eloping

[AngylBelle]

This is what we are doing.

My parents and sister are going to fly down to be apart of a small, casual ceremony with just our parents and siblings. We are going on an exotic honeymoon with all the money we've saved from not having a lavish wedding, and upon our return, we are having a Hawaiian themed beach bbq for the rest of our friends and family to celebrate with us.

Perhaps something simple like this would work for you too. That way, you don't have to feel bad about excluding family, and you have a chance to get some gifts at the party later.

 

[Leanna]

To be perfectly honest, my boyfriend and I want to just elope one day. The only down sides to that route that we can see are these:
not everyone could be there
some folks might be sad we didn't make a bigger "to do" about it
selfish note: gifts. might not get any

but we're non-traditionalist and would really rather not have the long drawn out preparation period. all those frilly details hold no attraction to me. So we'd like to have pre-marital counseling, get some nice things to wear on the day, warn our families, and then just throw a huge party later on after the honeymoon for the reception. simple, lovely, personal, special, and non-traditional. ah well. who knows if it will happen that way.


any thoughts about eloping?

Someone might have said this already.... maybe you could have a destination wedding. Plan it for immediate family only, to marry on a beach somewhere. Keep it simple to a nice dress appropriate to outdoors, no bridesmaids... and voila! People can be there and you don't have to plan as much...

I would be afraid you would miss the wedding if you didn't have one at all.

 

[SweetBella]

im from ohio, my husband is from california.... kind of like you.... we didn't know what to do at first... so complicated to find perfect spot to get married when we both had family and friends from all over ..... we decided to have an itimate wedding for two in florence, italy and also travelled to rome... it was so wonderful and perfect! we didn't have to worry about stress and we did what we wanted..... after we got home, we had a dinner party for close family and friends in california. we wouldn't change anything about it!

just to add, we didn't elope... we had a wedding coordinater that helped us out and we sent our wedding annoucments to everyone and then wedding invitations to close family and friends for the dinner party.

 

[plum]

well that sounds divine. hehe if only we could afford italy. lovely!

 

[LadyBird]

To be perfectly honest, my boyfriend and I want to just elope one day. The only down sides to that route that we can see are these:
not everyone could be there
some folks might be sad we didn't make a bigger "to do" about it
selfish note: gifts. might not get any

but we're non-traditionalist and would really rather not have the long drawn out preparation period. all those frilly details hold no attraction to me. So we'd like to have pre-marital counseling, get some nice things to wear on the day, warn our families, and then just throw a huge party later on after the honeymoon for the reception. simple, lovely, personal, special, and non-traditional. ah well. who knows if it will happen that way.


any thoughts about eloping?

Oh my gosh! You sound exactly like me...about a month ago though. My fiance and I have been together for quite a while and we just want to get the show on the road if you know what I mean. So we got engaged in November and first we were going to get married at the end of February. Then that date didn't work out because some of our wedding party wouldn't be able to make it, then we were going to try for March, but again, we weren't sure what the heck we wanted. A few days after we got engaged, I started going on a mad planning frenzy, I went out and bought my dress and was trying to do everything. I eventually ended up having severe anxiety attacks because I felt like I was under so much stress and everyone had so many expectations of OUR wedding! So I told my fiance that I either wanted to go on a destination wedding or that I probably would end up calling off our huge elaborate wedding because 1) I am so not a spotlight type girl 2) this all day "party" if you will would end up costing at least $1,000 an hour for something that I am so not interested in 3) I cant deal with the stress or pressure that comes with a wedding and 4) I don't care who is there or who isn't at our wedding, as long as I was marrying my fiance thats all that matters to me and also, my parents are divorced making the situation even more awkard.

