever was said is obviously not a directive to stop, and in fact may come across as seductive. There is "no means yes"... and we have all done it... as in saying, "I definitely shouldn't have another cookie" but then eating it.

Then there's rape. Someone knows if they have been raped or not - if they said no, meant no, and didn't agree to or want what was happening to them.

We just don't have enough information to be the judge and jury of either party.

Regardless, though - you obviously feel betrayed by this person, and I think you should see someone and talk to them about it. But if you really think he "raped" you, I don't think that being his friend is such a stellar idea at this point. If he's the kind of guy who rapes someone, I would think you'd want him to get a lot of help before you'd ever be friends with him, and I wouldn't feel safe with him either.

 

[lilyy]

Not friends where we see each other every day and hang out. I'm not going to try and prove that my NO meant NO. I blamed myself when it first happened, and part of me felt I deserved it. I'm not going back to that mindset again. Again thanks to all who offered me words of support and encouragement!!!

 

[UBERROGO]

Glad to hear you aren't pregnant. I don't think it's smart to be friends with this guy if he forces himself on girls, but it's your life, not mine.


Um...

1. A guy who rapes a girl deserves any and all junk-kicks he gets. And he'd be pretty darn stupid to file assault charges on junk-kicking when he just raped her a while ago.

2. That was entirely the point. It would hurt more. Call me vengeful, but I really don't like rapists and think they should be castrated to keep them from repeating/breeding later in life. By castrated, I mean that "it" should be cut completely off and not neccesarily in a medically safe way.

3. Not everyone's comfortable with their pastor, but they still need to talk about issues like this. That's why I suggest any trusted adult.

But the bottom line is, you shouldnt be going around assaulting people, and that was your advice to her.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

But the bottom line is, you shouldnt be going around assaulting people, and that was your advice to her.

I think with the spoon comment that it was obvious he wasn't serious, just not happy with the guy's behaviour.

 

[California Dreamin']

*nothing.. just leave me alone please

 

[eatenbylocusts]

There was an article in Cosmo Girl about how girls make up stories of rape after consensual sex.

What does this have to do with her? Why would she tell strangers about it who don't know her or the guy? Honestly, this comment sounds a bit hurtful.

 

[California Dreamin']

I was just stating something.

 

[Glorianna]

This will be my last post here as I feel some are making me out to be the bad guy. Tuffguy I did try to fight him off by using my legs which did nothing. I figured he's not listening to me so why try to fight it. You can go back and read my previos post, I DID mention trying to get him off of me.Again he's only slept with two other women and they were virgins as well, so my chances of catching hiv are pretty nil. And in case anyones wondering if I'm easy and sleep around, NO! That was my first time. Great first time huh??

I am closing this report because the original poster, lilyy, is no longer going to post here. This is because of all of the mixed opinions and comments she has received.

I will open this thread if lilyy PM's me and says that she wants it re-opened, but in the meantime it is going to stay closed.