Don't Call it Love When it Isn't

[Christsfreeservant]

“Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.” (Romans 12:9-13 ESV)​

There are so many misperceptions of what “love” is these days. Some say, “If it feels good, do it!” but regardless of who gets hurt in the process. So many are being led by and ruled by their emotions and their passions and not by intellect, reason, compassion, or caring at all who they hurt. And with the invention of the internet and the smartphone it has become so much easier for people to cheat on their spouses and to get involved in either inappropriate contentography and/or in extramarital affairs (straight, bi, or homosexual).

And so they play their games of “hide, but no seek,” for they do not want to get caught. They do not want to be found out. And so they plot how they are going to do what they do without getting caught, and perhaps even to frame the innocent in order to pave the way for them to carry out their devious plan so that the two “lovers” can be together. And so they play “trick, but no treat,” with the purpose to hide and to deceive so that no one will know what is going on behind closed doors and in their secret place.

But true love is not like that. It is not based in our emotions and in our feelings and passions, but it has to do with how we treat other people. For love is what we do, not what we feel, even though emotions can certainly be involved. And this “love” talked about in this passage is that kind of love. It is called “agape” which literally means to prefer what God prefers, which means to prefer his will and his choices and to obey them in his power because we love God and we want to serve him with our lives.

So, since this love prefers what God prefers, it is holy, righteous, godly, morally pure, upright, honest, faithful, kind, compassionate, caring, and obedient to our Lord and to his commands. And thus those who love like this, in the power of God, will hate (abhor) what is evil. And so we won’t be those who are playing with sin and who are engaged in immorality and in lying and cheating and in hiding what we do. But we will be those who are holding fast to what is good (moral, upright, honest, and faithful).

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’ To the contrary, ‘if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:14-21 ESV)​

Now, if we happen to be the recipients of the actions of others who are acting in hate, and not in love toward us, how should we respond? Well, we can speak the truth in love to those who are sinning against us. Jesus certainly did, and so did Paul. And that can involve expressing “tough love,” too, so it doesn’t have to be all sweetness and sugar-coated. But it should be kind, for kindness tells people the truth that they need to hear and not the lies that they want to hear. But kindness can be strong, at times.

But if people continue to treat us badly, how should we respond? We do not respond with hate. We do not try to get even. We don’t repay evil for evil, for vengeance belongs to God, not to us. And we are commanded in the Scriptures to love our enemies, and to do good to them, and to pray for them, and to speak words to them which will be beneficial to them, which can include speaking the truth in love, which I talked about already. And if they claim to be Christians, this may need to be addressed in the church.

But the point is, even if evil people are doing evil to us, even if they are people who are supposed to love and care for us, like shepherds of the sheep, for example, although we can certainly appeal to whatever consciences they might still have, and even if we follow all the right steps for addressing such issues, there is no guarantee that any of this will get resolved as it should. But we are not to retaliate. Instead, we are to feed our enemies, and give them a drink, and show them love and kindness.

For we are not to be overcome by evil, but we are to overcome evil with good. So we have to be so careful that we do not allow how others treat us to determine how we react and what we do. Now this doesn’t address the need to sometimes remove ourselves from such situations, as directed by the Lord and by the Scriptures, for I know that Jesus did that sometimes and so did Paul and the other apostles. But then they went right back into abusive situations in order to lead people to faith in Jesus Christ.

So, we all just need to pray for wisdom and direction from the Lord as to how to respond to difficult situations, but that wisdom is going to be biblical, not anti-biblical. For sometimes the Lord will tell us to leave, and other times he will tell us to remain and to see the salvation of the Lord.

Why Are You Afraid?

An Original Work / December 5, 2013
Based off Various Scriptures

Do not be afraid.
Your Lord is always by your side.
Serve the Lord in righteousness
Before Him all your days.

Those who hate the light
Will not come to the Lord.
They fear their deeds
Might be noticed.
So, they hate the light,
And they embrace the night.

Do not be afraid,
Although your enemy attacks.
Dare to share your testimony
Of God’s saving grace.

Do not fear their threats,
But honor Christ, your Lord.
Be prepared to give an answer
For the hope you have,
With gentleness; respect.

Why are you afraid?
For all that’s hidden will be shown.
What I tell you, speak in daylight.
Let the truth be known.

Do not be afraid
Of those who’ll take your life.
Fear the Lord with understanding.
Trust Him with your life,
And give not up to strife.

Do not be afraid.
Take courage, it is I, your Lord.
Bow before Me; now adore Me.
Oh, why do you doubt?

Listen to the Lord.
Get up and bear His name!
Run and tell the world He loves them.
Jesus came to save.
Give Him your all today.