Embarassing question.

[Tuffguy]

Doesn't sound like she fought him off, sounds like she weakly protested and then gave in.

 

[Natz]

I have no clue how HIV got brought up. Were not in Africa you know...

Here's how: They had sex and HIV is transmitted a number of ways, one of which is through sexual intercourse, primarily unprotected sex.

It has not yet been proven that having sex outside of Africa will prevent the transmission of HIV or AIDS...

 

[Natz]

I know what took place that night, just wanted to talk to others to see if what I'm feeling is normal. While I didn't feel scared for my life the way some rape victims do, I felt betrayed. Not too much I left out that I did't share, besides the fact that when he pulled his pants down, my first question was.."do you have a condom". He didn't respond and went about his business.I told him to stop, told him I could get pregnant, and that's when he said he would pull out. I continued to tell him to please stop, but he was in his own little world.

I agree with post #7, seek help face-to-face, where you can set out everything that happened and make a decision from there.

If during the act the first time you said "no" was after the initial penetration I am not certain that in law it constitutes rape if he is in the process of "doing his business" and then you say "no".

BUT as far as a relationship goes, I think you are justified feeling betrayed, I'm not saying that you should start to hate him but I would not pursue a relationship with him. How can he be "in his own little world"?...as said before this speaks alot of the place you hold in his heart and mind.

 

[...butterfly...]

Oh honey I'm so sorry you had to go through that. yes, it is date rape and I'm praying for you. Hope to read an update from you soon.

 

[Tuffguy]

Every sex thread here gets turned into an HIV discussion. The odds are extremly favorable that a normal heterosexual does not have HIV. It is very very very rare that a hetero that does not do drugs or have sex with hookers will have HIV.

 

[chiyongam]

Every sex thread here gets turned into an HIV discussion. The odds are extremly favorable that a normal heterosexual does not have HIV. It is very very very rare that a hetero that does not do drugs or have sex with hookers will have HIV.

Please do not give out false information about HIV and AIDS . This is a very real disease that is killing millions of people. Its is shocking that in 2006 there is still misinformation about this disease.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

Doesn't sound like she fought him off, sounds like she weakly protested and then gave in.

They had discussed sex with a condom, not without. She asked him to use one and he refused. My Patho textbook estimates 1 in 5 American adults has Herpes virus 2. He put her at risk of pregnancy and all STI's.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

This link will allow you to research all STDs.
http://www.cdc.gov/std/stats/toc2004.htm
This link shows that 78% of women who were diagnosed with HIV in 2004 contracted it throught heterosexual sex, 20% through IV drug use. http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/factsheets/At-A-Glance.htm
The last link has stats on STDs and youth. 4,883 people between the age of 13-24 (in 33 states) were diagnosed with HIV in 2004. I bet most never thought it would happen to them.
http://www.cdc.gov/HealthyYouth/sexualbehaviors/index.htm

 

[Tuffguy]

^^ Most of which where hookers, sleeping around BIG TIME, and or doing IV drugs.

Exactly. 4,300 is an super small amount of the population (.00195%) of about 220,000,000 total USA pop. What percentage of that number is from IV drugs and homosexual behavior? If you just take a random sample at a club, you need 100,000 people there to find almost 2 people with AIDS.

I'm not saying AIDs isn't a big issue. I'm saying that your odds of getting it from a normal person in the 'burbs is like getting hit by lighting.

 

[lilyy]

This will be my last post here as I feel some are making me out to be the bad guy. Tuffguy I did try to fight him off by using my legs which did nothing. I figured he's not listening to me so why try to fight it. You can go back and read my previos post, I DID mention trying to get him off of me.Again he's only slept with two other women and they were virgins as well, so my chances of catching hiv are pretty nil. And in case anyones wondering if I'm easy and sleep around, NO! That was my first time. Great first time huh??

 

[terribletegs]

From what you have said, THIS IS RAPE. Please don't hesitate to talk to someone in real life, like the others have said.

