Don't know. 3 part question.

[frusteratedblonde]

Is it ok for a divorced person to date a seperated person? or 2 seperated people to date?

If someone is seperated for a year, why don't they just get divorced?

I have had a hard time even wanting to date since my divorce, my friends say I should try, but I don't know if I am ready. I have seperated friends that are dating and loving it. I am divorced and scared I think of getting hurt again. Any advice?

 

[Autumnleaf]

Is it ok for a divorced person to date a seperated person? or 2 seperated people to date?

Separated as in still married? I guess its okay if you don't mind adultery. Otherwise, the separated person should probably be minding their marriage with the aim of ending the period of separation.

If someone is seperated for a year, why don't they just get divorced?

Ask them.

I have had a hard time even wanting to date since my divorce, my friends say I should try, but I don't know if I am ready. I have seperated friends that are dating and loving it. I am divorced and scared I think of getting hurt again. Any advice?

Don't do it. Go back to your husband and try to fix things.

 

[Honibee]

Don't do it. Go back to your husband and try to fix things.

Sound, biblical advise given here.

Before you make the decision to 'date' again, please take a look at this
website: www.marriagedivorce.com. It is biblical in it's approach to marriage,
divorce, and remarriage issue.

I sincerely pray you receive God's truth on this issue. Blessings in Him.

 

[frusteratedblonde]

Separated as in still married? I guess its okay if you don't mind adultery. Otherwise, the separated person should probably be minding their marriage with the aim of ending the period of separation.

Ask them.




Don't do it. Go back to your husband and try to fix things.

---This regards my friends. I like them and think they are good people I don't want to judge them.-----

----OK.----

----I am not dating. I am scared to, love for me has always equaled PAIN.Um my ex husband is engaged and was very abusive. LOL. He is also homeless right now living in different hotels around the country with his fiance. LOL. ---
Obviously you believe in submission above everything else so,
Question- If someone you married became a satan worshipper would the wife need to submit and follow suit? What about a murderer? A molester? Are their NO GREY AREAS anymore? LOL.------

 

[FreezBee]

Question- If someone you married became a satan worshipper would the wife need to submit and follow suit? What about a murderer? A molester? Are their NO GREY AREAS anymore? LOL.------

You might want to take a peek at this site:

http://christiandivorce.1hwy.com/index.html

The page states this:

There is no biblical reason to believe that a man or woman must stay within a marriage that is abusive of the moral standards of the God Who instituted it.

Personally I was separated from my wife in 1991, and have been single since. But my ex-wife and I were first divorced in 1996, because a separation is for free, but you have to pay for a divorce certificate! The reason we divorced was that as long as we were only separated, my ex-wife's life insurance would be payable to me and not to our children, if she died first.


- FreezBee

 

[~Nikki~]

---This regards my friends. I like them and think they are good people I don't want to judge them.-----

----OK.----

----I am not dating. I am scared to, love for me has always equaled PAIN.Um my ex husband is engaged and was very abusive. LOL. He is also homeless right now living in different hotels around the country with his fiance. LOL. ---
Obviously you believe in submission above everything else so,
Question- If someone you married became a satan worshipper would the wife need to submit and follow suit? What about a murderer? A molester? Are their NO GREY AREAS anymore? LOL.------

I'm sorry, I just don't see what Autumnleaf's post has to do with submission

I think it has more to do with the fact that the Bible says if you divorce and remarry, you commit adultery.

also, more to do with the fact that 1 Corinthians says that if a wife leaves her husband she must remain single or be reconciled to him, and he must not divorce her. I guess that is why Autumnleaf is saying go back and work it out...because that's the biblical instruction.

God bless...

 

[frusteratedblonde]

You might want to take a peek at this site:

http://christiandivorce.1hwy.com/index.html

The page states this:



Personally I was separated from my wife in 1991, and have been single since. But my ex-wife and I were first divorced in 1996, because a separation is for free, but you have to pay for a divorce certificate! The reason we divorced was that as long as we were only separated, my ex-wife's life insurance would be payable to me and not to our children, if she died first.




- FreezBee

Thanks for the link

 

[frusteratedblonde]

I'm sorry, I just don't see what Autumnleaf's post has to do with submission

I think it has more to do with the fact that the Bible says if you divorce and remarry, you commit adultery.

also, more to do with the fact that 1 Corinthians says that if a wife leaves her husband she must remain single or be reconciled to him, and he must not divorce her. I guess that is why Autumnleaf is saying go back and work it out...because that's the biblical instruction.

God bless...

I just think that w/o knowing someones situation its hard to just stay in the black and white. God not only gave us a Bible he gave us a brain and common sense.

 

[Autumnleaf]

---This regards my friends. I like them and think they are good people I don't want to judge them.-----

----OK.----

----I am not dating. I am scared to, love for me has always equaled PAIN.Um my ex husband is engaged and was very abusive. LOL. He is also homeless right now living in different hotels around the country with his fiance. LOL. ---
Obviously you believe in submission above everything else so,
Question- If someone you married became a satan worshipper would the wife need to submit and follow suit? What about a murderer? A molester? Are their NO GREY AREAS anymore? LOL.------

The statistics tell us there is a 50% 'gray area' for Christian marriage since that is the percentage that fail. The Bible disagrees on this point.

 

[frusteratedblonde]

The statistics tell us there is a 50% 'gray area' for Christian marriage since that is the percentage that fail. The Bible disagrees on this point.

