Dual

[Zita123]

Well, I am bipolar, But, This is the first time I am talking about the addiction I have.My drug of choice was pain meds. Tha's all I can say right now.
Zita

 

[GabrielW]

Hi Zita,

It's important to take care of your addiction problem, especially being bipolar. A lot of times as your addiction problem is being treated your bipolar symptoms are alleviated as well but that's not necessarily true in all cases but it will help. So in either case it's important to address that issue. How you do that is up to you whether through the church, a 12-step program or another treatment facility. But as cliché as it may seem, admitting to your addiction is a big step. So you're doing the right thing and making progress, congratulations and good luck!

Gabriel

 

[Zita123]

I have been clean 2 1/2 yrs and my addiction lasted 2 yrs. but, I just couldn't find myself telling my Christian family. I don't want to be seen different now to others.
But, Thank you for caring, I am in a womans recovery, bipolar group every thursday!! I love it!
Thank you for caring
GOD BLESS
Zita

Hi Zita,

It's important to take care of your addiction problem, especially being bipolar. A lot of times as your addiction problem is being treated your bipolar symptoms are alleviated as well but that's not necessarily true in all cases but it will help. So in either case it's important to address that issue. How you do that is up to you whether through the church, a 12-step program or another treatment facility. But as cliché as it may seem, admitting to your addiction is a big step. So you're doing the right thing and making progress, congratulations and good luck!

Gabriel

 

[GabrielW]

Nice I've been sober since November 2, 2001. And we're all a little bit different, proclaim your rarity!

 

[Zita123]

You go Gabe!!
Thank you JESUS!!!!
Zita

Nice I've been sober since November 2, 2001. And we're all a little bit different, proclaim your rarity!

 

[Zita123]

I recently told you I have almost 3 years clean from pain meds.
well, I broke my toe completely off ( skin still there ) and they gave me pain meds.
Then 2 weeks after, a van smashed into me twice!!
He was drinking and had no insurance but, again more pain meds.
Now, I have to start all over again. I don't have any cravings ( which is good) but, I lost all that sobriety becuase of things beyond my control!!
What now???
Zita

You go Gabe!!
Thank you JESUS!!!!
Zita

 

[madison1101]

I recently told you I have almost 3 years clean from pain meds.
well, I broke my toe completely off ( skin still there ) and they gave me pain meds.
Then 2 weeks after, a van smashed into me twice!!
He was drinking and had no insurance but, again more pain meds.
Now, I have to start all over again. I don't have any cravings ( which is good) but, I lost all that sobriety becuase of things beyond my control!!
What now???
Zita

Zita,
Did you abuse the meds when you were prescribed them, or did you take them as prescribed? I am an addict/alcoholic. When I had knee surgery, I took pain meds, as prescribed only. I weaned myself off them very diligently so as not to abuse them. I didn't consider myself as losing my sobriety. If I had abused the meds that would have been a different story. We talk about this situation a lot in AA.

Hugs,
Trish

 

[tiredmom]

Hi, Zita,

I too have a confession to make...I self medicated for a long time, before I was a Christian, and several times after becoming a child of God. The times during my Christian life were short-lived, and usually had a couple of years between episodes...I didn't consider myself an alcoholic, but looking at the way I drank and partied from my teens on up, before Christ, I can see it, definitely. After Christ, I really didn't think of myself as one...but now I see I was still self-medicating. See, several years ago, I was diagnosed as clinically depressed. My family dr. never went into a thorough family medical history, never asked about family and their mental health history...she then prescribed me anti-depressants. I went through two different ones, same results: mania. Sure, the depression lifted, but I was so wacked out from the AD's, I was drinking to tone down the manic feeling, and doing really stupid stuff. It was awful.

Add to that the fear of being caught, the embarassment of knowing what I was doing was wrong as a Christian, and the knowledge and sadness of watching my own mother slowly killing herself with booze, after a lifetime of self-medicvating (she was bipolar too, but never got help, even when the doc told her she was.) I was making a mess of things.

I finally quit taking the ADs, and got back on track with our last church, where we used to live. I really began to live for Him, and it was showing in our marriage and in our kids. Life was really good, in spite of the troubles. (I now think this was a remission period from the mental disorder.) The drinking stopped, and life went on.

Last year, when we moved, my mom had died, we were in a new state, I knew nobody, I had to give up homeschooling our kids, and I had a nervous breakdown, pretty much. I spent the whole winter depressed. DEEP depression, hopeless state. Even though we found ourselves in a really great church, I felt godless, unhappy. even though things were improved by our move here, I felt just horrid. I began drinking again. "Just" beer, but drinking it more and more. I finally could take no more of the depression, and found a wonderful psychiatrist who is helping me, counseling me, and working to help me learn to live with this disorder. I have the right meds, we think, and things should be looking up.

But the habit of beer drinking has been terribly hard to shake. The meds do good, when I don't drink beer; but when I do, everything is screwed up again. moodwise. I have been to my pastor, and he has been so understanding and positive about my wanting to recover and live with this illness; but I really want to talk to him, and to my p-doc about the beer thing. I still don't really think I'm an alcoholic...but I probably am.


