Effective Communication

[Nadiine]

I know what you mean. I have seen so many women being offered up as examples of what a woman in God is like, that is so opposite of who I am that I begin to wonder what is wrong with me. In many ways, I think that is an unfair comparison to make.

I do agree that we all need to make an effort to not take offense, even when things that are said are meant to be offensive (or that is the way they come across), and I have found that the best thing for me to do is walk away for awhile before I respond because it is the heat of the moment that mostly makes my responses seem harsher than they should be.

I know what you feel when you hear the examples of a Godly woman.
What's worse is constantly hearing correction from other people for being who you are.

Honestly, sometimes the very quiet and softspoken types get on nerves becuz I feel more comfortable around people who are louder, bold and edgy, fun and less polished. I don't mean like Jerry Springer type stuff :o

Anyways, I can't say that I take offense to much - it takes alot to do that w/ me (you just build a high wall to the usual attacks & they don't bother me whatsoever) I get more angry than offended.
I should try the walk away approach & see how it works.

As it is, I curb probly 60% of what I'd like to say most of the time already.
By the time I post anything here, it's already filtered lol
It's just a matter I guess of how harshly its delivered? I really don't mind argument & contention much - being scrappy is ok with me; but I do mind it between 2 born again believers.

I remember in my other chat service my friend and I had an agnostic that we'd scrap with back and forth & sometimes it got pretty contentious - one of us would end the discussion and we'd all make sure we were ok & no hard feelings after.
He actually appreciated that approach & honesty and passion. We got farther & closer with him than any others. Not everybody is the same & prefers the same approaches; I thing God makes us all differently & we need to embrace our differences as parts of the body that can be used to reach different types of people in different ministries.

Sorry to ramble on........

 

[GreenMunchkin]

Well, also, we tend to assume people are the same as us. Like, someone who is quite abrupt (not rude, but abrupt) may be more able to cope with others being abrupt with them, so it may not necessarily occur to them that someone else is a little more sensitive. Not that the first person is uncaring, at all. No, not uncaring. Just with tougher skin, maybe.

Meanwhile, someone who is a little more timid will assume everyone is as sensitive as they are, and I an imagine that way of communicating becoming irritating to someone who's more straight forward and vocal. But, really, the body of Christ needs all types Means we form a chain that's wavy, and flowy as opposed to one that's all rigid and breakable.

(That analogy made much more sense in my head.)

But have noticed, also, that Christians who are super quick to take offense often become quite bitter gradually. I dunno. Prickly people are difficult to hug.