Doubting my salvation.

[Legionwrex]

Hello. I'm a 15 year old male who has been having overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and depression about my salvation. I was born into a Christian house, but it wasn't until I was 12 or so that these fears and doubts set in. For the past 3 years they have dominated my life.

I am unable to feel sorrow for my sins. I know they are wrong, but I feel nothing. I fear I am self-righteous, I don't think I love God, I'm not sure if I have saving faith, I'm pretty sure I'm hard hearted, and I'm pretty sure the only reason I'm trying so hard to be saved is that I'm scared of Hell.

I know salvation comes from trusting Jesus, but so many people say that you have to be sorry, that you have to repent of all sins, etc.

I pray that God gives me Godly sorrow and helps me with all of these problems and that he gives me faith, but nothing happens. I feel like God isn't listening and doesn't love me nor does he want to save me. I feel like he is playing some sick joke on me by showing me how condemned and hopeless I am, and showing me the way out, but he won't provide me with the means to get there.

I see all these stories about former prostitutes and murders who have an instant conversion and love Jesus and hate sin. Why is it so easy for them?

Even as I type this now I feel like I am sinning by telling you people instead of God. But I don't know what to do.

I'm tired of waiting for God to give me Godly Sorrow and regenerate me. I have been waiting for years now. I know I deserve hell, but I still don't want to go there.

Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[branchofthevine]

You are young, but I know the kind of doubts you are facing.

God is severe yes, but He is gentle and tender and loving. He is not severe to those who turn to Him, but as the father in the parable of the prodigal son, He comes rushing out to embrace you.

One advice I can give "be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46)

you may not be someone who is saved and then is a raging fire their entire lives. You may not be a Mother Theresa or a Heidi Baker, or a William Carey or Hudson Taylor, but that is fine, that is okay.

You are not called to be anything other than who Jesus wants you to be in Him.

You do not need to feel guilt about not being like others because Jesus has formed you in the way He wants you to be. When you find yourself in Him, you will see that. (Psalm 139 -He has formed your inward being, your mental state, how you think and react)


Let me quote a man named Andrew Murray once wrote (well, paraphrased)

"Our hearts are laid before God as if on an operating table, and Jesus is doing a work of sanctification in us which is far greater than His work of creation, all we need to do is let God work in us by waiting on Him" (Waiting on God -Andrew Murray)

The point is this: not to lean on your own work, but cast all your cares, and all your doubts and all your sins upon Jesus and He will send them as far as the east is from the west. Jesus takes more care in the sanctification of your heart than He did during the creation of the entire universe. That is a comforting thought, to which we can boldly come and lay our burdens and doubts down at His feet and be flooded with His love in His presence.

 

[Legionwrex]

Thank you.

 

[Scott4Him]

I highly recommend "Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart" by JD Greear. It's a quick, easy read designed to help Christians who are struggling with assurance of salvation, and to help non-Christians with a false assurance.

 

[The Conductor]

Doubting my salvation.

Well too bad. Thats cuz you were predestined that way.

Ok - not true. Seriously though. Go anywhere near a calvinist and it will be spiritual suicide. ALWAY check when asking about thing religious that you are talking to genuine Christians. Christ is the saviour - not calvin. Remember that.

Welcome to Christian Forums!

 

[Legionwrex]

@The Conductor: I'm not really sure what that comment is supposed to mean....

 

[The Conductor]

Terribly sorry about that. About your actual question.

The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.
1 Corinthians 2:14 ESV

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

Philippians 2:12-13 ESV

If you're even able to worry about your salvation, you're in a good position. Pray that God will reveal his will in your life and that he will give you peace with regards to your salvation. I'll pray for you too!

 

[The Conductor]

@The Conductor: I'm not really sure what that comment is supposed to mean....

I also just noticed that he felt the need to delete his comment. Now mine just looks silly.

 

[Legionwrex]

@The Conductor Thanks for the response . As to your quote, it makes sense now that you were replying to someone else. I though you were copy-and-pasting a quote from another forum as an answer here, but I didn't really get what it meant .

 

[pilgrim42]

Hello. I'm a 15 year old male who has been having overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and depression about my salvation. I was born into a Christian house, but it wasn't until I was 12 or so that these fears and doubts set in. For the past 3 years they have dominated my life.

I am unable to feel sorrow for my sins. I know they are wrong, but I feel nothing. I fear I am self-righteous, I don't think I love God, I'm not sure if I have saving faith, I'm pretty sure I'm hard hearted, and I'm pretty sure the only reason I'm trying so hard to be saved is that I'm scared of Hell.