I DO know that God loves me immensely, and I KNOW I am secure in Him. But I just want to shake this stupid habit. After all, I AM getting treatment for the bipolar disorder, so I don't need to "self-medicate" anymore. I know this. I guess I oughtta talk to my p-doc, let him know this is an issue for me, and see what he thinks I need to do. I'm tempted to talk to my pastor as well, I feel I can trust him; but this is such a small town, and I am so embarrassed to think that anyone might find out that I'm a Christian, and yet have been drinking. Heck, I'm not even really worried about anyone knowing about the bipolar! But when it comes to the urge to have that "beer buzz", I am embarrassed.

Well, gotta go, dinner to make. But I want to thank you for sharing, and thank you for listening to my stupid ramblings. I do feel better having confessed this to SOMEONE...my hubby also is worried about me, and has been trying to be patient and encouraging with me...but he is scared I am becoming like my mom. And alcohol killed her. she always drank hard liquor, and did it for at least forty years. I have only drank beer, off and on for the last several years. but he does have a valid concern, and I'm thankful he loves me enough to say something.

Gotta go!

 

[Zita123]

First, to answer the question of abusing my pain meds when my accidents happen, No, in fact, it didn't even bother me! I was so happy about this and pray to GOD with so many thanks!!
Now, I think your on the right track now by telling someone about the beer, That is really the first step in saying you have a problem, If your mom had one then it is very likely that you also have the gene. I will pray for you because the hardest thing is to know that you can drive right up to a store and legally purchase your beer, That should not be legal in my opinion!!! But, I do feel for you and give you my support. everytime you feel like drinking, come onto CF and maybe we can help, there are alot of great caring peole here!!!! This has really saved me alot of times from doing silly stuff to myself!
Well, you can talk to me anytime you like, even pm me, I'll be there to just listen if that's what you want.
GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS!!!
Zita

Hi, Zita,

I too have a confession to make...I self medicated for a long time, before I was a Christian, and several times after becoming a child of God. The times during my Christian life were short-lived, and usually had a couple of years between episodes...I didn't consider myself an alcoholic, but looking at the way I drank and partied from my teens on up, before Christ, I can see it, definitely. After Christ, I really didn't think of myself as one...but now I see I was still self-medicating. See, several years ago, I was diagnosed as clinically depressed. My family dr. never went into a thorough family medical history, never asked about family and their mental health history...she then prescribed me anti-depressants. I went through two different ones, same results: mania. Sure, the depression lifted, but I was so wacked out from the AD's, I was drinking to tone down the manic feeling, and doing really stupid stuff. It was awful.

Add to that the fear of being caught, the embarassment of knowing what I was doing was wrong as a Christian, and the knowledge and sadness of watching my own mother slowly killing herself with booze, after a lifetime of self-medicvating (she was bipolar too, but never got help, even when the doc told her she was.) I was making a mess of things.

I finally quit taking the ADs, and got back on track with our last church, where we used to live. I really began to live for Him, and it was showing in our marriage and in our kids. Life was really good, in spite of the troubles. (I now think this was a remission period from the mental disorder.) The drinking stopped, and life went on.

Last year, when we moved, my mom had died, we were in a new state, I knew nobody, I had to give up homeschooling our kids, and I had a nervous breakdown, pretty much. I spent the whole winter depressed. DEEP depression, hopeless state. Even though we found ourselves in a really great church, I felt godless, unhappy. even though things were improved by our move here, I felt just horrid. I began drinking again. "Just" beer, but drinking it more and more. I finally could take no more of the depression, and found a wonderful psychiatrist who is helping me, counseling me, and working to help me learn to live with this disorder. I have the right meds, we think, and things should be looking up.

But the habit of beer drinking has been terribly hard to shake. The meds do good, when I don't drink beer; but when I do, everything is screwed up again. moodwise. I have been to my pastor, and he has been so understanding and positive about my wanting to recover and live with this illness; but I really want to talk to him, and to my p-doc about the beer thing. I still don't really think I'm an alcoholic...but I probably am.


I DO know that God loves me immensely, and I KNOW I am secure in Him. But I just want to shake this stupid habit. After all, I AM getting treatment for the bipolar disorder, so I don't need to "self-medicate" anymore. I know this. I guess I oughtta talk to my p-doc, let him know this is an issue for me, and see what he thinks I need to do. I'm tempted to talk to my pastor as well, I feel I can trust him; but this is such a small town, and I am so embarrassed to think that anyone might find out that I'm a Christian, and yet have been drinking. Heck, I'm not even really worried about anyone knowing about the bipolar! But when it comes to the urge to have that "beer buzz", I am embarrassed.

Well, gotta go, dinner to make. But I want to thank you for sharing, and thank you for listening to my stupid ramblings. I do feel better having confessed this to SOMEONE...my hubby also is worried about me, and has been trying to be patient and encouraging with me...but he is scared I am becoming like my mom. And alcohol killed her. she always drank hard liquor, and did it for at least forty years. I have only drank beer, off and on for the last several years. but he does have a valid concern, and I'm thankful he loves me enough to say something.

Gotta go!