Domestic Violence

[Zoii]

Next month is white ribbon day in Australia. http://www.whiteribbon.org.au/?gclid=CO3xnZGK3c8CFYRjvAodLUsOMw
Violence against women hides everywhere - its isn't about race, religious status or financial status. It is overwhelmingly (but not exclusively) an act by men against women.

I would like us all to think about a few facts - they will change depending where you live:

• Just under half a million Australian women reported that they had experienced physical or sexual violence or sexual assault in the past 12 months.

• More than a million women had experienced physical or sexual assault by their male current or ex-partner since the age of 15 (some women may be counted twice if they experienced both physical and sexual assault).

• 37.8% of women who experienced physical assault in the 12 months before the survey said the perpetrator was a current or previous male partner and 34.4% said the perpetrator was a male family member or friend. Most incidences of physical assault against women in the 12 months prior to 2005 were committed in a home (64.1%).

• 33.3% of women had experienced physical violence since the age of 15.

• 19.1% of women had experienced sexual violence since the age of 15.

• 12.4% of women had been sexually abused before the age of 15, compared with 4.5% of men, between 1996 and 2005. There was an increase in the reporting of sexual assault to police from 14.9% to 18.9% between 1996 and 2005 and there was an increase in the reporting of physical violence to police from 18.5% to 36%.

• 64% of women who experienced physical assault and 81.1% of women who experienced sexual assault still did not report it to police. The proportion of women aged between 18 and 34 who reported experiencing physical violence has decreased but the proportion of women who reported experiencing physical violence after 45 increased over the same period. The percentage of women who reported that their children had witnessed partner-related violence either from a current or ex-partner was lower than in 1996.

• The majority of violence against men is committed by other men. Of men who reported that they had experienced physical violence in the 12 months before the survey, 73.7% said that the perpetrator was a male.

 

[Dave-W]

Next month is white ribbon day in Australia. http://www.whiteribbon.org.au/?gclid=CO3xnZGK3c8CFYRjvAodLUsOMw
Violence against women hides everywhere - its isn't about race, religious status or financial status. It is overwhelmingly (but not exclusively) an act by men against women.

Those numbers sound at least ball-park close to the numbers in the US. (scaled up for the larger population of course)

 

[Zoii]

 

[Uber Genius]

Next month is white ribbon day in Australia. http://www.whiteribbon.org.au/?gclid=CO3xnZGK3c8CFYRjvAodLUsOMw
Violence against women hides everywhere - its isn't about race, religious status or financial status. It is overwhelmingly (but not exclusively) an act by men against women.

I would like us all to think about a few facts - they will change depending where you live:

• Just under half a million Australian women reported that they had experienced physical or sexual violence or sexual assault in the past 12 months.

• More than a million women had experienced physical or sexual assault by their male current or ex-partner since the age of 15 (some women may be counted twice if they experienced both physical and sexual assault).

• 37.8% of women who experienced physical assault in the 12 months before the survey said the perpetrator was a current or previous male partner and 34.4% said the perpetrator was a male family member or friend. Most incidences of physical assault against women in the 12 months prior to 2005 were committed in a home (64.1%).

• 33.3% of women had experienced physical violence since the age of 15.

• 19.1% of women had experienced sexual violence since the age of 15.

• 12.4% of women had been sexually abused before the age of 15, compared with 4.5% of men, between 1996 and 2005. There was an increase in the reporting of sexual assault to police from 14.9% to 18.9% between 1996 and 2005 and there was an increase in the reporting of physical violence to police from 18.5% to 36%.

• 64% of women who experienced physical assault and 81.1% of women who experienced sexual assault still did not report it to police. The proportion of women aged between 18 and 34 who reported experiencing physical violence has decreased but the proportion of women who reported experiencing physical violence after 45 increased over the same period. The percentage of women who reported that their children had witnessed partner-related violence either from a current or ex-partner was lower than in 1996.

• The majority of violence against men is committed by other men. Of men who reported that they had experienced physical violence in the 12 months before the survey, 73.7% said that the perpetrator was a male.

With two daughters in their 20s these statistics are scary. I am a firm believer in meeting these guys they are dating and although we have a light-hearts discussion I do point out that there are boundaries on physical violence that I'll have serious and instant repercussions.

Here in the US college date rape is at an all-time high with drugs like rufinal and ecstasy.

Another problem we have that is completely invisible is women who physically abuse men. I have half-a-dozen friends who have been serially abused (punched in the head or hit with objects like golf clubs or bats by their spouse when a verbal battle wasn't going their wife's way).

I have two friends that are police officers who claim an increase in false spousal abuse cases as women use this method of falsely claiming they were abused in order to get their husbands thrown in jail. This convolutes the real problem and makes it less likely for police to sort out real threats from false one's perpetrated by emotionally undeveloped wives.