Now, aside from all that, we pitched the idea to both sets of parents and it didn't go over well at all. I was in tears by the end our planning meeting since our parents vetoed our desitination idea wedding, or rather my destination wedding idea and I was completely left in the dark about my fiances feelings about the whole thing until I felt totally ganged up on at our meeting. So after countless talks, prayers and tears we have decided to have a big wedding. It's not exactly what I wanted, but I know it will make my fiance happy and that's what matters to me. We can go on a beautiful honeymoon to a tropical destination. And I've learned that my friend and family and in laws are all there to help me stay sane. Overall, my engagement experience has not been nice. I don't like being engaged and never want to be engaged again or for any longer than we have to be.

So the point of this post is that you and your fiance HAVE to do what makes you two happy and what works for you. I may sound like an anti-bride and perhaps I am, but I truly believe that whatever works for a couple, wedding wise, they should do regardless of what their friends and family think. Otherwise you will end up resentful.

 

[plum]

So the point of this post is that you and your fiance HAVE to do what makes you two happy and what works for you. I may sound like an anti-bride and perhaps I am, but I truly believe that whatever works for a couple, wedding wise, they should do regardless of what their friends and family think. Otherwise you will end up resentful.

i think you make a great point. i've felt this way for years and thankfully i don't have a very demanding family since i've been warning them how non-traditional I plan to be for a long time. My mother has some opinions and will I'm sure share some of them with me if she helps pay for any of it... but I am determined to enjoy the plans we make and make them for the sake of the marriage, not just for the sake of a crowd that is pleased because they got it their way. Hey, my wedding is not going to be at Burger King!

 

[KellyLeigh]

I've honestly been thinking about it, just because of how much weddings cost. Part of me wants to have the beautiful wedding that I've had in my mind since I was a little girl and then again part of me thinks that the money could be spent in a better way.

 

[ChristianGirl1286]

I wish I could elope too.

 

[beautifully_chaotic]

eloping sounds like such a good idea at the moment!
im just sick of feeling like my doing everything at my wedding to make everyone else happy! grrr

 

[Illuminite]

Since it's a once in a lifetime deal I believe to make the most out of it,share it.With as many supporters as you have, I want to look back and recall everything at our wedding. Like my parents did.

 

[Inperfected]

Eloping... Yes sounds like a great idea... We have thought of running away from town with our best friends (2 of them, for witnesses) and marrying... Few issues there... We would come home to MAD parents. 2ndly, we would then have to run away in the other town from our best friends who want to "follow" us on our honeymoon (just happen to be a troublesome couple!)

So no it's not a serious thought, but is something i feel could be easier.

 

[nahMish]

For me? i have been dissapointed when two REALLY good friends of ours went off to the islands and got married and then came back and did the whole "surprise, we're married" stuff.
a marriage isnt without COMMUNITY, and you'll come to rely and love even more the people that you invite to your wedding-they'll be the ones babysitting your kids...running church things, your kids being friends, family...etc.
cos if you think about it, your church family (not in all cases..) is integral to your relationship-theyve watched it grow up, kiss a few frogs, get together.. approved when its been good and confronted you on areas where you could improve...and been happy for you when you decided to make it official.
i love the idea of eloping, but it doesnt outweigh the love and need i have for my other significant relationships as well-cos they will be there as well when you arent in the honeymoon period anymore..and things are back to normal. you still need them

 

[feesha]

I would like to elope but my family would go crazy on me. I think I'll go through the entire ritual of ceremony and dance to please the fam.
hey, there's alway the honeymoon to look forward to . that will be my elope time

 

[Mskedi]

I'm definitely eloping. Weddings are a miserable experience for me to attend, and would be even more miserable if I were to be the center of attention, and we both have family members who would take over things and it wouldn't end up our wedding at all.

The point is the marriage. Our friends and family know us well and are a part of our relationship and have been since the beginning. No ceremony (or lack thereof) is going to change that.

Everyone knows we won't be having a wedding, and only two people care (two of the people who would make my wedding a miserable experience, mind you), so it's all fine. We'll have a big, informal party at wherever we end up living and actually be able to have fun celebrating our marriage instead of worrying about the cost or everything being just right.