You really believe that God would like me to be chasing me ex down? My family and friends would have me commited! Seriously! In fact his family probably would too! He is engaged, so I am suppossed to just sit around and feel sad? That is depressing! I think God wants me to be happy

 

[Warrior Poet]

Is it auk for a divorced person to date a separated person? or 2 separated people to date?

Sure its okay. I am not sure to what one would measure against in order to validate the okay. It wont be the Bible. Nor Christ's direct quotes. Indeed something out there will "ok" such a circumstance. On this board the majority of married couples will say no, and the majority of divorced and separated will say no. So you have the Bible, Christ's' quotes, the majority of two separate realms of marriage... I would hope this would suffice as an accurate gage, in which to measure the "ok"ness.

If someone is separated for a year, why don't they just get divorced?

I was separated for nearly a year... I came to a point where I had signed enough papers, and paved the way quite enough. I was not going to make the final move. It lasted a good amount of time (so it seemed)... life went on. I stopped caring wether the papers came and started realizing that inside a covenant, that is marriage, the only thing that could not be taken away from me was my promise. I also realized that her decisions no longer directly impacted my life. I was happy. Divorce ripples through families, friends, children... its universal acceptance as a "season" in life is a gross interpretation of divorce itself.

I have had a hard time even wanting to date since my divorce, my friends say I should try, but I don't know if I am ready. I have separated friends that are dating and loving it. I am divorced and scared I think of getting hurt again. Any advice?

I didn't have a hard time, I started dating after the paper was completed and filed. It didn't work out... nor did the one after... though I hoped it would. I was ready though.. thats the kicker here. I wasn't scared at all. It was like someone turned on a light and it all made sense. I was happy. This is what God wanted for me. To be happy. Yet the truth of the matter became... He didn't want me to be happy, he wanted to MAKE me happy. There is a world of difference between the two. I debated with others, prayed, studied, researched, questioned my mentors, my pastor, people here on CF. For two years I dedicated myself to proving beyond all doubt that it was "OK". I did just that. I proved beyond all doubt that it was OK to be happy and not married. TO be happy and not have kids. To be happy and be divorced. For-ev-er. Yet that decision made me very unhappy. I kept contrasting happiness to what I thought was unhappy. It became such a cycle, a vicious one at that. From there, like all this wasn't, its highly personal. It remains between yourself and God.

I encourage you to read Matthew 19:1-12 If you haven't all ready. Pay very close attention to Jesus' exact words, please read multiple translations if possible. Then turn His last sentence into a question.

The one who can accept this should accept it." (??)

The hard thing from there is just being honest with God and yourself.

Warrior Poet

 

[bliz]

A seperated person is a married person. One does not date married people.

 

[hope4today]

Frustratedblonde, I agree with those who say that a separated person should not date. They are after all still married.
It seems from what you say however that you are more than separated you are divorced and your ex husband is with another woman. That is a different scenario and as such I believe you are biblically free to date and marry.

I know there are people here who disagree with that and they have stated so. I believe remarriage is acceptable in God's eyes and below is a link which I believe presents a sound biblical view of remarriage.

www.gods_kingdom.org/divorce.htm

For those who do not agree with me, I do not wish to debate this here. It is not the forum for debate. We all know that different people believe differently about this. I have simply provided a link for the OP to check out.

Frustrated, it may take some time but if you truly want a biblical perspective then use the links provided to examine the scriptures yourself and allow God to speak to you.

Bless you as you allow God to create a beautiful new life in you.

Hope

 

[hope4today]

Frustratedblonde, back to one of your original questions. You state you are afraid of becoming involved again. This is quite a natural reaction and one that is best to journey through with God.

Maybe get yourself some good reading material on rebuilding your life after divorce. I found the book 'Missing being Mrs' by Jennifer Croly fantastic. It is small, easy to read and cheap to purchase. Any good christian bookstore should have it or be able to get it for you. It will help you to recognise some of the stages you will go through and how to come through them.

Also there is a great course called DivorceCare. Many churches run it and it will also help you to work through the issues of divorce. you can find them online at www.divorcecare.org

I hope these resources help. My husband left me for another woman so I have experienced something of what you are going through. Feel free to pm me if you would like to talk about anything in a more private setting.

Bless you

Hope

 

[frusteratedblonde]

Frustratedblonde, back to one of your original questions. You state you are afraid of becoming involved again. This is quite a natural reaction and one that is best to journey through with God.

Maybe get yourself some good reading material on rebuilding your life after divorce. I found the book 'Missing being Mrs' by Jennifer Croly fantastic. It is small, easy to read and cheap to purchase. Any good christian bookstore should have it or be able to get it for you. It will help you to recognise some of the stages you will go through and how to come through them.

Also there is a great course called DivorceCare. Many churches run it and it will also help you to work through the issues of divorce. you can find them online at www.divorcecare.org

I hope these resources help. My husband left me for another woman so I have experienced something of what you are going through. Feel free to pm me if you would like to talk about anything in a more private setting.

Bless you

Hope

Thanks for your help! I attended Divorce Care last spring and it was very helpful. I will look for the book you suggested. Thanks!

 

[~HopeFloats~]

Is it ok for a divorced person to date a seperated person? or 2 seperated people to date?

If someone is seperated for a year, why don't they just get divorced?

I think it is a personal choice however i did not until I had my divorce decree

As for the seocnd question.. either it is not a big deal and they could care less about getting the divorce and have no money for it or they just do not care..

Those that care( as in ending things) usually end it asap.