I know salvation comes from trusting Jesus, but so many people say that you have to be sorry, that you have to repent of all sins, etc.

I pray that God gives me Godly sorrow and helps me with all of these problems and that he gives me faith, but nothing happens. I feel like God isn't listening and doesn't love me nor does he want to save me. I feel like he is playing some sick joke on me by showing me how condemned and hopeless I am, and showing me the way out, but he won't provide me with the means to get there.

I see all these stories about former prostitutes and murders who have an instant conversion and love Jesus and hate sin. Why is it so easy for them?

Even as I type this now I feel like I am sinning by telling you people instead of God. But I don't know what to do.

I'm tired of waiting for God to give me Godly Sorrow and regenerate me. I have been waiting for years now. I know I deserve hell, but I still don't want to go there.

Any advice would be appreciated.

It looks to me like you may be putting too much stock in your feelings. Not everyone has the same feelings when they get saved. Don't look at your feelings right now - they will come along later. Look at your commitment to the Lord. you have already repented and asked the Lord to change you. Now it is a matter of learning to follow Him. How do you do that? By reading your Bible. Do and believe what it says. Trust that the Lord will give you the strength to live a Christian life. You may fall into some sin occasionally. We all do that. Just pick yourself up, repent, and keeping trusting Jesus. The Holy Ghost will convict you of any sin that you do. you won't be perfect, but you can be obedient. Study the Word and obey.

Ken

 

[heirmiles]

Hi Legionwrex,

My heart goes totally out to you. And you deserve a lot more than a simple answer. Any Christian who is honest will let you know that we have all faced doubts during our lives. And sometimes we can go for years without finding the answer that we are looking for. That does not mean that the answers aren't there, it simply means that we can struggle, sometimes silently about something and without talking about the issue we end up burying it.

The difference in your life is that you are willing to face the issue head on. Not to get too technical there are different ways that people look at life and truth. As Christians we learn to see God working, at times invisible to everyone but Himself, within us and those around us. Yet there are so many who have absolutely no idea of God or even of His existence. For them, as you said, life is a sick joke played on mankind by the universe in which he lives.

One of the major issues for us as Christians is authenticity. Whenever we face the question of the reality of our beliefs, we tend to look at all the 'negative' ones. These are the beliefs that we know that we are suppose to believe but for some reason we simply aren't that sure about. And we have a choice about how we 'work' through them.

As you have done, in a very courageous way I might add, you have identified these issues very clearly. Many would simply bury them and try to pretend that they don't exist.

One aspect that I think underlays your questions is the matter of the fruit of the Holy Spirit in your life, along with a spiritual/rational conviction of His vibrant activity within you. The things that we think regeneration and sanctification 'should' look like.

One thing to think about is that while the gate unto salvation is narrow, only through belief in our Saviour and Lord Jesus Christ, once we are in Him it is up to Him to continue to live and work within us. This is His work of grace, the free giving of His life and righteousness for you and within you.

What this means is that in believing in Christ, God has taken away all of His condemnation against you. This is what happened when Christ died for your (and mine, and all other believers) sin. The slate has been completely wiped clean. And now God is actively creating your new life in Him.

This does not mean that we lose our awareness of sin, usually it means that we become even more aware of it. And when we see it we see it in terms of its being condemned. It tells us that of our selves there is no reason on our part that God should forgive us. But Jesus has taken away that condemnation. And God has forgiven and is forgiving us. He has done, and is doing the same for you.

Many times when we learn our memory verses we focus on a single verse outside of its immediate context. One of the most common ones against sin is , For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

But notice how it reads in context:

Romans 3:21-24,

"But now the righteousness of God apart form the law is revealed, being witnessed by the Law and the Prophets, even the righteousness of God, through faith in Jesus Christ, to all and on all who believe. For there is no difference; for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,"

now verse 24 continues from verse 23,

"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,"

and Romans 6:23, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord"

This tells us that in regard to sin, we are sinners, yet we are sinners who have been redeemed, set free from sin, who by God's free gift of eternal life in Christ Jesus, have been made new.

But how do we know that God has indeed forgiven us? He has given us the 'earnest', the guarantee, that the Holy Spirit is at work in us.

