Don't know whats wrong

[chava]

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm pregnant with our second son and with my first I was so excited and I felt so much love for him before he was born and with this one I don't feel anything. I'm not close to him like I was when I was pregnant with my first son. Has this happened to any of you?

 

[JCFantasy23]

Yes but I've only had one child. For about 9 months it felt like someone else's kid. I became sooo much closer to Gage when he was a bit older. It's a hormonal thing that happens to some women.

 

[Assisi]

My situation was perhaps a bit different, because I'd had some losses. But when I was pregnant with my son I didn't connect to him at all the way I did with my first. At first I sort of ignored that he existed at all, then towards the end when I tried to get 'into' it I, well, to be completely honest, I resented him. I didn't want to meet him. I felt like he shouldn't be able to survive, he shouldn't be able to live in my womb because it really belonged to my first child. Leading up to birth I felt like I wouldn't mind the physical and emotional challenges of parenting him, but I dreaded the cuddles, and especially our first meeting.

Maybe this is a little more extreme than what you're feeling, but in the end it was tearing me up and I sought help from a psychologist. I worked really hard and I did enjoy the last few weeks of my pregnancy and meeting my little one.

One thing I learnt in my last pregnancy is that it doesn't matter how you're 'supposed' to feel, I decided just to feel what I was feeling and not care. Also, I think our first babies will always have that special 'first child' place in our hearts. It's okay not to feel it second time around.

 

[Neenie1]

Just wondering at what stage of the pregnancy you are? The reason I ask this is because it's different at different stages. I don't tend to feel that I am able to bond with the baby until I can see the bump and they are kicking.

When I was pregnant with my 2nd child it was a very different sense. In some ways I was more excited (as 2nd was planned whereas first wasn't) but in others it was a sense of "oh yeah - I've done this before blah blah blah" It didn't help that I was sick all the time and trying to care for a 3 year old at the same time. But in the end it was all good. My "baby" is now 3 1/2 and a great little girl.

 

[chava]

I'm 28 weeks along. Due in April.

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

for a while at different times during pg and after my son was born, he just felt like a job taking away time from my daughter. What helped me was to really focus some time on bonding, taking time to pray for my new child was the biggest helper.

I think what assisi said about just feeling your feelings, there not being a 'right' way to feel was great advice.

But if you are really worried it's always a good idea to have a chat to someone.