I think it is also important that you never see this boy again. He has not respected your wishes, rights and beliefs. He raped you.

If I were you I would never, ever talk to this person again. My prayers are with you.

 

[A2597]

*Sigh*

Why is it so near impossible for people to simply LOVE, and not judge?
If we are to live by God's example through Jesus, then we should relize that Jesus didn't discriminate, He didn't tell repentent sinners that they were evil, he gave them salvation.

Lilyy was raped, pure and simple. Yea, hormones were high, but she said stop, and he didn't. She said use a condom, he didn't. she tried fighting him off, and failed.
Is she to take the blame for being raped? True, she did allow a make out session to go a little far, but that doesn't mean wanting or initiating sex. So no.

And if she has asked for God's forgivness through Christ, then she is forgiven of any wrongs she had in this instance, and what she NEEDS from us is support, not condemnation. It is not our right to judge, but it is our duty to love.

lilyy, by grace you have been saved though faith in Jesus Christ. By asking His forgivness, you are washed clean of any sin you may have commited. I do not belive being raped is a sin on your part, but on his, none the less, it matters not at this point.

Right now, you probably are in need of some counseling from a pastor or other person that can help. Via the internet, we simply are unable to offer the compassion you need. Words speak only so loud when written like this, and we don't know you well enough to truly help you heal from this emotionally.
True, we can offer advice, but in the end, I belive that a person who knows you personally, such as a pastor, would be more capable of helping you deal with this.

Good luck, and I'm praying for you.

 

[howardchou]

*Sigh*

Why is it so near impossible for people to simply LOVE, and not judge?
If we are to live by God's example through Jesus, then we should relize that Jesus didn't discriminate, He didn't tell repentent sinners that they were evil, he gave them salvation.

Lilyy was raped, pure and simple. Yea, hormones were high, but she said stop, and he didn't. She said use a condom, he didn't. she tried fighting him off, and failed.
Is she to take the blame for being raped? True, she did allow a make out session to go a little far, but that doesn't mean wanting or initiating sex. So no.

And if she has asked for God's forgivness through Christ, then she is forgiven of any wrongs she had in this instance, and what she NEEDS from us is support, not condemnation. It is not our right to judge, but it is our duty to love.

lilyy, by grace you have been saved though faith in Jesus Christ. By asking His forgivness, you are washed clean of any sin you may have commited. I do not belive being raped is a sin on your part, but on his, none the less, it matters not at this point.

Right now, you probably are in need of some counseling from a pastor or other person that can help. Via the internet, we simply are unable to offer the compassion you need. Words speak only so loud when written like this, and we don't know you well enough to truly help you heal from this emotionally.
True, we can offer advice, but in the end, I belive that a person who knows you personally, such as a pastor, would be more capable of helping you deal with this.

Good luck, and I'm praying for you.

Well said, a2597. My prayer is with you Lilyy. Remember every sin we commit is putting another nail in our savior's hand.

HC

 

[eatenbylocusts]

^^ Most of which where hookers, sleeping around BIG TIME, and or doing IV drugs.

Exactly. 4,300 is an super small amount of the population (.00195%) of about 220,000,000 total USA pop. What percentage of that number is from IV drugs and homosexual behavior? If you just take a random sample at a club, you need 100,000 people there to find almost 2 people with AIDS.

I'm not saying AIDs isn't a big issue. I'm saying that your odds of getting it from a normal person in the 'burbs is like getting hit by lighting.

The 4,883 people were only from 33 states, not the entire United States, and that is the number who were diagnosed, not total who have it in this age range. Of course there are even more who have not been diagnosed. Homosexual behaviour is a big factor, but most women are getting it through heterosexual sex.
And HIV is just one part of the issue. I didn't bring this up because I thought there was a high risk of her getting HIV; I brought it up because there was a chance of a STI because of the unprotected sex that was forced on her. That is the issue. Her choice was taken away. It doesn't make any difference what the odds are; the fact that there is any chance at all makes it wrong.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

This will be my last post here as I feel some are making me out to be the bad guy. Tuffguy I did try to fight him off by using my legs which did nothing. I figured he's not listening to me so why try to fight it. You can go back and read my previos post, I DID mention trying to get him off of me.Again he's only slept with two other women and they were virgins as well, so my chances of catching hiv are pretty nil. And in case anyones wondering if I'm easy and sleep around, NO! That was my first time. Great first time huh??