I know that we like to see miraculous changes right away. Yet God starts only with a seed. In fact a very small seed, smaller than a grain of sand, a mustard seed. The mustard seed of faith. And it takes time for this seed to grow. And it will grow, in fact it is growing, and if you read Psalm 1 you will see that simply in delighting in understanding God's Word that seed will become a tree that will bring fruit, not right away, but in its time, its season.

Many times we might only see tiny hints that God is working in us, and many times we won't even notice it, the changes can be that small, so insignificant that we may ask, how could that have been God working in us? We can ask, maybe I'm just simply getting older or growing up a little. We might not even realize that God is at work. And this is important,

Many times God works when the pieces in our lives just don't fit. He works when we can't pray, when we think we can't believe, when we sin intentionally. In other words He is working within us to understand what the rest of the world faces every single minute of every single day.

In time the emptiness you feel will help you to find the love and compassion to help a lost and dying world. Because you know what it is like, and how miserable and hopeless it can be. (I know that now this is small comfort) But you are not hopeless, and God is working within you, otherwise you would not even be aware of these issues.

On our part we need to pray for you, that God will fill that emptiness, that you will know the joy that He brings into your life, and you will know the strength and courage that He provides. That you will find the true answers for the yearnings of your heart. That God's reality is so clear and so real in your life, that your knowledge of Him will be sure and constant, that in all your struggles, His grace, love, peace, mercy and joy will fill your heart, strengthening you each and every day.

I pray that God will give you the answers that you need.

 

[Cody2]

Read 1 John 5:13 in the King James Bible. That takes all my doubts away.

 

[Legionwrex]

@heirmiles: Thank you very much for that comment.

@Cody2: My Bible is the KJV, but I only use it for sentimental reasons. It's difficult to understand the writing, so I'm thinking of switching to the NIV. As to the verse itself, It's certainly comforting: If you meet the requirements for that comfort of salvation. Which is what I'm trying to figure out.

 

[Emmy]

Dear Legionwrex. You had some good replies, here is one more.
In Matthew 22: 35-40: Jesus tells a Lawyer: " The first and great Commandment is: Love God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. The second is like it: Love thy neighbour as thyself." Then Jesus states this great fact: " On these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets." God wants our love, freely given and No conditions made.
Jesus promised us His Love and Joy, and the Holy Spirit will empower us with
His Love, also. Start by treating all you know and all you meet, treat them as
you would love to be treated: kindly and with friendly words always. God will see your sincere efforts, and God will approve and bless you. keep asking God,
and thanking God, then share all Love and Joy with your neighbour.
( Matthew 7: 7-8) A Christian`s weapon is Love, with love you will overcome all enmity and wrong behaviour. You might stumble and forget sometimes,
but then ask God to forgive you, and carry on loving and caring. God is Love,
and God wants loving children/sons and daughters. Jesus our Saviour will help and guide you: JESUS IS THE WAY.
To love and be kind always, might seem a bit strange at first, but Love is very
catching, and gradually you will change into the young man which God wants
you to become, and God will use you. To Love and Obey is a great way, and you will be a sign-post to God and Jesus. All you say or do, all you advice or
stand for, should be from Love and Compassion. The world around you will notice and treat you as you treat others, and you will know that God Loves you and guides you. I say this with love, Legionwrex.
Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

[Legionwrex]

How can I be saved if I come out of fear. I believe the term used to describe the reason I am trying to be saved is "attrition", better known as coming out of fear of the consequences, as opposed to contrition, which is coming out of genuine sorrow and remorse (or Godly sorrow).

I'm so tired of being on this emotional roller coaster of depression and despair. I spend nearly all my time trying to find peace and be saved. I constantly search the internet for answers but none satisfy.

Why can't God just save me? Why does everything have to be so complicated and confusing. The Gospel of Good news is starting to appear pretty bleak and unobtainable to me.

 

[Iosias]

Hello. I'm a 15 year old male who has been having overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and depression about my salvation.

I am sorry to hear this, God loves you no matter what!

THE CAMPFIRE STORY - REND COLLECTIVE - YouTube

 

[Legionwrex]

While I thank you for your post, I would prefer answers from people who are Christian.

 

[Iosias]

While I thank you for your post, I would prefer answers from people who are Christian.

I am a Christian.

 

[Legionwrex]

I've seen you deny a lot of key doctrines, so......

 

[Iosias]

What you believe doesn't matter, it is who you believe in that matters...I know a lot of teenagers who struggle to believe in the traditional categories, but who have become so alive when discovering God afresh as the ultimate mystery of Being. I always recommend a read of What We Talk About When We Talk About God.