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don't just try to be tough

lutherangerman

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This isn't really a testimony, more of an encouragement. But I found no better place where to put it on this site than here.

I have had a troubled life in some respects, but this post isn't about that. It's more about how to cope with troubles, particular troubles especially.

You know, there are christians who dig deep into the bible, who are fundamentalistic. That's not a bad thing necessarily, but it can lead to problems because the culture of fundamentalism (not Christ and not the bible) is lacking sometimes.

There are people who don't seem to have issues, they are very disciplined and they can control themselves very well. Now, what I am thinking is that these people had an easier personality than others to begin with. They preach that we must be tough on ourselves so as not to feel temptation, they preach we must have ourselves in complete control. They really seem to refer most bad things in life to themselves and how they must control the effects away. You won't catch these people crying or having a breakdown, they are simply strong mentally.

I don't mind these people, but they preach the wrong thing. They make Christ appear ruthless and His Father careless. I almost think that in their heart these people have decided that God isn't really love, and if He is love then not warm and kind love.

But that's not true. I do think that God wants us to be manly in the sense that we're not lazy and don't give up too easily and stand up again in faith when we have stumbled and fallen. But we don't have to be John Waynes and actually pretending to ourselves and others that the Wayne way is the best is just plain wrong.

Jesus wept too. Paul wept. David wept. I guess all the good people in the bible knew what weeping was. And their real help was God, not their toughness. Sure, they were manly, but their manliness can be considered more of a virtue than a machoism.

One thing which christianity knows but many christians don't practice is that we need to praise each other when we do good. Paul gives a good example of this in one of his epistles where he praises a community, its old and its young men, for their faith and obedience and overcoming character. And he doesn't praise them for their toughness but, basically, for their strong and consequential love for and faith in God. It's like with children, if you never praise them for learning stuff, picking up goodness, doing things right, they become either grumpy and depressed, or empty people who manage everything themselves but get down hard on others, and if people are good to them they take it as a matter of course and don't really thank or praise people for their efforts.

Some people think toughness leads to success. Not true. Wisdom and resilience does. How can a tough skin make you get up when you have fallen? It won't, love and faith and hope will make you get up again. Our outward man may be tough, but our inward man simply has his soft spots, and it's wonderful to have others see them and treat it with christian agape and brotherly kindness.

Just wanted to say this. Don't get down hard on people and think they must only get harder and harder. Don't follow that man-focussed unfaith. When God is for us, who can be against us? That's the real deal, God who is real love is for us. Love is the right toughness!
 
Jul 27, 2010
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Thank you for sharing this.

1Th 5:14 Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are idle, encourage the faint-hearted, support the weak, be patient toward all men.

when my heart is broken I Have two choices cry out to God or act tough and harden my heart that can lead to bitterness.
may God keep my heart tender.

God bless you brother
 
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