Doubting, specifically salvation.

[LovesTheLord4Life]

Hey folks,

I have been very successful lately at just letting the thoughts go and not fighting them. I am reading the book "Stop Obsessing: How to overcome your obsessions and compulsions" by Edna B. Foa and Reid Wilson, it's a great self-help tool. However, lately the thoughts have been been just firing with regards to my eternal salvation. I mean, deep down inside I know that Christ has paid my debt in full and has rose again victoriously, I'm just plagued with this doubt! It's so tough at times. I have no assurance at the moment as to whether I actually have faith, as weird as that sounds. Have many of you been plagued in this area? How long did you struggle with it? I'm just going to try my best to not fight the thoughts.

Thanks for your advice!

 

[tripletiger1200]

I'm currently struggling with that. It's like I know what the truth is, but can't get all of me to accept it, so there's that little nagging part still trying to get me down. Not fighting the thoughts is good, and praise is another great thing to do. When you start to think about whether or not you are saved or not, just say to yourself "hands off", and let go of the issue. Then praise God. The fear goes away eventually and you are left with a more frustrating, depressed type feeling that isn't even that bad. It's a lot better than fear, that's for sure.

 

[LovesTheLord4Life]

Ah yes, that nagging part, I know exactly what you mean. We believe in Christ, His deity, atoning death, resurrection, His ability to save, His willingness to save, His grace, mercy and everything else the Bible teaches, yet there is always that little nagging voice in your head that says "no you don't!" or "you don't really believe that, come on!" It's frustrating and I can relate exactly to what you are going through. I have just decided to give the thoughts over to Him, no matter how long it takes. I'm praying for you and everyone on this forum. You are all a blessing!

 

[OCD=Owie]

I'm currently struggling with that. It's like I know what the truth is, but can't get all of me to accept it, so there's that little nagging part still trying to get me down. Not fighting the thoughts is good, and praise is another great thing to do. When you start to think about whether or not you are saved or not, just say to yourself "hands off", and let go of the issue. Then praise God. The fear goes away eventually and you are left with a more frustrating, depressed type feeling that isn't even that bad. It's a lot better than fear, that's for sure.

Exactly! The best way to handle such obsessions.

 

[OCD=Owie]

My hardest OCD symptom that I've ever had to deal with is my fear of not being saved (which was mixed with fears that what I believed wasn't true.) So I know how cruddy this can feel. I know that I didn't have that "deep-down feeling" that I was saved. I just felt extremely uncertain. It's not like I believed that I wasn't saved, it's just that I was extremely fearful that I wasn't. I lacked certainty. Throw in doubts about my faith, and I was really freaked out when it was at its worst. Thankfully, God has helped me out of it, and I know now how many of my thought-processes work and what they really are. I've learned how silly many of my fears were.

One of my favorite passages in the Bible deals with the assurance of salvation. Check out 1 John 3:13-22. Specifically, verses 19 and 20.

 

[LovesTheLord4Life]

Yes I have read that passage and it has given me great comfort. It's great to hear that the Lord has brought you through your doubts. Would you say that you still have the odd spike regarding OCD and salvation? Or has your OCD moved on to other areas? Just wondering because some days for me it's ok and others it's really bad. I'm still allowing the thoughts to just do their thing without fighting them. I just wonder if this is something that I will have to wrestle with my whole life (like a thorn in the flesh) or if The Lord will deliver me from it, like he did for John Bunyan, Spurgeon and other influential Christians. Either way, I will still praise Him and give Him the Glory! Thanks for all your advice!

 

[John637]

What a great attitude LTL4L! "Either way, I will still praise Him and give Him the Glory!" The great thing about knowing Christ is that He has done it all for us, & as John said, this is love, NOT that we loved Him, since ours is flawed, but that HE LOVED US & sent His Son to bethe atoning sacrifice for our sins! Magnificent. God bless you.

 

[Q1108]

I'm right there with you guys on all of this. I hate it.... It's like I can't my whole self to believe. There's always this part that wants to fight. I hate it. It always me question things like the Calvinist doctrine and then I always dump myself Into the category of the ones that Christ did not elect or whatever. I hate this I just want the faith I had before all this. It changed me.

 

[gracealone]

Hi,
Even though you wonder whether this will be a life long struggle, (which is also an OCDish theme), the fact that you are choosing to praise Him and give Him glory shows that you've done the same exact thing that Bunyan and Spurgeon did. In doing so you will be dealing the OCD a big blow and eventually it will fade in it's intensity.
Good job and great choice!
Mitzi
Just wanted to mention that even though you wonder if this is going to be a

Yes I have read that passage and it has given me great comfort. It's great to hear that the Lord has brought you through your doubts. Would you say that you still have the odd spike regarding OCD and salvation? Or has your OCD moved on to other areas? Just wondering because some days for me it's ok and others it's really bad. I'm still allowing the thoughts to just do their thing without fighting them. I just wonder if this is something that I will have to wrestle with my whole life (like a thorn in the flesh) or if The Lord will deliver me from it, like he did for John Bunyan, Spurgeon and other influential Christians. Either way, I will still praise Him and give Him the Glory! Thanks for all your advice!

 

[LovesTheLord4Life]

Thank you for your encouragement Mitzi! It's always great to hear some wise counsel from fellow believers who have delt with the same issues, and I thank God for your counsel on this forum. Q1108, I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with this issue as well, I know how hard it can be. You will be in my prayers along with everyone else on this forum. God bless you!

