trustgod said:
I believe that there is a creator of the universe and of life. Are you familiar with Deism? a Deist believes a supreme being created the universe, but doesn't think that that creator intervenes in human affairs. I'm not saying that I am a Deist, but that's the best description of my understanding of God. So, to answer your question, I am indeed struggling with the Christian God, and so am not sure of what the Bible represents.
Thank you for clarifying, I do understand your situation much better now.
trustgod said:
Yes. Regadless of what you call it, I prayed for forgiveness for my sins and asked God into my life. I did that a number of years ago, and have prayed a number of times since for God to help me understand him and to come into my life. I don't know whether my prayers weren't sincere enough or what,
If you did sincerely say that prayer of forgiveness and ask Jesus to come into your life, then you have received the gift of eternal life and God. You must believe this by faith, not by what you may or may not `feel' (or by what kind of Christian experience you see others having). Just as you said the prayer by faith, now you must live by faith in Christ Jesus. By this I mean you need to, by faith, build that relationship with God by spending time with him via reading his Words to you (as written in the Bible). By doing this you will get to know him better. You will learn what good things he has in store for you as you obey his words spoken to you through the Bible. Daily prayer is also important. Just have a conversation with him. Thank him for the many blessings he has already given you, ask him to lead you throughout your day. Talk to him about your deepest concerns and joys.
trustgod said:
How can I both be self-sufficient and in control and at the same time not be self-sufficient and in control? It's an either/or from my perspective. Does that make sense?
Yes, that does make sense because I was the type who always wanted to be in control of my life. Then I realized that I can't do everything all the time all by myself, because I was not omnipotent like God is. Now I do what I can, and leave the rest to him. It is so peaceful to know that the creator of the universe has got me covered even in areas that are out of my control. Living like this takes away a lot of worry and stress on my part, and allows God to show me just how amazing and more than capable he is in taking care of all of my needs. Do you see what I mean?