Donating a Kidney

[northernstorm]

I have a brother who requires a kidney... My family expects me to donate if I am a match... the thing is I don't want to. Will God forgive me? My brother made my childhood horrible by being abusive. I don't care if my brother is offended by me not donating, but I don't want my parents to suffer. As a christian due I have the option to not donate if it will improve the quality of someone else's life? I am torn with guilt and am praying for an answer. I have two little babies and a husband that I need to consider. If I make the choice not to dontate will God understand?

 

[Elesaid]

I believe God will understand, that is why He gave you free will. But I would continue to pray about it and see what He would have you do.

 

[Alive again]

I have a brother who requires a kidney... My family expects me to donate if I am a match... the thing is I don't want to. Will God forgive me? My brother made my childhood horrible by being abusive. I don't care if my brother is offended by me not donating, but I don't want my parents to suffer. As a christian due I have the option to not donate if it will improve the quality of someone else's life? I am torn with guilt and am praying for an answer. I have two little babies and a husband that I need to consider. If I make the choice not to dontate will God understand?

What a difficult position you are in. I also had an abusive brother, so I understnnad a piece of what you are feeling. Does God understand, absolutely. What does He want you to do, you can only find out by asking Him and seeking in His Word. Know that donation of a kidney is a safe operation and you will do fine with one kidney. But you also may not be a match.

The other questions I have that you do not mention is; where are you at in the process of forgiveness for your brother and his abuse? Have you gotten counseling about this issue? Do you know that there is a difference between forgivness and reconciliation?

I will be praying for you. If you would like to pm me feel free to. I will be away the first part of Oct, but I will be back.

 

[Leader of the Banned]

God will forgive.

 

[Lynn]

I am a dialysis nurse and have quite a bit of experience with this.

No one should EVER feel an obligation to donate a kidney. This is major surgery and can have lifelong consequences. You need to think first of your health and the lives of your husband and children.

Most transplant coordinators that I know are very sensitive to the pressures that family members can be under to donate. They can and will eliminate anyone that they feel is being coerced (even slightly) to donate a kidney. And they will frequently just tell the patient that the person just isn't suitable, they won't go into details to protect the person's privacy.

If you feel that this isn't something you should do, PLEASE talk to the transplant coordinator. They can help you tremendously.

my prayers for you and your family

lynn

 

[Naomi4Christ]

We are moving this thread over to Chronic Disease, where there will be a better opportunity for discussion, support and encouragement for this difficult decision.

 

[Merlin]

God will not hold it against you.

 

[Taylor43]

God will forgive most of all understand. God does not expect you top go out of your way to do something. Yes you can donate a Kidney but that does not come from you, it is only a job. God respects your choice and he understand and hold no grudge. God will understand the choice you make. The main thing is you ask God to help you through. You may forgive but it does not take the hurt away, God does not ask you to ve a softy and be a doormat. God ask you to forgive so you can be free and the offender be left up to God. Not easy.

If you feel led to donate your kidney by all means do it, but if you do not want to it's ok. But i am praying for you to have no regrests that what ever you decide is ok with you. Abusive relationships is never easy. Praying for you