 

[Uber Genius]

I should have also mentioned that I have helped rescue two wives from abusive husbands. I knew both couples well, one for 5 years, the other for 20. Both men covered up their treacherous behavior instead of getting help. The wives were passive and locked in fear. Both men were leaders in their respective church communities (one had his Masters in Biblical Studies from Trinity Evangelical in Chicago). He also serially raped his wife. He is in Prison serving a 17-year sentence.

 

[bhsmte]

A whole lot of men experience domestic violence from women as well. A lot more than most know.

 

[Zoii]

I should have also mentioned that I have helped rescue two wives from abusive husbands. I knew both couples well, one for 5 years, the other for 20. Both men covered up their treacherous behavior instead of getting help. The wives were passive and locked in fear. Both men were leaders in their respective church communities (one had his Masters in Biblical Studies from Trinity Evangelical in Chicago). He also serially raped his wife. He is in Prison serving a 17-year sentence.

[bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] thank you for acting

 

[Dave-W]

A whole lot of men experience domestic violence from women as well. A lot more than most know.

Not a "whole lot." Some. Compared to the number of women, the number is minuscule.

Of course that may reflect gender differences in what constitutes "abuse."

 

[Armoured]

Next month is white ribbon day in Australia. http://www.whiteribbon.org.au/?gclid=CO3xnZGK3c8CFYRjvAodLUsOMw
Violence against women hides everywhere - its isn't about race, religious status or financial status. It is overwhelmingly (but not exclusively) an act by men against women.

I would like us all to think about a few facts - they will change depending where you live:

• Just under half a million Australian women reported that they had experienced physical or sexual violence or sexual assault in the past 12 months.

• More than a million women had experienced physical or sexual assault by their male current or ex-partner since the age of 15 (some women may be counted twice if they experienced both physical and sexual assault).

• 37.8% of women who experienced physical assault in the 12 months before the survey said the perpetrator was a current or previous male partner and 34.4% said the perpetrator was a male family member or friend. Most incidences of physical assault against women in the 12 months prior to 2005 were committed in a home (64.1%).

• 33.3% of women had experienced physical violence since the age of 15.

• 19.1% of women had experienced sexual violence since the age of 15.

• 12.4% of women had been sexually abused before the age of 15, compared with 4.5% of men, between 1996 and 2005. There was an increase in the reporting of sexual assault to police from 14.9% to 18.9% between 1996 and 2005 and there was an increase in the reporting of physical violence to police from 18.5% to 36%.

• 64% of women who experienced physical assault and 81.1% of women who experienced sexual assault still did not report it to police. The proportion of women aged between 18 and 34 who reported experiencing physical violence has decreased but the proportion of women who reported experiencing physical violence after 45 increased over the same period. The percentage of women who reported that their children had witnessed partner-related violence either from a current or ex-partner was lower than in 1996.

• The majority of violence against men is committed by other men. Of men who reported that they had experienced physical violence in the 12 months before the survey, 73.7% said that the perpetrator was a male.

A man who, until recently, I would have said was one of the leading members of the re-enactment community in Australia, and one of the world's best traditional bowmakers, was last week found guilty on all counts of several rape and indecent treatment of minors charges. Turns out he was actually giving young girls his world class bows as payment for sexual favours. The REALLY frightening thing is, if he had offered my 10 year old daughter one on one coaching as recently as 2 weeks ago, I would have been thrilled by the offer, and sent her to spend the school holidays with him.

 

[Zoii]

Paedophiles rely on trust. The ones you trust the most are often the worst. A case this year is a case example in my home town. A pastor of a church. A loving father and husband. A staunch advocate for moral behaviors and very outspoken about gays....... He raped a girl numerously on three separate occasions and stupefied her with drugs...she was 12 when it started. He was convicted this year on 12 charges
http://www.watoday.com.au/wa-news/p...-abuse-of-13yearold-girl-20151105-gkrzlj.html

 

[Dave-W]

Paedophiles rely on trust. The ones you trust the most are often the worst. A case this year is a case example in my home town. A pastor of a church. A loving father and husband. A staunch advocate for moral behaviors and very outspoken about gays....... He raped a girl numerously on three separate occasions and stupefied her with drugs...she was 12 when it started. He was convicted this year on 12 charges
http://www.watoday.com.au/wa-news/p...-abuse-of-13yearold-girl-20151105-gkrzlj.html

Most do I am sure. But a sizable number rely on fear. Fear on the part of their victims that the perp will either retaliate against family members or turn the tables to make the victim look like the perp.

As to that so-called pastor - I hope he gets put in the general population in prison. He will have a life expectancy of about 4-6 months.

