Hey everyone! I hope you all had a blessed Christmas. Mine was simply fantastic.
Yan called me on Wednesday night around 8 and we talked for awhile. For those of you who missed my "Scared of Love" thread, Yan is a guy I met as a penpal who ended up living close by. Anyway, he and I chatted until midnight about alot of different things, about his networking courses, my family, his family, his life growing up in China and how things are so different here in the States. He asked me when my birthday was and I told him it is in January. He said he wanted to take me out to dinner. I respectfully declined his kind offer, citing family obligations as my reason. Deep down inside, I didn't feel comfortable with it. Not in a "oh my goodness, this man is going to rape and kill me!" uncomfortable, but almost as if this (even as a mere casual friendship) was progressing faster than I wanted it to. I kindly explained my theories on conventional dating, purity, and relationships. He sat on the other end of the line quietly as I launched into my "Joshua Harris inspired preach mode" about the dangers of conventional, wordly dating. I talked about how important it is that I guard my heart and my body against sin and heartbreak.
Oh! These things seem so easy when written in books, but in the real world, when it comes to you actually having to tell people up front "look, I don't date I court" it's hard to get people to understand. How can a world of sin and selfish thinking understand? How can a generation of minds programmed by media, society, and even some of our churches (!) that sex isn't a big deal unless you make it one even begin to comprehend the desire for a pure and godly romance? He never really responded except by saying I was very mature for my age. I wonder if he felt I was either telling him I'm looking to nab a husband right away or that I was rejecting him. I just don't know how to get him to understand my principles and my aim without:
1. Delving too deeply into my sexual past which would explain my desire to remain pure from now on.
2. Making him feel rejected.
3. Sounding too preachy.
4. Making it sound like I am looking to get married right away.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated, because he's a nice guy but I'm just not ready to make that step over to candlelit dinners. I'm just not ready to move beyond a telephone friendship. How can you explain that to a man whose been programmed to have a different view on relationships and dating who only lives fifteen short minutes away?
Yan called me on Wednesday night around 8 and we talked for awhile. For those of you who missed my "Scared of Love" thread, Yan is a guy I met as a penpal who ended up living close by. Anyway, he and I chatted until midnight about alot of different things, about his networking courses, my family, his family, his life growing up in China and how things are so different here in the States. He asked me when my birthday was and I told him it is in January. He said he wanted to take me out to dinner. I respectfully declined his kind offer, citing family obligations as my reason. Deep down inside, I didn't feel comfortable with it. Not in a "oh my goodness, this man is going to rape and kill me!" uncomfortable, but almost as if this (even as a mere casual friendship) was progressing faster than I wanted it to. I kindly explained my theories on conventional dating, purity, and relationships. He sat on the other end of the line quietly as I launched into my "Joshua Harris inspired preach mode" about the dangers of conventional, wordly dating. I talked about how important it is that I guard my heart and my body against sin and heartbreak.
Oh! These things seem so easy when written in books, but in the real world, when it comes to you actually having to tell people up front "look, I don't date I court" it's hard to get people to understand. How can a world of sin and selfish thinking understand? How can a generation of minds programmed by media, society, and even some of our churches (!) that sex isn't a big deal unless you make it one even begin to comprehend the desire for a pure and godly romance? He never really responded except by saying I was very mature for my age. I wonder if he felt I was either telling him I'm looking to nab a husband right away or that I was rejecting him. I just don't know how to get him to understand my principles and my aim without:
1. Delving too deeply into my sexual past which would explain my desire to remain pure from now on.
2. Making him feel rejected.
3. Sounding too preachy.
4. Making it sound like I am looking to get married right away.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated, because he's a nice guy but I'm just not ready to make that step over to candlelit dinners. I'm just not ready to move beyond a telephone friendship. How can you explain that to a man whose been programmed to have a different view on relationships and dating who only lives fifteen short minutes away?
