doubts, fears, decisions

[cabsmom]

I imagine many people here can understand what I go through on a daily basis.

1. Small, insignificant (or should be) things are so hard to deal with.

2. Making decisions can be a nightmare.

3. Feeling locked inside my brain with no escape.

4. Actually having a feeling of being worn out mentally quite often.

5. Feeling like once I go to Heaven, I will finally be done with this torment. No, I am not going to speed the process, even though I sometimes feel I want to be done with life sooner rather than later.

6. Having doubts about lots of things. Then feeling guilty about the doubts.

7. Feeling bad abount letting this OCD interfere with me being a great parent. I sometimes feel as if I have failed my son. I sometimes desperately wish I could go back in time.

 

[amaui]

I can empathize with you. Ocd used to cause me great depression, worry, anxiety, condemnation, and grief. With lots of prayer, daily for yourself, and faith you can be healed. We serve a most merciful and compassionate God. Remember when you go through pain everyday, you are not alone. EVERY OUNCE OF PAIN YOU FEEL, YOUR FATHER FEELS IT WITH YOU. God feels all the pain you do, and more. He's wanting to heal you more than you want Him to heal you. Pray and get quiet and listen to His voice. He will meet you there. Trust Him. God bless you.

 

[cabsmom]

Thank you so much!!!

It is hard and there are so few people in my life to really discuss this with. Some of them know, but don't really understand.

The saddest thing is that my son has OCD. I wish so much that I could save him from this hell.

 

[JoshIcedogs]

I feel a lot of what you are feeling (not all but a lot)

You're in my prayers!

God bless!

 

[gracealone]

Yep... it can be a miserable affliction and at times I just grow so weary of it especially when it flares. I grow weary of myself for being so weak and feeling so inadequate and abnormal. But I have to admit that probably the only thing that has helped me to have some small measure of humility is my OCD. It forces me to be emptied of self and soley dependant on God which is a good thing. I can never ignore God because I need Him so much to be my strength. I often wonder what kind of person I'd be without my OCD/Panic disorder. I'm already enough of a pride filled opinionated person with my OCD so I can fully imagine how insufferable I'd be without it. So.. when I'm not beating myself up about it I can actually step back from time to time and chime in with John Bunyan that; "God doth order it for my good."
Don't despair. God specializes in using weak vessels.
Praying for you.
Mitzi

I imagine many people here can understand what I go through on a daily basis.

1. Small, insignificant (or should be) things are so hard to deal with.

2. Making decisions can be a nightmare.

3. Feeling locked inside my brain with no escape.

4. Actually having a feeling of being worn out mentally quite often.

5. Feeling like once I go to Heaven, I will finally be done with this torment. No, I am not going to speed the process, even though I sometimes feel I want to be done with life sooner rather than later.

6. Having doubts about lots of things. Then feeling guilty about the doubts.

7. Feeling bad abount letting this OCD interfere with me being a great parent. I sometimes feel as if I have failed my son. I sometimes desperately wish I could go back in time.