When I was nine years old, I decided I wanted to be a missionary doctor. I gave up on that idea around 12.
Then when I was sixteen, I realized God was telling me to pursue missions again. I was not happy at first, but as I accepted it, it became my passion and the driving force in my life. It was all I wanted. It was ironic, because if you know me in real life now, you wouldn't think of me as missionary material. I am very insecure, not bold or outgoing by any stretch of the imagination. And I was ten times worse at sixteen.
Then around eighteen, I went through a period of disillusionment. I realized that I was just not cut out for missionary work and I was discouraged and frustrated because no one seemed to understand me or my desires. I wanted to do something big. I wanted to change the world. I wanted to save lives (I was particularly interested in working in developing countries). No one really seemed to understand that, although they sure pretended too.
Then I realized that the frontline people don't function without the background people. For every missionary, there are dozens of "normal" people paying his or her bills. World Vision can't put one plate of food in front of a hungry child without the work of the file clerks and project managers in their domestic offices. Politics and the economy won't change in favor of the poor without information and convincing research, which will most likely be sorted out by some data enterer making $8 an hour.
I am using missions and world relief as an example, because that is my passion, but this is true for any big cause or important work. Doctors and paramedics save lives every day but they couldn't do it without the people at the 911 call center who arrange for the ambulance. For every exciting job, there are a gazillion or more boring jobs that make it possible to bring about the good of that one job.
And so I realized that I was not missionary material
. Yes, I had mixed feelings. I always believed, and still believe with all my heart, that God could use anyone, even the most unqualified, such as me, to reach the nations, to feed the hungry, to cure the sick. God could have sent me into the heart of Africa and used me there. The Bible is full of ordinary people being used for extraordinary things. In fact, most major events in the Bible centered around the actions of the most normal and unqualified people.
Nevertheless, to say that he does this all the time or even most of the time is to overlook the crucial work that needs to be done by "normal" people. More than that, it overlooks the valuable skills and talents of those people. I discovered that I don't have the right character qualities to be a missionary. I suck at evangelism and I'm practically scared of my own shadow. I have no self-confidence and am very insecure and socially awkward. I don't interact with other people very well.
But I'm very organized and very intelligent. I'm also creative and a good learner. I'm not a computer expert, but I can learn different computer programs and sotware fast and work well with them. I can do research well. And I enjoy all these things.
So that's what I'll probably be doing my whole life. Office work. I hope to work within a nonprofit organization, such as World Vision or maybe in the government or a world relief agency. Not only will my work be enabling missionaries and humanitarian efforts around the world, but at least part of my paycheck will be as well. I'll stay in the US and hopefully be a light to those around me. I'll be able to provide a home for a couple orphaned or abandoned children, which is another one of my desires and something that I am capable of doing.
At first I was just resigned to doing the boring work, but now I understand the importance of it, even if the work itself isn't fun or exciting. God sees every minuscule task that brings about success in the greater scheme of things and I take comfort in that.
Whoa, that was a whole lot longer than I intended it to be. Kudos to anyone who got through it all. Anyway, that my take on the issue and that's what gets me through a long boring day at work. It's a means to an end, not an end in itself. And it's an important means.
Then when I was sixteen, I realized God was telling me to pursue missions again. I was not happy at first, but as I accepted it, it became my passion and the driving force in my life. It was all I wanted. It was ironic, because if you know me in real life now, you wouldn't think of me as missionary material. I am very insecure, not bold or outgoing by any stretch of the imagination. And I was ten times worse at sixteen.
Then around eighteen, I went through a period of disillusionment. I realized that I was just not cut out for missionary work and I was discouraged and frustrated because no one seemed to understand me or my desires. I wanted to do something big. I wanted to change the world. I wanted to save lives (I was particularly interested in working in developing countries). No one really seemed to understand that, although they sure pretended too.
Then I realized that the frontline people don't function without the background people. For every missionary, there are dozens of "normal" people paying his or her bills. World Vision can't put one plate of food in front of a hungry child without the work of the file clerks and project managers in their domestic offices. Politics and the economy won't change in favor of the poor without information and convincing research, which will most likely be sorted out by some data enterer making $8 an hour.
I am using missions and world relief as an example, because that is my passion, but this is true for any big cause or important work. Doctors and paramedics save lives every day but they couldn't do it without the people at the 911 call center who arrange for the ambulance. For every exciting job, there are a gazillion or more boring jobs that make it possible to bring about the good of that one job.
And so I realized that I was not missionary material
. Yes, I had mixed feelings. I always believed, and still believe with all my heart, that God could use anyone, even the most unqualified, such as me, to reach the nations, to feed the hungry, to cure the sick. God could have sent me into the heart of Africa and used me there. The Bible is full of ordinary people being used for extraordinary things. In fact, most major events in the Bible centered around the actions of the most normal and unqualified people.Nevertheless, to say that he does this all the time or even most of the time is to overlook the crucial work that needs to be done by "normal" people. More than that, it overlooks the valuable skills and talents of those people. I discovered that I don't have the right character qualities to be a missionary. I suck at evangelism and I'm practically scared of my own shadow. I have no self-confidence and am very insecure and socially awkward. I don't interact with other people very well.
But I'm very organized and very intelligent. I'm also creative and a good learner. I'm not a computer expert, but I can learn different computer programs and sotware fast and work well with them. I can do research well. And I enjoy all these things.
So that's what I'll probably be doing my whole life. Office work. I hope to work within a nonprofit organization, such as World Vision or maybe in the government or a world relief agency. Not only will my work be enabling missionaries and humanitarian efforts around the world, but at least part of my paycheck will be as well. I'll stay in the US and hopefully be a light to those around me. I'll be able to provide a home for a couple orphaned or abandoned children, which is another one of my desires and something that I am capable of doing.
At first I was just resigned to doing the boring work, but now I understand the importance of it, even if the work itself isn't fun or exciting. God sees every minuscule task that brings about success in the greater scheme of things and I take comfort in that.
Whoa, that was a whole lot longer than I intended it to be. Kudos to anyone who got through it all. Anyway, that my take on the issue and that's what gets me through a long boring day at work. It's a means to an end, not an end in itself. And it's an important means.
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