 

[Zoii]

You know I cried for that girl. I wished I knew who she was so I could just sit with her and draw and be quiet.

I feel so so sorry for his kids coz their world has disappeared under them... they cant look at their friends or be at their school.... and they dont have a dad

I feel the shame of his wife - the embarrassment
I feel awful for his congregation who listened to his words that must seem false and empty now

But most of all I feel so so deeply for that girl - that poor girl - she has a life sentence

 

[Uber Genius]

Not a "whole lot." Some. Compared to the number of women, the number is minuscule.

Of course that may reflect gender differences in what constitutes "abuse."

I would call being punched in the face full force by someone who studied martial arts (not to be confused with marital) for 5 years. Friend that was hit in the head with a baseball bat by his wife ended up with over a dozen stitches and a concussion. Another hit by his wife with a golf club.

Point is, when we say "statistically," we assume that reporting of incidents occurs at the exact same level.

While both are extremely unreported, women out of fear, men out of embarrassment, my intuition is that men under report more often.

One pastor said he wasn't even sure men could be abuse victims. When I told him after the service of some of my experiences he argued with me and suggested I was making it up (no kidding).

How many times do you have to go through those accusations before you decide to not report it.

One counselor threatened me with physical violence in his office at the accusation by my wife that I abused her (bravo) but when the truth came out that she was the abuser 20 minutes later (much to the counselors surprise) I got an apology, but he didn't threaten any consequences let alone physical violence (not that he should have) for my wife.

Seem this a lot over the last 25 years. So anecdotally, I have strong evidence for a double standard here.

1 - women encouraged to report and get help
2 - men discouraged ("your making it up")
3 - men given consequences both from law, church, and counseling
4 - cops seldom take wives to jail even when witnesses have them initiating the abuse, husbands ask to leave their own house when victimized by wife.
5 - wives (3 incidences) can make false claims that use police to shame and manipulate a situation to imprison their husbands for alleged abuse, later o recant due to falsity not fear.
6 - my brother was laughed at the first time he claimed he was an abuse victim and called the police. They did however call a emergency transport to get his head injury looked at. Nice of them.

So while this is a serious and life-threatening situation for women and complacency in churches seems at an all-time high, we must be vigilant to all the downtrodden. And especially the most hidden forms where our own law, police, counseling, and church communities actually discourage reporting or getting help!

 

[Zoii]

Uber I acknowledge assault isnt exclusively to women. It might be the far less common but that doesn't mean anything when your a victim. In fact what makes it all the worse is a lack of validation... that it happened....that you were a victim

 

[Dave-W]

But most of all I feel so so deeply for that girl - that poor girl - she has a life sentence

Indeed. So sad.

 

[Dave-W]

I would call being punched in the face full force by someone who studied martial arts (not to be confused with marital) for 5 years.

You need to finish your sentence. You would call that WHAT exactly?

Friend that was hit in the head with a baseball bat by his wife ended up with over a dozen stitches and a concussion. Another hit by his wife with a golf club.

And I was hit by a Revere-ware 2 qt c00king pot hard enough to completely break the handle off. So?

One pastor said he wasn't even sure men could be abuse victims. When I told him after the service of some of my experiences he argued with me and suggested I was making it up (no kidding).

I believe you. Some pastors seem to be removed from real life.

So anecdotally, I have strong evidence for a double standard here.

Maybe so. But by everyone's calculations, women have the far worse time of it than men. Compare the number of deaths. So lets clean up the women being abused and maybe then we should start looking at the men.

We are men. We can take ANYTHING.

 

[Uber Genius]

Uber I acknowledge assault isnt exclusively to women. It might be the far less common but that doesn't mean anything when your a victim. In fact what makes it all the worse is a lack of validation... that it happened....that you were a victim

Thx.

I'm glad to be engaging a group of Christians who actively pursues helping the oppressed.

 

[MyOwnSockPuppet]

We are men. We can take ANYTHING.

Given the relative suicide rates (Australia 3.1 male suicides per female suicide, Canada also 3.1, USA 3.7, UK 3.8) citation very badly needed.

 

[Dave-W]

Given the relative suicide rates (Australia 3.1 male suicides per female suicide, Canada also 3.1, USA 3.7, UK 3.8) citation very badly needed.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

 

[MyOwnSockPuppet]

Not a "whole lot." Some. Compared to the number of women, the number is minuscule.

Of course that may reflect gender differences in what constitutes "abuse."

I know that the relationship I left with one more broken facial bone than I had going in (not mentioning the six months worth of bruises and black eyes that everyone I knew wrote off as rugby injuries without even asking) I would consider abusive.
The available figures tend to be laughably agenda-driven or woefully under-resourced to try and collect the data, but I'd imagine that it's an awful lot closer to parity than certain branches of gender politics would like to admit.