Don't know what to do??

[suzie]

No matter how uncomfortable it may seem, I promise if you take that step forward to treatment (I mean by that professional and personal) it will be a step toward releasing you from the grips of what you are in. I am not trying to make you feel bad, for you acknowledge a problem, yet you are acknowledging it to strangers. I used to work for many years on a triage line and got many many calls from individuals such as yourself. I know others are trying to provide encouragement, but there are people in your life who will support you. Lean to them. If your husband is unwilling or unable to do that for you, dont let it hinder you. For you to be the mother/wife/Christian/person you need and desire to be, you must take care of yourself. Even if it means making yourself or others uncomfortable. God will be with you every step of the way.

 

[SunnyLin]

i know it's been difficult deciding to get help and i praise God for helping you and bringing you through this rough time . I'd just like to let you know taht i'll be praying for you. i have a few friends who hurt themselves too and i know its tough for them. you just have to trust in God and continue to do wha tyou have been doing. Constantly pray, God hears you and we hear you too. Love in Christ! I'll be praying and God Bless!

 

[mel3]

Hopeful, I think using a prayer journal is excellent therapy and it's cheap, too! You deal with this in your way, however you feel like dealing with it. I have never heard of online therapy. If you don't have the resources to reiceve counseling, you do the next best thing. Be strong for your daughter and find your strength in her. I am glad to hear you are feeling better, that's what we are here for. We may not always agree on solutions to our problems, but I do believe that every one of us who have responded have your best interest at heart. Take care and hang in there.

 

[JesusIsLife]

Praise God!!

I had such an awesome day yesterday. All day yesterday the only thing I could do was laugh! I don't understand it,but I was sooooooo happy. Well I do understand it, it was all God. I was with my sisters yesterday, just doing sister things and we had a great time. We were driving down the road and just got laughing about things and we were laughing so hard I thought "Oh, this can't be safe", because we were driving. I haven't laughed like that in a long time. You would probably had to have been there to understand it, but it was great.

Later that night my duaghter had had waken up cyring and screaming. I went in and was just holding her, and loving her, and something hit me like never before. God spoke to me in a way I cant translate into words, but it was Him without an ounce of doubt. It was then that I felt like the luckiest person ever, and realize the gifts He has given me. He showed me that He does love me, and things are only going to get better.

I went to bed shortly after and felt a little tug, as if God was asking me to go into a room by myself and just talk. So I did, and I had a unexplainable peace after that. It was such an awesome day, I thank God so much for every bit of it. I know that there may be days when things get tough, but I know He is there right beside me, and if I fall He will pick me right back up.

I have prayed that if God wants me to go and talk with someone then I will. I will not allow my pride, or anything stand in the way of my relationship with God anymore. So if He leads me to that path, then I will follow. I believe right now He is not, and He is my number one counsler helping me through this. Oh, I am almost crying.....tears of joy that is!

I do appreciate EVERYONES prayers and support through this. Please continue to keep me in your prayers for a little while longer, just to make sure I stay on the same path. Prayers are always a good thing.

 

[daughter of the king]

yah cool i am soooooo happy for you that is great i will keep praying. remember to be like a postage stamp stick to it until to get there and remember always to try and smile coz Jesus loves you so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so much, and we do to.
love ya Lizzie

 

[JesusIsLife]

Originally posted by daughter of the king
yah cool i am soooooo happy for you that is great i will keep praying. remember to be like a postage stamp stick to it until to get there and remember always to try and smile coz Jesus loves you so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so much, and we do to.
love ya Lizzie

 

   Thanks, I couldn't be happier myself!! 

 

[Blessed-one]

this's great hopeful!!

thank you Father, for giving hopeful what she needed most desperately, for revealing to her in your own timing, for your peace and love.

*hugs*

 

[mel3]

Hopeful, this is GREAT! You probally don't know how uplifting this makes me feel! You don't even sound like the same young lady who shared your story a week ago. Praise the Lord for letting us help you open your eyes. You still have a long row to hoe but you are definately on your way. Don't look back! Continue to seek Him and us for strength, courage and motivation. Keep your eyes totally focused on Him. I believe He can take the urge you have in harming yourself and use it to glorify Him. You have a story to tell. Isn't it great to feel His love and protection? He doesn't want to see you hurting. He does want to see you break free of this stronghold and lean on Him.

 

[JesusIsLife]

Having kind of a bad day.  Not really bad, no bad thoughts or urgers to hurt myself, just kinda down.  I feel really distant from everyone right now.  Not sure why.  Hopefully I will wake up tomorrow and everything will be bright and sunny again!

 

[JesusIsLife]

Just incase you are confused, I had my user name changed. I didn't want to carry the same name, when I came in I was at rock bottom, I am not there anymore....and Jesus is Life!!

 

[JesusIsLife]

okay, well I have made the next step and asked our pastor if he could refer me to a counsler.  Things are better, but I think I need to talk with someone.  Saying out loud is different than writing, and I think that is why I am scared to death right now.  I am afraid to go in and talk about it.  I don't know what to do, what to say. 

Obviously there are past issues that have caused all this pain, and one is pretty deep and has been there a while.  When  I was 11 I was molested by my cousin for 3 hours in the back of a car.  I hold all the responsibiltiy because there were two adults in the front of the car and I never said anything to them.  I did tell him to stop and tried to get him to, but I should have said something to the adults.  I was so embarrassed and ashamed and still am.  The night that it happened I tried to tell my dad, but when I told him I needed to talk, he told me later.  I waited in the room we were staying at and he never came.  About four years later my mom found out from a letter I was going to write to a friend, becuase at this time I still had not told anyone.  She took me into her room asked me if it was true, and I said yes.  For a moment I felt relief because I thought I was going to get to tell someone who cared and would support me, and just give me a hug.  She turned around and as she was walking out the door said we didn't need to tell anyone, and left me standing there.  She never even looked at me.  From that point I knew I must have been responsible and they didn't care no one did.  I thought about a few weeks ago that this was over but it's not.  I set myself up for the failure thinking that too soon. 

I could really use all the prayers I can get. 

Thank you

 

[JesusIsLife]

Nevermind, I don't need anything!!!!

 

[countrymouse]

JiL,

What happened to you when you were 11 was not your fault in any way. I can't imagine how two adults in the front seat didn't even turn around and check on you and your cousin for 3 hours! Especially when you protested! Please do not blame yourself even one minute longer. I'm so sorry that no one cared enough to help you deal with it, but that's not your fault either; you tried to communicate. I'm praying right now that you'll be able to get healing from all this awful stuff.

love,
cm

 

[JesusIsLife]

I am not having a good day.  Memories were brought back and replayed in my mind, and I just don't understand why I cant let them go.  I have asked my pastor to refer me to someone to talk to but he hasn't given me any names yet, and in the mean time I am going crazy.  I just found out Monday that I am pregnant and I am estatic about it, and I want to enjoy every moment of it.  Any prayers and advice in the mean time would be great.

 

 

[daughter of the king]

just keep breathing. take each day as it comes. thats the only reason i am still here.
i am praying congrats on your baby, i love babys.
lizzie