 

[BeccaLynn]

I worry a lot that I'm not truly saved, especially when I wake up at night. I don't struggle with Jesus being real or truly God's son and the only way to God. I've asked Him to come into my heart so many times it would be hard to guess accurately how many "salvation prayers" I've prayed. I do struggle with if I genuinely believe He can really save me, if I've ever honestly repented, and even if I just want Him to save me but am too prideful and unwilling to place His will over mine. I feel terrified when I hear about hell and think about it being eternal. That scares me a lot because it's like there's no room for guessing and hoping in this, and that keeps me bound up. I often times don't think I know my own heart with all of the confusion. When I talk to God, which is daily and often throughout the day, am I just going on what I've been taught but holding back my heart? I am troubled over believing Him for what I'm even praying for, like the salvation of my father-in-law, etc.

I was actually seeming to do better for a while, and even though I couldn't say for certain that I was a Christian, I obsessed more about illnesses and diseases, etc. That didn't seem to be as bad I don't think, even though that wasn't enjoyable either.

There are many people here though who are such encouragers and who can identify to an extent what we each deal with. It's a blessing to know we're not dealing with them without anyone who can empathize.

 

[CrossPilgrim]

I worry a lot that I'm not truly saved, especially when I wake up at night. I don't struggle with Jesus being real or truly God's son and the only way to God. I've asked Him to come into my heart so many times it would be hard to guess accurately how many "salvation prayers" I've prayed. I do struggle with if I genuinely believe He can really save me, if I've ever honestly repented, and even if I just want Him to save me but am too prideful and unwilling to place His will over mine. I feel terrified when I hear about hell and think about it being eternal. That scares me a lot because it's like there's no room for guessing and hoping in this, and that keeps me bound up. I often times don't think I know my own heart with all of the confusion. When I talk to God, which is daily and often throughout the day, am I just going on what I've been taught but holding back my heart? I am troubled over believing Him for what I'm even praying for, like the salvation of my father-in-law, etc.

I was actually seeming to do better for a while, and even though I couldn't say for certain that I was a Christian, I obsessed more about illnesses and diseases, etc. That didn't seem to be as bad I don't think, even though that wasn't enjoyable either.

There are many people here though who are such encouragers and who can identify to an extent what we each deal with. It's a blessing to know we're not dealing with them without anyone who can empathize.

Believe it or not, we share the exact same doubts. These exact thoughts have been passing through my head for the past 3 days. That entire first paragraph can be used to describe me on a bad day.

Know this. You're not alone. First off, you have Jesus, the Lord God Almighty. Secondly, you are surrounded by a cloud of saints who suffer just as you do.

As for your (or shall I say our) doubts, the first thing you need to know in your heart is that Jesus is able to save you. If He could save a wretch like me he can save you. Never doubt that no matter what the enemy tells you.

Keep praying. These verses helped me when I doubted.

And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he hears us: And if we know that he hear us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him. 5:14-15

He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? Romans 8:32

If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? Matthew 7:11

Ask God to reveal the condition of your heart to you. Believe me --- He answers. You can also ask Him how to pray and that He reveal it through His word (check out the Psalms and Jesus' Prayer in the Garden).

I know it's tough, but with God, all things are possible. Grace be with you.

 

[gracealone]

Hi Becca,
Just saw this post. I can't tell you how hard I tried to figure out if I was really saved or not or really believed or not or really had faith or not. What a journey of misery! But the more time I spent looking for proof or reassurance on these topics the worse I felt. CS Lewis once said that the harder we try to muster up feelings of faith that all our feelings of faith fly right out the window. I think that's a fairly accurate description of what happens to us with this kind of OCD. The harder we try to ascertain or obtain certainty on this theme the more afraid we become that it just might be true of us. OCD themes like this must be starved to death. Attend to them and they'll grow. Ignore them and they'll diminish and eventually fade out. If we treat them as valid our brain can't help but perceive them as threatening. This is why we get so stuck. The more you understand how the disorder gets ahold of you the sooner you can turn the tables on it.
Praying for you.
Mitzi

I worry a lot that I'm not truly saved, especially when I wake up at night. I don't struggle with Jesus being real or truly God's son and the only way to God. I've asked Him to come into my heart so many times it would be hard to guess accurately how many "salvation prayers" I've prayed. I do struggle with if I genuinely believe He can really save me, if I've ever honestly repented, and even if I just want Him to save me but am too prideful and unwilling to place His will over mine. I feel terrified when I hear about hell and think about it being eternal. That scares me a lot because it's like there's no room for guessing and hoping in this, and that keeps me bound up. I often times don't think I know my own heart with all of the confusion. When I talk to God, which is daily and often throughout the day, am I just going on what I've been taught but holding back my heart? I am troubled over believing Him for what I'm even praying for, like the salvation of my father-in-law, etc.

I was actually seeming to do better for a while, and even though I couldn't say for certain that I was a Christian, I obsessed more about illnesses and diseases, etc. That didn't seem to be as bad I don't think, even though that wasn't enjoyable either.

There are many people here though who are such encouragers and who can identify to an extent what we each deal with. It's a blessing to know we're not dealing with them without anyone who can empathize.