Dtr

[covenant914]

When should The Relationship be Defined?

I try to avoid this whenever possible. I am not in a position in my life where I want a relationship, just a lot of casual dates with as many exciting, personable, intelligent women as possible.

But curious, when do you think the relationship has progressed to the point where it has to discussed?

 

[SandyLou]

before the first date. . . just so there are no expectations on the part of the other person. It's only fair that they understand upfront.

 

[Jenster]

^^ Agree.

Although usually I'm more particular about that when I'm NOT interested in the man. In other words, it's important to me to let the guy know if this definitely ISN'T a date, because I'm not interested in casual dating.

Otherwise, I figure we'll DTR when one of us knows our dating isn't going to lead to a commitment. And if it turns out we ARE interested in one another, then we'll probably know that fairly soon too.

 

[WnW]

-I think even at the start a "just friends" is appropriate. This takes pressure off the both of you. I had an instance where I was infatuated with my "friend" and she could tell that my "just friends" wasn't sincere. We had an immediate truthing, I had to recognize how this affected her. Ultimately this truthing has led us to know each other more deeply, we're now courting. (And loving it).

 

[eatenbylocusts]

-I think even at the start a "just friends" is appropriate. This takes pressure off the both of you. I had an instance where I was infatuated with my "friend" and she could tell that my "just friends" wasn't sincere. We had an immediate truthing, I had to recognize how this affected her. Ultimately this truthing has led us to know each other more deeply, we're now courting. (And loving it).

Congratulations!

 

[Craft]

Grats WnW


Honesty is the best policy

 

[OhhJim]

When either party is uncomfortable with the lack of definition.

 

[country woman]

I agree with being upfront and honest right off. Then there is no missunderstanding. then niether person will get hurt.

 

[rjw64]

I think you define the relationship from the first time you talk to the other person. Everyone needs to be on the same page form the start.