dumb blonde jokes, what is the worst one you heard?

[Daniel Marsh]

A blonde is out shopping when she comes across something in the store she doesn't recognize. She grabs an associate and asks him, “What is this?”

The associate looks at the product she's indicating and says, “That's a thermos.”

“Oh,” the blonde says. After a pause she asks, “What's it for?”

The associate tells her, “It keeps hot food hot and cold foods cold.”

“Oh,” the blonde says, “That's neat! I'll take it!”

At work the next day, she has the thermos with her. A co-worker comes up to her and asks, "What is that?”

The blonde replied, “It's a thermos.”

“What's it for?”

“It keeps hot foods hot and cold foods cold.”

“That's cool. What have you got in it?”

The blonde replied, “Some soup and a couple of popsicles.”

 

[Rachel20]

How to you get a blonde to run laps?

Put her in a round room and tell her to stand in the corner.

 

[tulc]

Blind guy walks into a bar and says "I just heard the best dumb blond joke ever!"
Bartender walks up to him and says "Before you say it I just want to point out I'm blond. Further more there's a blond guy sitting next to you and he's my best customer! There's a lady in the back that's my wife, she's the love of my life and she's ALSO a blond!" He then says "There's a huge man standing by the front door of this bar, he weighs 275 pounds and can bench press a car! He's also a blond! So with all that information I've just given you, you should ask yourself this one question: "Do I still want to tell that joke in here?"
The guy thought for a minute then he says "Well, not if I'm going to have to explain it 4 times I don't!"

 

[chevyontheriver]

A blonde is out shopping when she comes across something in the store she doesn't recognize. She grabs an associate and asks him, “What is this?”

The associate looks at the product she's indicating and says, “That's a thermos.”

“Oh,” the blonde says. After a pause she asks, “What's it for?”

The associate tells her, “It keeps hot food hot and cold foods cold.”

“Oh,” the blonde says, “That's neat! I'll take it!”

At work the next day, she has the thermos with her. A co-worker comes up to her and asks, "What is that?”

The blonde replied, “It's a thermos.”

“What's it for?”

“It keeps hot foods hot and cold foods cold.”

“That's cool. What have you got in it?”

The blonde replied, “Some soup and a couple of popsicles.”

Can a woke person tell a blond joke?

 

[tulc]

Can a woke person tell a blond joke?

Kind of hard for a sleeping person to type isn't it?
tulc(seldom types coherently while sleeping)

 

[GOD Shines Forth!]

All the blondes in the world were sick and tired of being made fun of, so they decided to have a meeting to prove that they are not stupid.

So the meeting leader asks a young blonde to come up and answer a few questions. The blonde comes up and the leader asks what is 1+3 to which the blonde answers 97.The crowd yells out, "Give her another chance!"

So the leader asks what is 7+6 and the blonde answers 34. The crowd yells out again, "Give her another chance!"

So the leader asks what is 2+2 and the blonde answers 4 ...and the crowd roars, "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!!!"

 

[Aussie Pete]

A blonde is out shopping when she comes across something in the store she doesn't recognize. She grabs an associate and asks him, “What is this?”

The associate looks at the product she's indicating and says, “That's a thermos.”

“Oh,” the blonde says. After a pause she asks, “What's it for?”

The associate tells her, “It keeps hot food hot and cold foods cold.”

“Oh,” the blonde says, “That's neat! I'll take it!”

At work the next day, she has the thermos with her. A co-worker comes up to her and asks, "What is that?”

The blonde replied, “It's a thermos.”

“What's it for?”

“It keeps hot foods hot and cold foods cold.”

“That's cool. What have you got in it?”

The blonde replied, “Some soup and a couple of popsicles.”

Child playing in park is approached by a woman. She grabs him and pins a note to his shirt and tells him to go home. His mother reads the note. It says, "Give me $100.00 or you will never see your child again". She sends the child off to the park with $100.00. She also sends a note. It reads, "Here is your $100.00. How could you do this to another blond?"

 

[returntosender]

I am offended by this revelry.

 

[Daniel Marsh]

Can a woke person tell a blond joke?

Yes, but if you are surrounded by blondes, go with redheads.

 

[Daniel Marsh]

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.

We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies..... "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1b1drv/finally_a_smart_blonde_joke/

 

[Daniel Marsh]

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is the Easter Bunny, and he is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees the man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.

"I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny with my car and killed him." The blonde says ,"Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead Easter Bunny, bends down, and sprays the contents onto him.

The Easter Bunny jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away he stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and asks, "What is in that can? What did you spray on the Easter Bunny?"

The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label. It says..

"Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair and adds a permanent wave."

Jokerz: The best jokes and joke writers

 

[Daniel Marsh]

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Funny Blonde Jokes | Laugh Factory

 

[Daniel Marsh]

46 SMART blond jokes ideas | blonde jokes, jokes, bones funny

 

[returntosender]

No Karen jokes?

 

[returntosender]

46 SMART blond jokes ideas | blonde jokes, jokes, bones funny

They are not blonde so?

 

[tulc]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

 

[tulc]

A brunette goes into a doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I dyed my hair. I'm naturally blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

 

[returntosender]

A brunette goes into a doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I dyed my hair. I'm naturally blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

You cheated, I've seen both of those, lol.

 

[tulc]

You cheated, I've seen both of those, lol.

I prefer to think of it as "re-gifting a joke" rather than cheating...
tulc(is just sayn')

 

[tulc]

Brunette: "Where were you born?"
Blonde: "The United States."
Brunette: "Which part?"
Blonde: "...all of me of course."