Remember that forgiveness means that you don't need to have this situation drag you down. You are a new creature. You did not deserve to have your rights violated like this, but unfortunately sometimes we put ourselves in dangerous situations. I hope that you will be able to use the situation eventually as a learning experience/comfort to others. Please don't let it be a reason to not wait until you're married before you have sex again. The wonderful thing is that you get to start over.

 

[livin4thelord8]

lilyy I was in your shoes exactly when I was 16. I got lucky though because my bf had slept with a LOT of other girls and I didn't catch anything. I believe that it is date rape and I know from experience how painful it is. You do need to talk to someone in person. But you also need to realize that God feels your pain as well and He loves you and Forgives you. My best advice is don't see him anymore. I know that will be difficult as you now have a certain 'attachment' to him after having sex, but you must for your own good. In future relationships know that you can abstain from sex and the Holy Spririt will give you strength. I kept having sex, looking for love until I got pregnant and ended up in an abusive relationship. Granted out of the relationship I came to really have a relationship with Christ and have to wonderful boys but there are easier ways to get those things. : ) Sweetie, my prayers are with you and reach to God during this time. He's the best counselor. God bless you!

Dear Heavenly Father, please hold her close to you. Help her know that you love her dealy and forgive her. Help this be a lesson to her to stay true to you and herself and help her grow from this. Please heal the wounds that have resulted and hold her close. Thank you Father for her. Whatever your will let it be done. In Jesus precious name AMEN! God bless you!!!

 

[Hediru]

I still feel like I bear a brunt of the responsibility. I hate tro admit this,but towards the end I started to enjoy the feeling. I think part of me just stopped trying to fight it. I have mixed feelings about breaking up. He's been calling but I havent answered yet.

The part of you enjoying it? That is normal. Of course your body will give into physical pleasure. But your soul doesn't have to. When your body and soul disagree, something terrible is going on. Stop trying to blame yourself for this. It is date rape, without question. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!

 

[Hediru]

Doesn't sound like she fought him off, sounds like she weakly protested and then gave in.

Were you there? Do you know what it was like for her? Then don't judge her. Granted I wasn't either, but I can sense her fear. Besides, it should only take one protest. If he truly loved and respected her, he would have stopped with one word from her.

 

[Hediru]

Every sex thread here gets turned into an HIV discussion. The odds are extremly favorable that a normal heterosexual does not have HIV. It is very very very rare that a hetero that does not do drugs or have sex with hookers will have HIV.

Yes, its rare, but not impossible. It's better to be safe than sorry.

 

[Molloyboy]

I have just read through all the posts, and i have to say that i am horrified by some peoples posts and blatent disregard for Lilyy's feelings. If people are going to post things like that then they need to seriously rethink whether they should even be on these forums!

Lilyy, I'm sure some of these posts are not what you have expecting. Sorry for some peoples posts. I hope after reading these they are being convicted to apologise.

From what you have said i agree with the majority of people saying that it was rape. Under no circumstances should anyone ignore you when you say no, thats the same in sex, kissing, touching etc.
My advice would be to break up, this is going to be hard because of the spiritual connection created but it needs to be done. It is easy to get caught up in the moment, but just because you changed your mind does not make it your fault. He still ignored you, your feelings and your beliefs.

Please dont let you faith suffer as a result, remember that God is there for you. You're relationship with God has not changed, he loves you whatever and always.

I will pray for you, and if you want to IM me then by all means you can! We all love you and are here for you.

Mark
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